“Well, this confirms my first guess. The only answer is to blast that thing out of the sky.”

ZombieDog’s rating: Perfect for B-movie party with family and friends

ZombieDog’s review: B-movies are great because they are ubiquitous across multiple platforms. Midnight movies, drive-in movies, late night cable, Bargain Bin $1 DVDs. All of these can be a source, but none of them are the experience. The true experience of a B-movie should be in a group of people preferably in a party-type situation.

This B-movie makes one request of the viewer more than any other movie, which is to “suspend disbelief.” If you’re capable of doing that then you are truly on the path for a wonderful and joyous experience the likes of which are rare in our society.

The Green Slime is one of those B-movies that defines B-movies. The acting is delightfully over-the-top. It is unabashedly sexist in that it comes from a time when men were men and women made sandwiches. To be fair though, the main female character is a medical doctor. There is a lot of masculinity going on here, but it never gets so bad that it ruins the movie. The special effects (the true star of the film) are cheap. extremely cheap. So cheap in fact, I couldn’t find any references to budget or box office revenues. Don’t hold it against the film. If they spent any money at all it would have ruined the charm of the film.  Also, if you have the Blu-ray, it is fun to play spot the string.

This has some strong B-movie credits by being the first movie that Mystery Science Theater 3000 trashed in their pilot episode. Unfortunately, they only watched about 15 minutes of the movie and the rest was them introducing the characters for proof-of-concept. I consider this a true loss because I would have loved to see them do the complete movie.

The Green Slime opens on a space station orbiting Earth engaging in everyday activities which primarily includes observing Earth’s weather. An alert comes in about an inbound asteroid on a collision course with Earth, which sets into action the special team of scientists and crewmen who have formulated a solution that echoed Bruce Willis’ Armageddon (1998) before it was a thing. Their idea was to blow up the asteroid.

We get a glorious spaceship traveling to the asteroid with smoke floating upwards, sparks falling downwards and visible strings. Things go exactly as planned with planting the explosives except something has attached itself to one of the astronauts spacesuits.

After a dramatic escape from the exploding asteroid, the astronauts are greeted with cheers and congratulations along with flowing champagne. In the background we see nameless workers doing their everyday tasks, one of which is cleaning the spacesuit with some apparently harmless green slime on it. The green slime mixed with the cleaning process somehow creates intelligent giant monsters hell-bent on destroying any humans they encounter.

This is really all you need to know about the plot. The movie is a humans-versus-aliens showdown that is nothing more than an escapade of violence and mayhem. To be fair the aliens, if you can call them that, are fairly scary. They have an incredible lethal weapon at their fingertips where they can instantly kill anybody they touch. Which of course they mean to directly go to where the helpless and injured people are being treated in the medical unit. The spectacle of the aliens heading directly for the most vulnerable members of the crew truly sets the tone for the movie.

Surprisingly for a “G” rated movie there is plenty of violence and death. The aliens are unusually relentless in their pursuit and attacking of the humans. We have no inclination of their motive and the only motive attributed to humans is defending themselves. This is not a movie filled with deep metaphors. This is an out-and-out rampage of alien (green slime) carnage!

The love of B-movies can be a very lonely love. Finding people to share the joy of that certain film can sometimes be impossible. At times it can even be a reality check of how different you really are. There’s nothing wrong with being different of course, but sometimes it would be nice to find a kindred soul. Whenever I write a review of a movie, I always watch it again just so it’s fresh in my mind and can better reflect my current point of view.

I gave my niece a brief description of the Green Slime and strangely enough she seemed interested. I sent her the trailer which was enough to further that interest. What really surprised me was at dinner she asked if we could watch it tonight. I was amazed. In a Tik Tok YouTube world, finding somebody from a younger generation to sit down with you and watch a fifty-year-old movie is almost impossible. When the movie started and the beyond awesome theme song kicked in, she was instantly hooked. A new B-movie memory successfully created!

If you love B-movies or are just getting into them then this movie is an absolute must. It encapsulates the true spirit of the B-movie. There is one serious requirement and that is that you have to turn off your logical mind.

Quick recommendations:

• The Wild, Wild Planet (1966)
• War Between the Planets (1966)
• Thunderbirds Are Go (1966)