Six weird movie Santas

Not all movie Santas are alike — or even all that good. Here are six Jolly Saint Nicks who have been cut off from the family tree:

Bad Santa

From our review: “His life consists of getting a job as a department store Santa every December, with his partner Marcus (Tony Cox) as an elf, learning all he can about the mall security system, and on Christmas Eve, robbing the place blind.”

Santa’s Slay

From our review: “So as fundamentalist religious groups have shouted all along, Santa Claus is Satan. Satan’s son, specifically. Yes it seems that long ago Satan did spawn and December 25th was his progeny’s day to wreak havoc on the earth, called the Day of Slayings.”

A Christmas Story

From our review: “Oh, and be sure to keep your eyes out for the drunken Santa. So very much of this movie SHOULD be offensive, and yet it just never seems to be. A neat trick that seems to be relegated to The Eighties (cue heavenly choir).”

How the Grinch Stole Christmas

From our review: “I’m not a Carrey fan — I think he’s obnoxious, at least when he’s playing a character who’s noxious. But in this role he had fun, and yet kept it in check, a fine line to walk, and not once did he wreck.”

The Nightmare Before Christmas

From our review: “Jack is not truly content with his role of… um… inspirational speaking is about all I can come up with. Throwing the entire Halloweenland into chaos, Jack stumbles upon Christmasland and promptly takes it over.”

Santa Claus Conquers the Martians

From our review: “By far, though — and I mean by FAR — the most frigged-up player in our little theater of the mind-blowingly absurd is Santa himself. Aside from laughing uproariously at every single sentence spoken aloud by another character — and trust me, it’s a very creepy, ‘don’t leave small children alone with this cat’ kind of laugh — the poor guy’s just dumb as a post.”

One comment

  1. Fun Fact; The actor who portrays the Santa in A Christmas Story, previously appeared in the MST3K movie Wild Rebels as Fats the mentally impaired Nazi biker.

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