“Well, you can tell the committee to stick it where the sun don’t shine.”

Drake’s rating: Oh, Cannon, I just can’t quit you

Drake’s review: When I’m wrong, I’m wrong. And it happens often enough that I should be used to it by now, but this time around it involves movie trivia, a thing that I, as a certified Mutant Reviewer, should really know backwards and forwards. But in the last Mutant Podcast, which was focused on the late and much lamented Cannon Films, I name dropped George Clinton as a score composer for Cannon, and had assumed for some time that it was, y’know THE George Clinton. I knew he was producing music at the time, and had in fact been involved with television as the theme song writer for Tracy Ullman.

Which is all great, but he was NOT in fact composing for Cannon. That was the OTHER George Clinton, in this case George S. Clinton, an award-winning composer whose work goes back to the Cheech and Chong movies of the 1970’s, and who later scored the Austin Powers films among other things. With those “other things” of course including some work for Cannon. So, my apologies to both Mr. Clintons for the mix-up, and I’m sure they would be happy to know that I’ve been banished from the Mutant Offices once again, and am now forced to type away in the dingy Mutant Basement with my only company being the several Mutant Mice who keep looking at me like I’m just a big wedge of government cheese.

But, to inartfully segue from my rather moronic case of mistaken identity to the matter at hand, George S. Clinton composed the score for my latest Cannon viewing, a grimy little flick called Avenging Force. Originally intended to be a direct sequel to the Cannon’s Chuck Norris explosion-fest Invasion U.S.A., Avenging Force sees the character of Matt Hunter de-age by a couple of decades, get a shave, and turn into Michael Dudikoff.

He also gets retconned into a former Secret Service agent instead of a former CIA agent. Maybe because the screenwriter was stuck in a dark basement and couldn’t read his script notes.

The change in casting brings some positive energy to Avenging Force, however. Although Dudikoff had his limitations as an actor, he still gives Hunter some spark and keeps the film rolling along at a nice clip. And it doesn’t hurt that this film gives him both his American Ninja director, Sam Firstenberg, as well as his co-star from that flick as well. That’s right, the great Steve James is on hand to help Dudikoff’s Hunter take on some truly icky, creepy extremists who call themselves the Pentangle.

So what’s the Pentangle’s deal? Well, they’re a band of five wealthy racists who decide that hunting people through the Louisiana swamps is a fun way to spend a weekend. They also take particular exception to Larry Richards (James) running for a Senate seat and target his whole family.

And part of why this movie is so unpleasant is the fact that the Pentangle are just so incredibly despicable while at the same time being portrayed as semi-cartoonish. For example, they each dress up in different costumes during their hunts, making them feel like refugees from a low-budget rip-off of The Running Man.* But the seriousness of the Pentangle’s words and actions is undercut by their often ridiculous appearances, which results in the movie having one foot in far-fetched action movie fare and the other stuck in some rather disagreeable muck.

And that’s too bad, because the action here is very good, filled with effective fight choreography, great car stunts and those sweet, sweet explosions that Cannon loved so much. There’s a fun movie here, but it’s buried underneath so much cinematic sludge that it’s hard to get much of a glimpse of it. I wouldn’t say it’s bad so much as off-putting, almost like Cannon took American Ninja and then threw it into a blender with one of their many Death Wish flicks.

Honestly, Avenging Force is a pretty strong movie for Dudikoff, but just be aware that you might feel like you need a shower after watching it, and not just because half of this movie’s runtime is spent in a swamp.

*Granted, a full year before that movie premiered.

Intermission!

• Matt’s a cowboy! Yeehaw!
• Matt’s spider sense is tingling…
• Oof. Double-squibbed. You don’t come back from being double-squibbed.
• And now Matt is shimmying up a pole.
• Now it’s time for some avenging, applied forcefully.
• Car chases in those big ‘80s four-door sedans are unintentionally hilarious.
• Matt swinging down on a cable line to kick a bad guy. OK, this movie is really an extended Spider-Man test reel.
• Gunfights on ships are fun. Lots of things for bullets to ping off of.
• Steve James takes his shirt off. The bad guys are in for it now!
• Failure was not an option. I guess the Pentangle is now the Rectangle.
• Explosions and fire stunts! Oh, Cannon, you know me so well.
• Man, they kill everyone in this flick.
• Matt’s going to keep on fighting against the Pentangle. Off-screen, though, since this was the character’s final appearance.