South Park: Bigger, Longer, and Uncut (1999) — Never admit you saw this

“That movie has warped my fragile little mind.”

Kyle’s rating: Cheese pizza + vodka + animated profanity-laden musical = Canadian Kafka dreamin’!

Kyle’s review: If you are not a fan of South Park the television show, abandon all hope of ye entering. I’m sure some South Park newbies just might possibly enjoy South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut, but since you need a healthy amount of background on the characters and the shenanigans that go down daily in the Colorado mountain town of South Park to really “get” some of the jokes, your viewing experience will be flawed if you haven’t enjoyed the Comedy Central show on occasion. Hey, don’t blame me, I didn’t make the movie!

If you are a fan of the show, welcome home. We don’t get any new character developments or anything (though we see Kenny’s face, yea!), but we do get a s**tload of musical numbers and some brilliant satire on the state of modern parenting, race relations, and good vs. evil. No, we really do! This movie can really make you think about life and stuff, and while it keeps the more enlightened thoroughly entertained it uses frequent profanity to amuse the dumber audience member.

I would say that this is more of a musical than a normal film, and that is one of its strengths. I don’t believe I’ve ever heard a musical where half the lyrical oomph is found in the use of the word “f**k,” but every song is great! I had to rush out and buy the soundtrack the next day, because every song is a gem. Trey Parker, who wrote most of the songs, is a genius! Now I have to hum and think when I’m in tight situations: what would Brain Boitano do?

The film itself? Uh, Cartman, Stan, Kenny and Kyle get “corrupted” by the foul language and severe situations of the new Terrance and Phillip movie, so the parents of South Park unite America against Canada! But if Terrance and Phillip are killed on American soil, Satan will rise and rule us all! And who’s that behind Satan? Why, it’s Saddam Hussein, what is he doing here? You’ll find out, and don’t fret, Satan and Saddam both get their own musical numbers. Oh, and Kenny dies. Dammit!

If you can’t handle constant profanity or some ribbing on the Baldwin family and what really greets us in Heaven, among other things, DO NOT SEE SOUTH PARK: BIGGER, LONGER & UNCUT! If you can handle that stuff and love South Park and/or a great musical, SEE SOUTH PARK: BIGGER, LONGER & UNCUT NOW! If you are Canadian, DON’T THINK YOU’RE OFF THE HOOK YET! Unless you are William Shatner, who rules. Keep on truckin’, William Shatner!

Toni’s rating: X out of X dead Baldwins, X being equal to the number of Baldwins in the world today.

Toni’s review: Alright, there’s not a whole lot I can say here. If you hate TV’s South Park, you’re gonna detest this no matter what I say. If you’re a South Park fan, then you’ve already seen the movie and you’re only here to laugh with us. Operation Human Shield. Heh. Winona Ryder’s ping pong ball trick. Double heh. And all the Canadian stuff just touched my soul, it really did.

So personally, I loved the movie, I’ve watched it several times, I’ve rewound several parts, and I hope against hope that it wins that Oscar for best song. But I can’t make you like it. So instead, I’d like to use this space to talk to those South Park fans out there and beg them to go rent Orgazmo right this minute. Rent it again if you’ve already seen it. It’s another movie by Matt n’ Trey and oh dear god is it funny. And blindingly offensive!

PoolMan’s rating: You’ll laugh until you stop! (which will be a while)

PoolMan’s review: Now THIS is what I’m talking about! Okay, okay, the Mutant Reviewers From Canada didn’t go over too well, but that’s only because I didn’t have a crack army of flappy-headed Canadian soldiers dressed in Bond-enemy-grays making heavy bombing runs over Justin’s house. But just you wait…

South Park was a load of fun. Simple as that. My faith is renewed in the musical, too! It’s really wierd — I haven’t enjoyed a musical movie that much since The Great Muppet Caper as a kid (which I still love). Of course, Terrance and Philip singing “Unclef**ker” is a little different that Kermit the Frog singing “It’s Not Easy Being Green”, but you get the idea. All the songs were a blast to listen to, even if they do move a little to fast to comprehend at times.

And that’s about it! I came, I laughed, I sang along to “Kyle’s Mom is a Bitch”, and cheered Kenny making it into Heaven! If you like South Park, you’ll love this for just having more of the same, and then some.

Clare’s rating: Just remember what the MPAA says: Horrific, deplorable violence is okay, as long as people don’t say any naughty words!

