“I’m no lady. I’M A DUCK!”

Justin’s rating: I mean, can we all agree that “D2” was a shameless riff on “T2,” considering the time period? Let’s also not forget that “ID4” was also produced not long after.

Justin’s review: The Mighty Ducks holds a strange little place in my personal history, as it was one of the handful of movies that I’d put on repeat at the supermarket video store TVs when I worked there as a teen (we were instructed not to show anything above PG, so the pickings were slim of you wanted something entertaining that wasn’t an animated flick). Yet I’ve never seen the sequels, mostly because I felt I was too old for these by the time I was getting ready to head off to college.

Now I’m far older and not ashamed to go back to a fun Disney sports franchise back when Disney made fun sports movies. If only younger me could meet older me, we’d have a lot to discuss.

If sequels are already hard enough to pull off, think about how even more difficult sports sequels are. You just had everyone victorious and happy and completing their character arcs in the first movie, so there’s only one option — and it’s the same story option that every sports flick takes. Knock everyone all the way back down, have them forget their lessons, make the lead character a bit of a jerk for some reason, and get everyone back together for a climb back to victory. That’s it. That’s the only playbook sports sequels have if they retain the main cast and setting.

After a run in the minors that ends in a leg-ruining disaster, Gordon Bombay (Emilio Estevez, growing comfortable with the fact that this is his life now) returns to his hometown for a good sulk. But it’s not too long before he gets the offer to coach the Ducks in the Junior Goodwill Games. And because this was only two years after the first film, the kids are still young enough to rollerblade right into their old roles.

It’s good to see so many of the original cast return, and they’re augmented by five new faces who all do a great job fitting into the gang (and then a sixth with Kenan Thompson). This series rests on the exuberance of these kids, who have their one Police Academy-like trait and play it to the hilt. Sarcasm, slapstick, and silliness ensues as they train up for their big grudge match against USA’s greatest historical enemy…

Iceland.

Oh Iceland, always with your intimidating vowels and black sand and fermented shark cuisine. Always thinking you’re better than a ragtag group of Ducks! Actually, you probably ferment and eat ducks too, especially because your coach has slicked-back European hair, a sign of an irredeemable jerk.

OK, Iceland might be an odd pick as a movie enemy, but at least it’s novel and nobody’s getting that worked up about it.

If D2: The Mighty Ducks has one overriding mission, it’s to care bear shine a whole lot of fun into our faces. These kids have great chemistry together, and the movie heavily employs music montages to show off their zany interactions as they practice and play together. They also get a tutor — Kathryn Erbe, What About Bob? — who replaces the not-at-all-seen-here Charlie’s mom as Gordon’s love interest.

The combination of (kids) humor, bombay-stic music, and the energetic pace of hockey games reminded me of why I loved the first film so much. The team has to contend with growing together in order to overcome the apocalyptic threat of Iceland and its volcanos lurking in the wing.

D2 features greater stakes and scope than the first movie with a bigger ensemble cast, and it doesn’t take long to get into the action at all. While it does walk through the expected beats, I deeply appreciated that it didn’t spend long wallowing in the failures before getting back up to have a great time.

If you are a stickler for hockey accuracy, you may want to watch most of the last act with your eyes closed and your ears plugged, because D2 takes liberties with the sport. And by that, I mean that it acts like Bugs Bunny rewriting the laws of physics to suit his need.

I was surprised — not affronted, but surprised — to read that so many people consider D2 is actually better than the first. Whether or not you agree, that’s a good sign that Disney did right by this follow-up. It’s a heap of ’90s nostalgia and spirited vibes, and I wasn’t upset in the least to get off the bench for this follow-up.

Intermission!

• Joshua Jackson is soooo young in these films
• “He’s doing good work with baboon ligaments.”
• The sacred duck call
• Rollerblading through a packed mall — this was the ’90s for sure
• “That guy’s a teenager?” “Ah yeah, hormones.”
• “GOLDBERG!”
• How many potential love interests is this movie going to wing at Gordon?
• This party is a sports cameo paradise
• Boys love to go watch models try on outfits
• The flying V!
• Iceland is so mean that they… they… POP BEACH BALLS
• All bad guys sweep the leg
• You can lasso players during a professional game
• “And when everyone says it can’t be done, ducks fly together.”
• Eh just go ahead and change your uniforms in the middle of a game