“I happen to know that in the future I will not have the slightest use for algebra, and I speak from experience.”

Justin’s rating: Just for the record, there’s no way I’d ever want to go back to my high school unless I had a few thousand dollars to invest in AOL, Google, and Apple.

Justin’s review: I like to think that I’m an expert on ’80s time travel movies involving DeLoreans, Navy destroyers, phone booths, science fair projects, and weird spinny things. But for whatever reason, a pretty significant 1986 time travel tale slid under my radar — until 2026 rolled around, and the moment caught up with me.

Sometimes labeled as “the girly Back to the Future,” Peggy Sue Got Married doesn’t make much of a play for the geeky crowd. There’s no high-tech device constructed to fling our hero into the past — it’s merely fainting. Peggy Sue (Kathleen Turner) passes out during her 25th high school reunion and is whisked back to 1960 and her senior year of high school.

This becomes the ultimate do-over for Peggy Sue, as her life and marriage weren’t doing so hot in 1985. Instead of keeping the timeline on track, she gets an opportunity to reconnect with old friends, vacation in her old life, and see if she can’t straighten out her marriage to Charlie (Nicolas Cage) by tinkering around in the past.

“If I knew then what I know now, I’d do a lot of things differently,” Peggy Sue says at the start, speaking for most of us. I mean who wouldn’t rectify a few errors and make some life-benefiting decisions in the past if we had the chance? Well, Peggy Sue does, and she’s not shy about splashing about in her former life to do all the things she wish she’d done, like chase some other guys and help a nerd become a billionaire.

But maybe — just maybe — the right choices were made the first time around? That’s something to consider, too.

By all reports, Cage didn’t want to be here and was a complete jerk and nuisance during the filming of this, which made the project hell for Turner and others. And that’s extremely unfortunate, because it deprives Turner of a co-star to reminisce with or good memories of the project in general.

It’s also unfortunate for us, because the disgruntled Cage affected a really weird cartoony voice that held me back from taking him seriously as a character. Also distracting — yet in a good way — is the appearance of Helen Hunt and Jim Carrey pretty early in their careers.

But at the end of the day, Peggy Sue Got Married isn’t really a time travel flick as much as it is a high school romance movie that indulges in the ’80s love affair with the ’50s and ’60s. I’m not the biggest fan of Turner — she acts way too mature and old for any of her scenes* — but it is enjoyable to see her rediscover her past in a fashion that’s very relatable to those of us drunk on nostalgia.

I can understand why this gets compared to Back to the Future, but it’s really a surface comparison between two very different styles of movies. While Back to the Future had a very clear goal driving its plot (get Marty’s parents back together and get home), Peggy Sue Got Married doesn’t seem to be going anywhere in particular for any particular reason during most of its runtime. Peggy Sue Got Married is fine, merely fine, but lacks charismatic stars and the humor of its contemporary that it sorely needed.

*Turner was 32 when this movie came out, which is really pushing it to play a teenager.

Intermission!

• $299 VCR? I hope they aren’t sold out!
• Seeing Helen Hunt as a “daughter” is breaking my brain. I think the woman was born 30 years old.
• “You took this real seriously. You’re a real blast from the past!”
• And casual cocaine usage. This is the ’80s.
• 17 minutes until we’re back in the past… Twinkies
• Don’t eat red M&Ms!
• “I’m going to go to Liverpool and discover the Beatles!”
• Algebra is useless. Deal with it.
• He’s writing a book on kite construction. Dude never wants to meet girls, I guess.
• Richard’s burrito
• Nicolas Cage eating a Rice Krispies treat is captivating
• “You mean my… whang?” So many terms going on in this scene for male parts.
• “Save it! Woman! Humiliator!”
• “Hey man, I’m a hip chick.”
• “No more jello for me, mom!”
• That’s some pretty bad poetry, man
• The lodge was founded by a time traveler?
• “It wouldn’t be a lodge without hats!”