Long-time readers (or those suddenly going through all of my articles. Hey, you.) may have run across one of my old pieces detailing six baffling rap numbers within children’s films. It was a bit of a passion project of mine, as Mini Me would roll my eyes whenever a movie tried to appeal to me with some lanky goofball spitting rhymes like they’ve just downed a bottle of Benadryl.

These chilling corporate shenanigans made their way into a lot of Halloween-themed fare as well, most of it not so family friendly as my previous examples. Many (okay, just a few) have tried and practically all of them failed to sing-talk about just what makes these stories so spinetingling. Can your heart stand the shocking facts of spooooooky rap?

Here lies my list in no particular order.

6. “Addams Groove” by M.C. Hammer – The Addams Family

This movie barely qualifies for this list because it’s more macabre than straight horror, but also because this song is an absolute banger and I’ll sword duel anyone who says otherwise. The beat is infectious (nice incorporation of the original TV theme), the lyrics focus on the Addams and their ookiness, and the music video has the four core cast members from the film. It was considered the theme for The Addams Family film and had a music video that played before it in theaters.

The video opens up with The Hams struggling in a guillotine manned by Wednesday. Despite his protestations she ends up slicing off his head, which then bounces across the room while singing about how weird his neighbors the Addams are. It reattaches itself to his body, and now it’s time to dance! Ban Hammer dances around the Addams yard, culminating in Gomez challenging him to a duel after catching Hamstring flirting with Morticia. At some point they call a truce and everyone grooves along in the cemetery.

I love this whole stupid thing. Unfortunately for M.C. Hamlet, “Addams Groove” was his last top ten hit in the United States and received a Golden Raspberry Award for Worst Original Song in 1991. I feel like that has to be a mistake…surely that year had more insidious options to choose from.

Memorable Lyrics: They do what they want to do, say what they want to say
Live how they want to live, play how they want to play

5. “Are You Ready For Freddy” by The Fat Boys – Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master

This Fat Boys release is only one of many Freddy-theme songs…it’s not even the only Krueger-related rap song.. It is, however, the only Krueger-related rap song that is officially part of the Nightmare on Elm Street franchise. The lyrics are dark (for this kind of thing), the beat is sufficiently moody, haunting voices sing the chorus, and Freddy himself raps (albeit terribly).

The video’s premise is that one of the members of the group is Freddy’s nephew. Uncle Freddy left him a house in his will, but there’s a catch: He has to spend a night in the home. The whole group heads inside to find the house is falling to pieces around them and a behatted killer is chasing them. They decide to tough it out anyway which I can’t judge them for, considering the housing market.

Shenanigans ensue to the tune of a pretty underwhelming song (minus eerie chorus) and the video closes on one of the Fat Boys eating a donut.

You know, because he’s fat.

Kudos to them for getting Robert Englund on board, but overall this one just doesn’t do it for me. It was a better choice than the following entry, though.

Memorable Lyrics: 1 AM and Freddy’s here
The supreme dream maker, the master of fear
When you see night coming, stay away from the dark
Watch out for Freddy, he’ll burst your heart

4. “Nightmare on My Street” by DJ Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince – Inspired by the Nightmare on Elm Street series

You may have noticed that until now the entries have been part of the film they’re about, either through marketing for or being featured within the movie at some point. With the release of the first Nightmare on Elm street film, Freddy Krueger slashed his way into pop culture (heh). Aside from the sequels, Freddy got video games, a tv series, appearances in music videos, and he even recorded his own albums. With all these talents scrambling to get a piece of that sexy fedora, it was inevitable that someone was going to butt heads over the property.

