Syp

Ghoulies IV (1994) — The true sequel to the first flick

“Attention K-Mart shoppers! Clean up on aisle four.”

Justin’s rating: I’m pretty sure this Faust guy is Charles, a clerk who works at Little Ceasers when he’s not cosplaying and living in his mom’s basement.

Justin’s review: Friends, we have unfinished business in the Ghoulies universe, for there is one final film of this Gremlins-knockoff quadrilogy to cover. We shall get no sleep, no sleep indeed until we plunge deep into the stockpile of 1994 direct-to-video dreck and get to the end of this perplexing series about little weird dudes emerging from toilets.

And maybe this is slightly worth checking out for cult fans, because Ghoulies IV was directed by the legendary Jim Wynorski — he of Chopping Mall, Deathstalker II, and Return of Swamp Thing. Just as with Albert Pyun or Anthony Hickox, I’ll see anything he made, as long as it was before the year 2000.

I doubt that anyone can regale you with the narrative twists and turns of this series, other than vaguely knowing that these pint-sized terrors stop at a carnival in the second film on their way to college in the third. But what’s kind of wild about Ghoulies IV is that it’s the first (and final) true sequel to the original. That’s because it catches up with Jonathan Graves (Peter Laipis), the accidental black magic wizard who called the ghoulies in the first place.

As you might expect from his sordid past, Graves is now a sassy, play-by-his-own-rules boozy detective living in a town of slapstick weirdos. Oh, it doesn’t take long to realize that this movie takes nothing and nobody seriously. This is live-action cartoonery at its most eye-rolling, and call me strange, but I dig it. C’mon, this is a series about toilet monsters. It’s best to simply lean into that sort of thing and see if you can’t get some laughs instead of shrieks.

Graves’ past catches up to him when former girlfriend-slash-ninja assassin Alexandra (Stacie Randall, Trancers 5) messes up a dark ritual of her own and accidentally summons two wisecracking ghoulies (one of whom is Tony Cox), who go enjoy their own aimless journeys for a while. These ghoulies are obviously dwarves with stiff rubber masks that don’t move, but I enjoyed watching their random escapades, which include helping a mugged prostitute, scaring the crud out of a janitor, and being mild menaces in Graves’ apartment.

Meanwhile, Alexandra needs the occultist stone necklace that Graces is wearing, and she’ll snap a small army of necks to get it. She’s absolutely insane, giving off that Harley Quinn vibe as she goes on her robbery/murder spree in an outfit that would get you tossed out of most establishments and hired in the first.

If he’s going to survive to the end credits, then Graves will need to embrace his magical past and reclaim his mystical powers. If that means he’s got to exchange his gun for zapping people with bolts of light from his hand, then that’s what he’s got to do. He also makes nice with his captain (and former lover/partner), with whom he shares some pretty strong chemistry. They’re pretty funny as they bounce off each other.

Ghoulies IV isn’t classic literature. Heck, it’s not airport shopping kiosk paperbacks. But it could compete with cereal box literature for entertainment value. Good enough to look at if your eyes don’t have anything else in their line of sight. Exaggerated characters, wild situations, and plenty of corny one-liners kept this lively as it breezed from start to finish. Consider me bemused by the antics of this unapologetic B-movie.

Intermission!

  • Jim Wynorski’s got this connected cinematic universe going on between his movies. This includes Hockstedter Mental Hospital (Sorority House Massacre II, Hard To Die) and Dr. Rochelle (Not of This Earth, The Return of Swamp Thing).
  • This movie literally starts with a bang
  • Cat burglary is just an excuse to wear insanely revealing leather outfits
  • NINJA STAR TO SECURITY GUY’S HEAD
  • And now a satanic ritual to exchange four corpses for a hooded dude right from Comic Con
  • The theme song is oddly cheery
  • Police detectives don’t appreciate when their partner pulls a gun on them after napping
  • Haha the goofy waving between cops
  • It’s ridiculously easy for a slim girl to break a guy’s neck who is twice her size
  • The Honeymooners reference, if you get it
  • Detectives can take the radios out of their car if they wanna
  • “You can barely speak English, how do you know an ancient language?”
  • The crazies have taken over the mental hospital
  • The Ghoulie calling “shotgun” is literal
  • She blows up so well in that car that we have to see that explosion three times in a row
  • Alexandra loves tasting blood. It’s her calling card.
  • And now Graves has magic hand-blasting powers
  • “Playpen” magazine?
  • I love the captain repeatedly slapping Graves to wake him up
  • Purse gun!
  • “I could have you arrested.” “What, for being hotter in bed than you?”
  • “Ease up Dirty Harriet.”
  • Random roof condom, ew
  • “Light’s out, Bongo.”
  • “This will be the last breath she ever takes!” she says twice with long pauses between them as the girl keeps breathing
  • She’s defeated by mincing backward into a special effect

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