“When I get angry, Mr. Bigglesworth gets upset. And when Mr. Bigglesworth gets upset… people die!”

PoolMan’s Rating: Don’t worry. This movie won’t bite. Hard.

PoolMan’s Review: Seeing as Justin won’t do it, and because I’m a plot-rehashing FREAK, here’s the breakdown. After a climactic showdown at a nightclub in the sixties, Doctor Evil cryogenically freezes himself and his cat (the infamous Mr Bigglesworth!) and launches himself into orbit in a Burger Boy statue. To prevent his threat from ever returning, the British secret service freeze his rival, the heroic Austin Powers, and vow to bring him back to service should Dr Evil ever return.

Well, return he does (Duh, otherwise it’d be a pretty short movie! I could just picture it… “And Doctor Evil was never seen again!” “BOOOO!!!! We paid good money for this flick!”), and the two enemies do battle in the nineties, as Powers tries to stop Evil from exploding a nuclear weapon in the earth’s core, igniting the volcanoes of the world.

Austin Powers is entertaining from so many aspects, that it’s too good to be true. It’s a GREAT James Bond spoof (and you’ve got to admit, Justin, the Lotta Fagina character is a wonderful shot at such names as Pussy Galore), it’s a good character movie, and it’s just a plain funny sex/spy/sign-of-the-times comedy. You will find yourself seeing this movie, then calling everyone you know “baby”, and telling them they’re “groovy, baby”, and thinking aloud “I bet she shags like a minx”.

Whoops. Maybe that’s pushing it. Or not!

Anyways, my heartiest recommendations go out for this film. Never will you regret seeing it.

Justin’s Rating: How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? Austin Powers knows, baby!

Justin’s Review: “If any film genre exists long enough, it always spawns satires,” my old film prof once said. But then, he was always bragging about how many magic ‘shrooms he consumed in the ’60s, so maybe I should look up Bartlett’s for a better quote.

Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery is a spoof in the vein of such classics as Airplane, Hot Shots, and Attack of the Killer Tomatoes, but it is also so much more. So, so much more. Am I stalling because I don’t want to rehash the plot? You bet your sweet undercarriage, baby.

So, Austin (Mike Myers with bad teeth plus exciting eyebrows) is a very popular British spy in the 60’s, chasing down his elusive nemesis, Doctor Evil. Evil escapes from a nightclub shootout and freezes himself until the 90’s, which causes Austin follows suit. Upon re-emergance into our futuristic and perfect culture, Austin devotes himself to finding out what Soylant Green is made out of.

Whoops! I hate plot rehashing, if you couldn’t tell from my other 57 reviews. Executive decision: I’m skipping it! Austin Powers is such a perfect entry into our little cult world that many of my friends were meowing in pleasure. Witty and funny (which are two very distinct concepts), smart and sassy, this film is one of the best entries of 1997. Mike Myers strikes gold again, bringing to life two terrific characters here, the oversexed Austin Powers and the not-that-evil Doctor Evil. Surprisingly, the Doctor Evil character is by far and away the more popular of the two, delivering scenes and lines with malevolent arrogance and childlike gullibility.

I recommend this film widely, not because I’ve received large sums of money to do so (no, Maureen, I’ll give you those figures later! I’m writing a review now!), but because one day you will die and then shoot yourself because you never saw this film. A life without Austin Powers. Think about it, will you?

I forgive it for descending into base humor now and then because it exceeds a mere spy spoof (stealing off of James Bond classics and more). It gives off a vibrant, insane energy that makes you feel like you might want to try to take over the world yourself. There are too many quotable lines to mention, but if you can memorize them and do the Austin/Dr. Evil accent to boot, you will be forever cool in my book.

Kyle’s Rating: Live vicariously through Austin, ‘cause you don’t look good in velvet, baby!

Kyle’s Review: Fantastic! The first time I was exposed to this movie was when I found the movie poster for it a few months before it came out. The poster was crazy, and I didn’t have much hope for the movie. When it came out, I didn’t think I’d like it. I went to see it in the theater, and while I laughed a few times I didn’t think I’d ever want to own it or anything.

But something happened. My friends and I who had seen it didn’t really discuss the plot or anything, we just started putting “yeah, baby” on the end of every sentence and started putting our pinky fingers to our lips. That was all she wrote, and suddenly we were die-hard Austin fans. Austin is okay, for an international man of mystery who is trying to stop a madman from taking over the world. But Dr. Evil is fantastic as the madman with loveable quirks who is convinced that everyone who dares talk back to him is being frickin’ insolent.

I’m sure you’ve seen this by now, and you’re more than familiar with practically every line uttered by both Austin Powers and Dr. Evil (both played to perfection by Mike Myers). But if you by chance haven’t seen this movie yet, take my rhyming advice and see it twice, it’ll be nice. You may think it’s dumb the first time around, but it will grow on you to the point you’ll look in the mirror and curse your clean American teeth. So just see this movie if you haven’t, and if you have please go right now and watch it again for me. Weren’t you planning to anyway?