“This C.H.U.D.’s for you!”

Justin’s rating: “KAY-TEE” is the new “E.T. phone home”

Justin’s review: I’m really not one to review movie sequels without first doing the original, but I feel that I can throw down an exception card for this one. Not only did Drew do an excellent job covering the 1984 exposé of these so-called “Cannibalistic Humanoid Underground Dwellers,” but the sequel title’s been calling to me like an irresistible siren. I must, I must review C.H.U.D. II: Bud the Chud, and not you, not me, and not the several government agencies currently pounding on my door are going to stop this from happening.

(But seriously, this may be one of my favorite movie titles of all time, which predisposes me to liking this flick on that shallow impulse alone.)

Our good friend Bud (Gerrit Graham) is the very last C.H.U.D. left in existence, being the target of military experiments to breed unstoppable zombies. But the project’s plug is being pulled, and it looks like that’s all she wrote. But lucky for Bud — and unlucky for humanity at large — a pair of desperate high school students steal him as a cadaver replacement for their science class. I mean, this is the same year that Weekend at Bernie’s made corpse manhandling a trend, so I guess people were really bored and macabre in 1989.

Bud doesn’t stay dead for very long, thanks to an errant hair dryer, and instead becomes a mobile snacking machine who has the singular ability to make even more undead that can join his army. This sets off a CHUDhunt of epic proportions, with both the military and these high schoolers scrambling to contain the growing threat.

Rumor was that this film originally began as a Return of the Living Dead sequel script, which explains why it’s not really about underground cannibals at all. Instead, it’s more of a slapstick teen comedy, kind of like Encino Man with a dead guy instead of a caveman. Bud goes on wacky adventures and even develops a crush on high schooler Katie. And he’s big into the physical comedy, throwing himself into the role with exaggerated gusto.

Meanwhile, we’ve got Robert Vaughn over here hamming it up as an evil general who has no compunctions against using rocket launchers against crowds of zombies. And a poodle that becomes a zombie itself. And a kickin’ song that belts out “Bud the Chud! Bud the Chud!” And a conclusion that sees the zombies giving in to their primal urge… to party!

C.H.U.D. II is so nominally a horror flick that I shouldn’t even include that category here. It’s got a very hammy, unsubtle comedic timing that requires a certain lowering of standards to enjoy. What I’m saying is that you’ve got to like goofy juvenile humor to have any fun here. Fortunately, I do — and I did. I liked the peppy energy, the likable teen leads, and the game-for-anything soundtrack.

I guess I should be honest and tell you that I’m very much in the minority for liking this, at least according to the several savage reviews I’ve read. But that doesn’t deter me, and it shouldn’t you, either. I laughed out loud a few times and enjoyed the ride that Bud gave us. Any day is a good day when a semi-intelligent zombie starts making his own army, one bite at a time.

Intermission!

• Heh, the title graphic getting eaten
• “I’m more of a nuke man, myself.”
• Hey kids, it’s Robert Vaughn!
• Don’t open the cat closet when you want to open the zombie closet
• Shut up, guy who’s yelling “Get him! Get him!” over and over
• When you don’t know much about science, you tend to start fires
• “This isn’t school, Steve, this is punishment.”
• Schools tend to store unrefrigerated cadavers in their basements
• CADAVER-CAM
• “Great, the guy dripped all over the back seat.”
• “You’re having a nightmare!” “I am not!”
• Bud snacked on the doggie
• Someone actually said “a CHUD-ified brain”
• Bud likes workout videos
• Smoking while working out is a good strategy
• The “Bud the Chud” song on the soundtrack
• ZOMBIE POODLE ATTACK
• Zombies like fish, if they can get them
• The rocket launcher attack
• Bud backhands a zombie’s head off… and the zombie keeps going after it
• The zombies that ate the couple’s bird is a fine moment of cinematic history
• The amazing outfits for the teen Halloween dance
• The zombies getting psyched up for the attack
• The bunsen burner through the forehead
• The exploding zombie was pretty cool
• “You know, if he was alive, he would’ve given us an A for that.”
• Katie’s swimsuit is so awful
• Ha, Bud gives Katie his own heart