Saturday’s Six: Movie Roles That Will Haunt Actors Forever

1. Sylvester Stallone – “Stud” in Party at Kitty and Stud’s

Nobody can debate that Stallone’s had a stellar career — Rocky and Rambo foremost in his resume — but few people, us included, are willing to forget that his first major role was in a softcore porn.  Party at Kitty and Stud’s enjoyed a bit of post-Rocky resurgeance as they capitalized on Stallone’s newfound fame, and remains an ugly blot on his career.

2. John Travolta – “Terl” in Battlefield Earth and “Edna” in Hairspray

If nothing else, one would assume that both of these roles were tailor-made for parents to show to their children as punishment and a stern warning: “If you don’t shape up, this… could happen to YOU.”  Travolta in Hairspray is just all kinds of freaky wrong, while his love letter to Scientology turned him into the biggest tool on the planet.

3. Robin Williams in Patch Adams

Out of what was supposed to be a life-affirming, heart-warming tale of a doctor who eschews medical treatment for the wonderful power of laughter came a botched monstrosity of crude jokes, jarring contrasts and exceedingly dark tones.  None of this was to William’s credit.  If the above picture doesn’t creep you out, you are ready for military special forces training.

4. Arnold Schwartzenegger as “Mr. Freeze” in Batman and Robin

Not that this movie did any favors to the other actors who appeared in it, but Arnold took the brunt of the worst criticism, with his goofy getup and groan-worthy cold-related puns.  “ICE to meet you!” indeed.

5. Sofia Coppola as “Mary Corleone” in The Godfather Part III

There’s been a lot of defense erected to protect Sofia from her much-criticized role in the last Godfather film — she was brought in at the last minute, it was a case of nepotism, the film as a whole sucked, etc.  But no matter what, her performance became the public scapegoat for what was widely seen as a black mark on a classic franchise.

6. Elizabeth Berkley as “Nomi” in Showgirls

Berkley’s performance, which ranges between uncontrollable sobbing, scary-as-hell seduction and rabid mongoose mood changes, is so awful as to rend a hole in the world and pull us all, scrabbling and screaming, toward it.  When you come out of a theater honestly hating the main character so very much that a thousand deaths aren’t enough to sate your wrath, you know they’ve accomplished something special.

4 comments

  1. The scary part of all this… I remember when Showgirls was released at the theaters and 4 friends and I went 45 miles out of our way to see it in THX… Man were we young and stupid.

  2. Okay, whatever to most of this list, but … what’s up with ragging on Patch Adams? You’re “creeped out” by it, but, why? The kid is dying, and someone is there genuinely connecting with him.

    It’s only creepy if you can’t imagine that someone can show love and compassion without having some sort of sinister agenda behind it. As for the rest of it, it’s a beautiful movie, that has a wonderful ending that shows how our actions allow us to live in the hearts of those we affect, even after we die.

  3. For Stallone.. how about adding Rhinestone with Dolly Parton.

    It did win awards in 1984.. but they were Razzie awards.

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