“Have a mental margarita.”
DnaError’s rating: Great Gratuitous Goofiness Batman!
DnaError’s review: After coming under attack by SOMEONE (who shall remain nameless, *cough*justin*cough*) who said I’m not reviewing enough cult movies, I humbly submit my review of the infectiously silly, colorfully goofy sci-fi/musical/comedy Earth Girls Are Easy.
This movie asks the important and earth-shattering question that philosophers have been asking your years: What would aliens do if they crashed on Earth? This movie answers with “PA-A-A-A-ARTY!” Cult classic is written all over this movie with a bright pink marker, delivering everything a good Mutant movie should have: a nonsense plot, Geena Davis in very little clothing, fuzzy colorful aliens, and Julie Brown singing “Cause I’m a Blonde” (one of a select few musical numbers I can stand).
Julie Brown is the real reason this movie is as funny as it is. Anyone who remembers her as the female Weird Al on the Dr. Demento show knows that she is great at wacky, silly songs like “The Homecoming queen has a gun” and “Will I make through the 80s?” She’s not the main character, but rather a side character, the wacky, Cyndi Lauper-like hairstylist Candy who works at “Curl Up and Dye.” She’s a totally tasteless party-hardying to Geena Davis’s sweet-innocent yang. (Whew, I should get an award for most hyphens in one paragraph.)
Unfortunately, some parts of this movie don’t have Julie Brown in them. (That should be illegal, all movies should have her in them all the time!) Those parts mostly deal with a perpetually perky Valley Girl Geena Davis having to deal with a crash-landed alien ship in her swimming pool and the brightly colored, fuzzy aliens that came with it. While not as funny as the rest of the movie, the three aliens deliver some hearty laughs, despite the fact that one of the them is Jim Carrey and the other is a Wayans brother.
So, what does this movie teach us? That Julie Brown is funny. Geena Davis has no shame. And it is possible to make a “musical” that has only two songs in it. The movie reveals in its lack of taste, ’80s style (a lot of pink cars and big, planet-consuming hair), and it’s sheer sense of fun, mostly in its tacky but hard-to-ignore fun musical numbers. The movie loses steam near the final half-hour, like most sillytainment movies do, but before that it’s a light, bubbly little piece of fun. Think of it as UHF-lite.
Heather’s rating: Earth girls (Earth girls!) are easy (are easy!)! Whatcha wanna do, little buckaroo, come ooooon!
Heather’s review: My method for picking movies is pretty off-kilter. Your average person picks something featuring one’s favorite actor/actress, something from a preferred genre, or something that looks good or was recommended by a friend.
Many times I’ll watch a movie, good or bad, based purely upon it being referenced in pop culture. I’m the kind of person who wants to “get” every reference made in every movie, TV show, book, and song that I like. I might never have paid Earth Girls Are Easy any mind if it hadn’t been for the film’s inclusion in the lyrics of one of my favorite songs off of the Cowboy Bebop soundtrack. When I first heard the song I barely knew that movie existed. Once I ran across it on (say it with me) Netflix! I decided I had to see it.
That being the case, I couldn’t have expected this movie to be a Citizen Kane or Mr. Hollands Opus, and it certainly wasn’t.
I want to preface the meat of this review with a little marinade, if you will (Oooh, that was a bad metaphor. Sorry). While I love goofiness when goofiness is the intention, I do NOT tolerate goofiness in the form of fifth grade humor and slapstick (read: most Will Ferrell films). I can appreciate a film like Earth Girls Are Easy while simultaneously being miffed at Pale Rider, simply because of one very important difference: a film trying to be silly is laughable in a good way. A film taking itself so seriously that it becomes silly is laughable in a bad way.
Now when I say I appreciate EGAE, I’m not saying that it’s a good movie. It’s got a few major hits against it: A silly, sex-centered plot, the inclusion of a Wayans brother… but it manages a charm that actually makes you want to watch the goofball story, bright colors and ridiculous musical numbers. Said musical numbers only add up to a blessedly small amount (around three) and make this movie an even better choice as the background for your ’80s-themed party. All of your guests will be singing along with “‘Cause I’m a Blonde.” If they don’t then throw them out immediately, lest their sourpussness infect you.
EGAE’s plot is the kind of thing people were only putting out in the eighties: Mac (Goldblum), Wiploc (Carrey), and Zeebo (Wayans), a trio of furry and colorful sexually frustrated aliens, crash land into a pool belonging to a cute, naive Earth girl named Valerie (Davis). She shows them around and has her friend give them makeovers to make them look human. All the better for them to go out and par-tay! Wackiness and abominations against nature ensue. There’s plenty of garish clothing and hair, your standard dance-off scene, and the kind of sexual situations that would make a professional uncomfortable.
On that note, am I alone in the feeling that Geena Davis and Jeff Goldblum were a perfect romantic couple in this movie in that they are both inexplicably attractive? Geena Davis at times has a very old Hollywood kind of beauty, and at the right times is quite good-looking. At the same time she has this weird lisp-like quality to her voice and her face tends to look like a misshapen Cabbage Patch doll. I applaud that kind of versatility. Jeff Goldblum’s sex appeal, on the other hand, is more difficult for me to come to terms with. His silky voice, his Jame Bond-like charm, and not at all unpleasant body are definite turn-ons. And yet I know of hardly a picture of him where he doesn’t look like a cross between a lemur and an elf. I always feel kind of wrong inside for finding him attractive, especially in his shirtless “hey look I’m a sexy, nearly hairless human now!” scene.
Ack, movie! Why must you confuse me so?
- Could be I just have a dirty mind, but that’s some awfully phallic landing gear.
- “Dr. Love” needs to pay a visit to “Dr. Gym” to get rid of those spindly chicken legs.
- Geena Davis was horrendously skinny here! Somebody help me: Is it really attractive to be able to view a woman’s first five ribs in such horrific detail?