Shark Bait (2022) — You’ll be rooting for the shark

“Cause now it’s pissed as well as hungry!”

Kat’s rating: Bad shark, beautiful scenery.

Kat’s review: If you enjoy shark flicks and watching unlikeable college students meet their untimely yet deserved demise, then Shark Bait is for you.

Shark Bait opens with a tale as old as time: A bunch of riled-up college students on spring break with nothing to lose but their youth… and limbs. This film follows the usual horror movie fivesome, including a hot frisky blonde, a sweet mousy brunette, her hunky boyfriend, and two goofball dudes filling in dialogue with frat boy one-liners. Now, being college students and this being their senior year, you would hope grand theft would be out of the question. Nope, our future leaders of America here, feeling pretty groovy after drinking Corona and Tequila, decide to swindle two jet skis and drive off into the deepest parts of the Mexican sea.

One of the most horrifying parts of this film was the long drawn-out scene of these kids playing FREAKIN’ CHICKEN with the jet skis. I have never experienced such anxiety while watching a movie. Of course, it’s an exaggeration, but that scene will stay with me until the end of days.

Once our brainiacs have crashed, all hell breaks loose and what follows is actually a pretty decent shark movie. We have a plethora of jump scares, menacing shots of a large fin in the distance, and a glimmer of hope that is quickly struck down when a fisherman can’t hear screams for help between bites of his burrito.

The drama gets turned to 11 when our mousy brunette Nat (Holly Early) finds out that hot blonde Miley (Catherine Hannay) slept with her hunky boyfriend Tom (Jack Trueman). These two sex-crazed backstabbers ACTUALLY slept with each other on this group vacation while their girlfriend/best friend was in the other room. Someone get the shark over here to take these two out, please.

After this cheating revelation, the rest of the movie is all cries of apology and gore. The most impressive of shark attacks might be when this behemoth of a sea creature launches our cheating boyfriend about 20-feet into the air (enter clapping for the shark here). Nat with her tiny frame manages to get poor injured Tom out of the water and onto the jet ski, and then basically makes eye contact with Miley as she gets viciously chewed in half.

The last part of this film is basically Nat being an absolute badass. She stabs the shark in the eye, fixes the jet ski engine, and at least attempts to save her boyfriend. Alas, he heroically sacrifices himself to the shark gods to save Nat. This shark is so determined to get every last one of these kids that it basically chases Nat all the way into the shallows and shoves its fat body in between two rocks, letting Nat make it safe to shore.

All in all this was a pretty enjoyable shark film to watch. I do have one question though: How far away is Nat from the resort or even civilization? When the camera pans out at the end, she is basically in the middle of nowhere, which leaves me questioning if she dies of dehydration after all that work. I guess we’ll never know.

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