“No! He’s MY giant!”

Drake’s rating: I now have a shaving cream phobia

Drake’s review: After having considerable difficulty in getting the initial Fairway International Pictures offering, The Choppers, into the drive-in circuit, Arch Hall, Sr. found out that navigating the murky waters of independent distribution was a tricky business. Unable to make much headway with a single feature, Hall, Sr. shot a second movie two years later and successfully coupled the two films together as a double-bill.

That’s right, if you were around in 1962 you might have had the chance to catch a double-feature of The Choppers and… Eegah!

Zipping around in her little European two-seater, Roxy Miller (Marilyn Manning) comes across what she calls, “a giant!” Shocked by the sight, because Roxy has evidently never cruised Sunset Strip after dark, she faints dead away in classic ‘60s leading girl fashion. Revived by her boyfriend Tom Nelson (Arch Hall, Jr.), Roxy insists that what she saw was real. Her father, Robert Miller (Hall, Sr., under the pseudonym William Watters), is skeptical, but takes the pair into the desert the next day on a giant hunt. Finding large footprints, Robert hires a helicopter to search the area and finds more than he bargained for.

Meanwhile, Tom grabs his axe and strums away at the pool, inexplicably crooning about a girl named Vicky in an attempt to impress Roxy. They then take Tom’s dune buggy into the desert to shoot some filler footage and ostensibly look for Robert. Unable to find him, Tom and Roxy fail to make a break for it and head back to civilization, to live carefree lives under assumed names and deny any and all involvement with Eegah. Instead, they hunker down for the night and Tom sings again (with full rhythm accompaniment), this time about a girl named Valerie.

Honestly, Roxy should have taken the hint by now.

Inevitably, Eegah (Richard Kiel) is revealed as Roxy’s “giant,” and he kidnaps father and daughter and takes them back to his cave. He does not, however, impress Roxy by taking Tom’s guitar and going full Pete Townshend smash-mode on it. Missed opportunity, Eegah.

While Eegah entertains his new guests, Tom searches the desert. As Roxy shaves Robert for some reason, Tom searches the desert some more. As Eegah picks flowers for Roxy and then decides to lose his caveman beard, settling in for the most disturbing shaving scene you’ve ever witnessed, Tom searches like a man possessed, a lost soul seeking out his destiny amid the obstructions of an uncaring and unjust society.

Okay, that’s a bit of an exaggeration. He does search pretty hard, though, and he fires his gun into the air. So that’s pretty cool.

Eventually Eegah gets way too handsy with Roxy, allowing Tom to come to the rescue. The trio make their escape, but the giant isn’t going to take this fluke of a loss lying down, and he comes waltzing into town looking for a rematch…

Producing and directing under another pseudonym, Nichlolas Merriwether, Hall, Sr. churned out Eegah on a reported budget of around $15,000. Even in 1962 this was a minuscule amount to shoot a movie with, and it shows. The two Halls, Manning and Kiel make up the bulk of the cast, the direction is amateurish and the sound is spotty, often made worse by the post-production dubbing. All in all, Eegah has the feel of a home movie run amok.

On the other hand, Eegah existed primarily as a way for Hall, Sr. to get his movies into the drive-ins, and it worked. So on that level at least, Eegah was a success.

A big, messy, shaving cream-covered success.

Intermission!

• Eegah himself, Richard Kiel, was originally cast as the Incredible Hulk for the CBS television show. Test footage showed him as not not bulky enough for the role, which then went to Lou Ferrigno.
• Arch Hall, Sr. recorded the voice for the Eegah character.
• The Choppers was originally shot in 1959, but sat on the shelf for a few years. Arch Hall, Jr. was only 15 when he starred in it, and 17 when he appeared in Eegah.
• Arch Hall, Sr. took his son and Richard Kiel on a regional tour to support Eegah, with Kiel striding through drive-ins in full caveman gear.
• I watched the unedited, non-MST3K version of Eegah for this review. I do not recommend doing this.