Clare’s review: It appears that there really are two kinds of people in the world: Those who think Trey Parker and Matt Stone are borderline retarded, socially unacceptable miscreants who are getting rich peddling lewd and lascivious tripe to our nation’s children, and those who think Trey Parker and Matt Stone are geniuses who know just how to cut to the quick of societies long-held biases, idiocy, and hatred and poke fun at it with a blistering and hysterical mixture of in your face sarcasm and sneak up on you from behind intelligence and wit. (Yes, it’s official. That’s the longest sentence you’ve ever read.)

I happen to fall squarely into the latter category and, although not a HUGE fan of the ½ hour weekly show on Comedy Central, I absolutely loved South Park: Bigger, Longer, and Uncut. I wouldn’t bring anyone younger than 15 with me to see it, but if you’re at least 15 and posses even a modicum of intelligence, it’s pretty obvious that this movie, although filled with “offensive” language, imagery and characterizations, is both blisteringly funny and strangely intellectual. The issue of censorship in an era of fascist political correctness is challenged head on, but that happens in between dick jokes, boob jokes, butt jokes, fart jokes and gay jokes. Wait, I guess it happens DURING those jokes actually.

I think that people get thrown by the fact that the movie is animated and because we live in a Disney saturated universe therefore think that it’s supposed to be harmless, dumb and boring and pander to the lowest common denominator (sorry, I’m not a big Disney fan). This movie is sharp, engaging, thought provoking and utterly, brilliantly funny. Only a few minutes into South Park I was laughing so hard I was crying, and I didn’t stop laugh/crying until the very end, and even then I walked around for a couple of days afterwards still laughing just remembering some of the things I’d seen and heard. Some of the jokes are funny because they’re shocking, some are funny because they’re so biting and some are funny because, damn it, they’re just really funny.

In addition the social commentary, this movie has some really surprisingly good musical numbers. I guess it shouldn’t really be all THAT surprising since Trey Parker was a music major in college and has in his past films (specifically Cannibal: The Musical) come up with some good strong songs to support his stories. I generally think musicals are pretty useless as an art form, but after seeing this flick I really developed a new respect for how they can be done and done well.

I understand that the content and subject matter of this film isn’t for everyone, but I would say that most rational people who have a healthy appreciation for foul language and juvenile behavior will at least get a laugh or two from the proceedings here. I personally think it’s one of the funniest movies ever made. My respect level for Trey Parker and Matt Stone skyrocketed after seeing this film and since then I’ve been sure to pay attention to everything else they’ve been up to. Viva la revolution!!

Lissa’s rating: So many jokes at Poolman’s expense, so little time…

Lissa’s review: Okay, so I’m the fifth Mutant to review this since its release, and every single Mutant above me has said see this movie. I concur. I am not a real South Park fan. I don’t think it should be tossed off TV or anything, but the humor tends to be a bit too crude for me and crosses over the “offensive but funny” to “just plain offensive and stupid” territory. My opinion and, unlike Kyle’s mom, I have no intention of starting a crusade. However, South Park BLU only does that twice, and those two times are not nearly enough to take away from the brilliant and catchy songs, the witty political references, and all that. Good movie, and go see it.

So why am I bothering to write a review? Good question.

We watched South Park again last night. I haven’t seen it in years, despite the fact the DVD has been right there on our shelves. And let me tell you, it’s a very different experience from when I watched it in theaters.

I’m writing this review on May 22, 2004. The U.S. is deeply involved in their war with Iraq, and it’s only a week after the videotaped beheading shook our country. We’re also buried deeply in the prison scandal, and Saddam Hussein is in captivity. Now watch Terrance and Philip be executed as prisoners of war, to send a message to the potty-mouths of Canada. Or the anti-Canadian rhetoric. Although this movie was made long before the war with Iraq, it fits way too well into today’s political climate. It was impossible not to watch South Park: BLU this time around and not think “what would they have done if this film was made today?” There are just too many opportunities, too many openings, too many new musicals to lampoon.

This is not to say that South Park: BLU has suddenly become deep, meaningful, and something to be revered on par with The Passion of the Christ or something like that. Nope. Still really funny. Just more relevant. And I’ve got to commend Matt Stone and Trey Parker for that, even if they didn’t intend it. I think that’s a sign of truly good political satire, when the observations made still stand up and are funny a few years later. Either that or it’s a sign of a government that doesn’t learn from its mistakes, but that’s really depressing and we’ll skip that.

So even if you’ve seen it a hundred times and can quote it by heart, give South Park: BLU another look. If just having heard the words “Blame Canada!” haven’t already gotten you digging for your soundtrack again, that is.

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