“Nobody’s misunderstood. That’s just what people say when they don’t like who they are.”

ZombieDog’s rating: Better than you would think.

ZombieDog’s review: I feel fairly confident in saying that the ’80s produced some of the best high school and college movies ever made — and I kind of miss that. To be sure, they were raunchy sex comedies filled with drugs and kids crossing over the line, but that’s what made them fun. Unfortunately, they were replaced with a kind of ’50s-style feel-good parental-approved G-rated nonsense. High school was a brutal time; it’s when you start to figure out who you are. More than that though, it’s a gateway from adolescence to adulthood, and the movies should reflect that.

Assassination of a High School Principal flew under the radar with the cool neo-noir feel that should’ve gotten more respect than it did. High School Musical, which came out at roughly the same time, got a 7.1 from IMDb, compared with 6.2 for Assassination. To be fair, they’re not comparable even though the subject matter is roughly the same.

The movie takes place in a Catholic high school run by an ex-military principal (Bruce Willis). Willis is a take-no-shit type of leader and runs his school with an iron fist. From the beginning, we realize the student body isn’t what it appears. Yes, they are average students, but they are also young adults. We see deception, drug use, brutality, sexuality, and all the emotions that make up the young adult’s experience. That’s what makes this movie good. It instantly falls into this neo-noir shadow realm where all the students have to be taken seriously.

Assassination really takes off after a crime is committed, the theft of the SAT tests. Since these tests determine who will go to college and who won’t, the principal is instantly enraged and demands their return. And exactly like the Humphrey Bogart Sam Spade movies from the ’40s, the principal pulls all the usual suspects into his office for interrogation.

This is where we get to know our main character, Bobby Funke (Reese Thompson). Sticking with the pre-existing tropes, Bobby is a struggling reporter for the school newspaper trying to get a story. The newspaper’s editor is threatening to fire him if he doesn’t bring home the goods. This approach wonderfully pulls in adult-level situations while keeping our characters as adolescents. This doesn’t result in a crude story; it’s almost otherworldly in the way it sees these kids as conspiratorial, victims, corrupt, innocent, and all somehow guilty at the same time.

The cinematography is fine, nothing special, it’s getting it done. The soundtrack is awesome, although where the movie really shines is the storyline. Willis reminds us that he was an amazing actor. Like the students at his school, he is both as he is seen and not. He will slip into a story about military action in the Middle East and at the same time take offense to chewing gum. Later in a quiet moment we see him pull off a prosthetic leg. Telling us without telling us that, whoever he is, he has experienced tragedy and suffering.

This becomes a running theme throughout the film where we gradually learn more about the students and their backgrounds. It’s not The Breakfast Club, where the students share their deepest darkest secrets and somehow come out better on the other side. No, here we see their deepest darkest secrets, and we see how their life is going to be tormented by them.

Not to be outdone by Bruce Willis, Misha Barton (Francesca Fachini) embodies the role of femme fatale. Fresh off her role in The O.C, she owns this role. Without question she is beautiful, mysterious, and ultimately dangerous. And just to make my point extra clear if you haven’t seen it, watch the original 1941 Maltese Falcon. There’s something about the balance between beauty and danger that is just incredibly interesting and without effort explains why the trope is still alive and well.

Ultimately the real pull of Assassination of a High School Principal is the mystery of who stole the SATs. The crime does seem a little trivial compared to the weight that’s put upon it, although it’s more than enough to pull us through characters, their backgrounds, and their motivations. All is not well at St. Donovan’s, and the mystery’s reveal is definitely satisfying.

With so much being produced these days, it’s easy for something good to slip through the cracks. This movie is a perfect example. I don’t think I would call it a cult film, however because of its unique style, it has to hold a special place. If you liked Donnie Darko, then this film should appeal to you. Both have a dark vibe that at times can be uncomfortable yet continues to pull you forward. This movie is not a sugar sweet candy confection filled with positivity; it’s a dark and gritty reminder of what we could be making.