“Just because somebody does something bad doesn’t make them a bad guy.”

Justin’s rating: That goatee is a ’90s crime in and of itself

Justin’s review: Robert Patrick’s iconic role as the merciless T-1000 in Terminator 2 must’ve been both a blessing and a curse for this actor. It definitely boosted his profile — he’d reprise the T-1000 in several cameos* after 1992 — but it also didn’t bump him into a Hollywood superstar range. He’d settle between heading up low-budget B-movies and taking side roles in more prominent flicks (not to mention seeing The X-Files to conclusion), but the T-1000 was his high-water mark, and he knew it. So when PM Entertainment cames calling to a B-list actor like Patrick, he knew well to answer that call and be grateful for a lead in a fun, dumb actioner like Zero Tolerance.

Jeff Douglas (Patrick) is an FBI agent who gets on the wrong side of a Mexican cartel called the White Hand when he cart-els their boss away to jail. Or tries to, at least, because the criminals escape — thank PM’s propensity for car explosions — and then come after Jeff with a vengeance. The big bad kidnaps and kills Jeff’s whole family, kids included, and then tries to strong-arm the agent into carrying a drug shipment across the border.

Instead, Jeff goes through about 30 seconds of the required movie moping before suiting up for action. He’s going to take the cartel out, including all five leaders, and will show them [puts on sunglasses] zero tolerance.

Yeah.

If Lethal Weapon and John Wick had a little B-movie sibling, it would be this movie. The Lethal Weapon movies knew the importance of establishing just how bad the bad guys are, and the John Wick series invested in proper motivation for a revenge spree — two factors this film embraces.

Zero Tolerance makes you absolutely loathe Manta and his goons so that you can’t wait to see vengeance punch them in the face. It plays this setup straight and serious, refusing to fall into schlock but giving us a hero we actually want to see succeed, even as the FBI abandons him.

While he doesn’t have liquid metal blades and perfect mimicry this time around, Jeff does have some chunky guns and no compunction to follow law enforcement procedure. He figures that a dead family gives him full license to blow up everything like this was Stage 2 of a 1980s run-and-gun arcade game.

Once he gets going at the half-hour mark, Jeff becomes an unstoppable killernator who works out his grief therapy with high caliber bullets. When people aren’t shooting, they’re exploding or crashing or burning or punching. Make no mistake, many stuntmen will die or at least become heavily mangled and draw workers comp. It’s the PM way, and it’s always glorious.

If you’re hungry for a high-octane action revenger that’s actually pretty well-made — if lacking in a deep plot — Zero Tolerance absolutely will deliver. The title may suggest this is generic trash, but Robert Patrick says otherwise — and so do I.

*Wayne’s World, Terminator 2 3-D, Hollywood Adventures, and Last Action Hero, not to mention a Terminator 2 video game

Intermission!

• Jeff’s wife in this film is played by Robert Patrick’s real wife Barbara
• Hey, it’s the Mighty Ducks… but it’s not the movie. Am disappointed.
• Robert Patrick looks so good in aviators, it’s a crime
• It’s not a PM Entertainment movie if there isn’t a shootout with car explosions before the 10th minute
• Wait, there IS a “Drug Dealing 101?”
• Some poor stuntman got set on fire and then flung about 30 feet in the air
• “You’re on vacation, pal.”
• Ah that wonderful trope of watching home movies of your dead family
• “Omar, tell us your best joke.”
• Carls Jr! Thanks, product placement, for making me hungry
• Neon sign vs. car
• Cars will always, always blow up if a single bullet hits them
• The FBI acts pretty gleeful over vigilantes among their ranks
• “Crazy Jeffy” is quite the silly nickname
• Little girl flying alone? Sheesh.
• How much Keeffe is in this movie? Miles O’Keeffe! The one and only Ator!
• Crashing through a wall in a flaming truck is one helluva entrance
• Lots of reloading in this movie, I kind of appreciate that
• Ladies and gentlemen, the longest rifle ever. It basically shoots fireballs.
• “Two down, three to go… you’re all gonna die.”
• Villains sometimes have heart-to-hearts in a kitchen while leaning casually against a counter
• Sometimes it’s great fun to drive through a helicopter. Yeah, through it.
• Are the bad guys running across a playground rope bridge? That’s cute.