The story goes that hip-hop duo Will Smith And The Dude Uncle Phil Used To Shot Put Out The Front Door made this for inclusion in Dream Master, but the producers decided to use the Fat Boys instead. This was before “Parents Just Don’t Understand”, “Summertime”, and Will Smith’s TV/Movie career, so I can see why they went with the more recognizable group. “Nightmare on My Street” ended up being included in the duo’s album He’s the DJ, I’m the Rapper, which got them sued by New Line. The video they shot for it was ordered to be destroyed (copies were found and released 30 years later, in 2018) and the label had to put a disclaimer on the song, stating that it is not part of the soundtrack and so on.

Despite the song’s use of the Nightmare on Elm Street musical motif, this song wasn’t a good fit for the franchise. That family-friendly, jokey, story rap style (and this story goes on SO LONG) makes it hard for me to imagine the “Fred” talked about in the lyrics as much of a threat. Instead, if I listen to this with my eyes closed I just imagine Smith spinning around in a throne, gesticulating wildly.

Memorable Lyrics: “He comes to me at night after I crawl into bed
He’s burnt up like a weenie and his name is Fred!“

3. “Maniac Cop Rap” by Jay Chattaway – Maniac Cop 2: Badge of Silence

This one is a serious contender for the most fun on the list, but the Addams family still grooves harder. Not only that, but I’ve been digging on “Addams Groove” for 21 years, whereas I only found out about this song recently. I haven’t seen this film, so I have to thank Scaredy Cats for introducing me to it with their list about horror movie music videos.

Now that I do know about it I have listened to it several times. The beat’s decent, the delivery is tongue-in-cheek, and the lyrics make Maniac Cop sound like an insane force to be dealt with. You may have noticed I don’t have a very high bar for music. Actually, if you’ve read any of my contributions to this site you probably know I don’t have a very high bar for films, either.

For the video we only get a clip show, which is understandable, considering we’re not dealing with the level of musician star power or film company financial backing. Regardless, this song pumps me up to see the film and that’s really the point of all this.

2. “Reggie Rap” by Elvis Brown – Phantasm: Ravager

The (likely) final film in the Phantasm series brought us quite the unique treat: A rap song that focuses not on the antagonist, but the protagonist.

Unfortunately that’s about all I can get out of it. I tried, folks. I did various Google searches, checked out the artist’s Spotify, and reached out to other Ravager fans to see if anyone could help, but no one seems to have a clear idea of what this song’s lyrics are. Listening to it doesn’t help either, as it has a low-rent Busta Rhymes flow without being even one percent as enjoyable as Rhymes.

I managed to suss out a few lines, but what I could understand wasn’t all that impressive. The song was in the end credits and there’s no music video, so there’s nothing going on for it visually, either. I’m gonna recommend a hard pass on this one.

Memorable Lyrics: “Tryin’ to save the world with that Tall Man right behind me
With my best friend my passenger we’ll kill all these ravagers“

1. “The Leprechaun Rap” by Warwick Davis – Leprechaun in the Hood

I’m gonna bet that up to this point about 75% of you knew this would be on here and was hoping it would be number one. The other 25%…

We have such sights to show you.

I have only watched the first of the Leprechaun franchise, which I had to see because how could I not? It’s a killer leprechaun harassing Jennifer Aniston, who thwarts him by throwing shoes at him that need to be shined.

I’ll re-word that in case you weren’t sufficiently impressed: The killer leprechaun cannot attack Baby Jennifer Aniston and Friends because it simply must shine their shoes.

I imagined that there was really nowhere to go from there and, while I was right, there is a diamond in the Emerald Isle. Some gorgeous soul decided that not only should there be an entry in the franchise titled “Leprechaun in the Hood”, but it should include a scene of said leprechaun rapping about how much he needs someone to pump his Irish spring.

Warwick Davis dressed as a leprechaun and rapped lines like “Lep in the hood, here to do no good”. That man is a treasure. And so is this clip, which I have included for your enjoyment. Bask in it!

Memorable Lyrics: “Sit with a lad who’s lean and green and let me show you why I’m a love machine”

I love knowing about the weird stuff you guys have seen, so leave me a comment if you think there are some particularly egregious horror movie raps I should look at.