“Hey, I’m in shape! I’m working out… teaching seminars.”

Drake’s rating: Well, it’s less violent than free doughnut day in the Mutant Lunch Room

Drake’s review: We all knew this was going to happen, right? After all, Bloodfist had, on a very small budget, made a profit in the theaters and then turned around a few months later and made even more money from VHS rentals and sales. So there was absolutely no way that Roger Corman was going to refrain from pushing out a sequel the following year.

Although I’m not sure that even the legendary schlockmeister himself would have foreseen his little martial arts film spawning not just one or two, but seven sequels. But we’ll get to those in due time. Most likely when the dreaded Mutant Reviews deadline is hanging over my head.

Unfortunately, none of these sequels were directed by Bloodfist’s Terence H. Winkless, so any and all jokes that I may have been saving based on his past work as a Banana Split are even now sitting in my recycle bin. Which I’m sure is very appreciated by Mr. Winkless.

So, bereft of Winkless, the first sequel of the Bloodfist franchise is now in the capable hands of Andy Blumenthal, who had worked second-unit on a few small flicks before taking the reins here and then seemingly disappearing from the annals of filmdom. And he didn’t even leave a gorilla suit behind.

Still, I’ve seen worse directorial debuts. While there’s nothing particularly inventive or original about Bloodfist II, neither does Blumenthal try to get overly complicated with what is a very simple plot. He seems content to let the camera follow around returning star Don “The Dragon” Wilson, which is a pretty good call since Wilson is once again surrounded by several martial arts experts who have little to no acting experience.

Hey, that worked for Bloodfist, right?

So after the events of the first movie, Jake Raye (Wilson) is back to professional kickboxing once again. But in defending his title, Jake accidentally kills his opponent with a kick to the throat. Angry, he throws away the title and vows never to compete again.

Two years later, Jake gets a call from his friend and former manager who needs his help in Manila. Now considering all that happened the last time he was in the Philippines, it would be totally understandable for Jake to blow off his friend, go back to bed and pretend the phone call never happened. But, nice guy that he is, Jake instead hops onto the next plane out and within minutes of landing finds himself once again fighting in a dusty alley.

And if that doesn’t alert Jake to the fact that he’s once again headed for an illegal, no-holds-barred martial arts tournament, then I don’t know what would. Because let’s face it, we’ve all seen this movie before, but Jake has lived it before.

Still, Jake isn’t a quitter. He befriends some other karate types at the local gym, fights some more, gets chased through the streets of Manila, and finally gets drugged and kidnapped. Then he gets shipped off on a boat with all the other fighters, who have been similarly captured, to the requisite secret island where the requisite evil guy holds the requisite martial arts fights for all of his madly cheering guests.

So I think it’s kind of like the UFC, except with more kidnapping.

The fighters here don’t make it easy, though, and during a dockside brawl Jake manages to escape into the island’s wilderness. And, sure, he could probably grab a boat and sail his way out of there, but once again that nice guy gene kicks in and Jake instead decides to stick around and try to free his newfound friends. Which is pretty cool since he’s known these guys for maybe 12 hours.

But you can’t have an illegal fighting tournament if all of the fighters decide to play hooky, so Jake gets nabbed once more and he and his karate pals have to square off against the evil guy’s martial arts masters, which is a tad unfair since the latter have been happily dosing up on unnamed but potent performance-enhancing drugs.

Bloodfist II is a pretty decent entry into the low-budget karate flick genre, thanks especially to a quickly-improving Don Wilson. He seems to be more comfortable in front of the camera this time around, and his martial arts feel more cinematic as well. The surrounding cast is fine if unmemorable, but it’s Wilson’s charisma that carries the movie.

I wouldn’t go in to this one expecting too much, but it is an improvement over the first film and it has me curious what the next installment will bring. I mean, sure, it’ll probably be yet another illegal martial arts tournament, but what can you do? Those just never get old.

Intermission!

• Wow, his opponent is a mess. I think Jake’s winning.
• Yeah, a kick to the throat will end most fights.
• Quite the exciting ride through Manila. I’m not sure Jake’s going to be a big tipper after that.
• Attacked by soccer hooligans.
• “What? You idiot! I don’t want to hear excuses!” This is also what Justin says when I’m late with a Mutant Review.
• The fighters are all taken to a remote island to fight in a tournament.
• Which is a surprise because that NEVER happens in these movies!
• Eye gouge followed by groin punch. That’s also a fight ender.
• Turns out that sawed-off pump shotgun beats karate every time.
• The karate guys are free! Karate revenge time!
• I think he fired that revolver eight times.
• That briefcase is definitely not bulletproof.
• A kick to the neck is becoming Jake’s finishing move.
• All the bad karate guys are dead, so the good karate guys have won. That’s just the way it is with these flicks.