Saturday’s Six: Evilest Movie Corporations

1. Omni Consumer Products (RoboCop)

If Big Brother was out for financial gain, they’d be Omni Consumer Products.  OCP swept into Detroit at its worst and executed a wholesale financial takeover of the city, turning it into Delta City.  Everything’s all peachy and keen, especially when they jam the brain of a recently-deceased police officer into a state-of-the-art robotic chassy as part of their “give back to the community by grossly violating ethical boundaries” campaign.  OCP is the type of company that one has to fear being gunned down in the boardroom by a rogue machine just as much as receiving a pink slip on Friday.

2. Umbrella Corporation (Resident Evil)

Say what you will about Microsoft, Enron, and Freddie and Fannie Mae — evil as though they may be, they did not single-handedly end the world with a corpse-reanimating drug.  But really, who would have predicted that fiddling around with a genetically-altering chemical in a top-secret bunker way below the surface of the earth would have had negative consequences?  Especially when it’s overseen by a creepy computer voiced by the virtual embodiment of some dead dude’s daughter.

3. Weyland-Yutani (Aliens)

It’s a pretty harsh statement when characters say that a company is worse than face-eating aliens who want to lay their eggs in your chest and kill you in all sorts of gruesome ways, but Weyland-Yutani manages to score one worse than the aliens by repeatedly sending innocents (including kids!) into death zones, using murderous androids and back-stabbing beaurocrats to undermine rescue efforts, and accepting the loss of all those involved as long as they get their precious alien cargo.

4. Biffco Enterprises (Back to the Future part II)

Most movie corporations are faceless things, but not Biffco Enterprises, the power-hungry company that ruled over Hill Valley and beyond in an alternate 1985.  Imagine the most pig-headed jock that you know given access to unlimited amounts of money and control, then draw that out to its natural conclusion — that’s Biffco.  But hey, we can’t hate everything about it — those sideburns are cherry.

5. Cyberdyne Systems

Well, it’s got two “Y’s” in it, so you automatically know it’s evil.  Y’know, that and the whole creation of sentient, man-murdering robots who nearly wipe out all of humanity and think nothing of bending the laws of space and time to put a hit out on an innocent waitress.  Sure, it gets all blow’d up, but that doesn’t seem to stop the future holocaust in any timeline.  I just want to know if there were any interns in the company who thought it might not be a smashing idea to build things that could think “Hey, I’m through taking orders from you, Mr. Person!” and then arm them with miniguns.

6. InGen (Jurassic Park)

If you squint and look at it the right way, Jurassic Park is the tale of the most interesting corporate board meeting in all of history.  So you’ve created a company for the express purpose of resurrecting dinosaurs and putting them on display for little kids, why not go a step further and do it far from prying government eyes, in an uncontrolled environment (whatever you may think), and then hire unscrupulous hackers to try to sell you out from within, turning your entire theme park into the Dino-Terror Zone?  Just because some people whine and some get eaten, don’t listen to the nay-sayers.  I say go for it — what do you have to lose?

10 comments

  1. Well, if you are thinking in movies, doesn’t the US-Military deserve a Place in this list?
    OK, it’s not a real Company, but within the military-industrial Complex its the main driving force for countless smaller movie-companies to do evil.

  2. Excellent idea to include Biffco! But my question is about the Umbrella Corp. logo because you often see a similar one in M.A.S.H. What’s up with that?

  3. Talk about evil — the Blue Sun Corporation was behind the cancellation of “Firefly”!

    (Then again, their coffee’s not too bad.)

  4. Love the post but the order seems a little off, I would rank it; Umbrella, Weyland, Cyberdyne, OCP, BiffCo, InGen. But thats just me. I also think the list should go to seven and include Soylent Corp from the movie Soylent Green.

  5. Cyberdine is obviously first, you can’t get more evil than planning to wipeout the entire human species….or can you?

  6. I don’t know if Soylent Co. was really evil. After all, they were just dealing with the overpopulation problem which we created, not them. Their victims were talked into committing suicide, and even that was carried out by the government. Soylent took the government’s waste product and turned it into food.

  7. Would Cyberdyne really be considered evil? I mean they didn’t know that they were going to start Judgment Die.

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