“Crows don’t squawk at night… unless they’re stirred.”

Justin’s rating: Always make sure you factor in a pee break into your films

Justin’s review: Have you ever noticed that whenever you come across a movie anthology, it’s almost always horror? Off the top of my head, the only film I can think of that’s not is Heavy Metal, and that was an anomaly in more ways than one. OK, and Pulp Fiction. And probably whatever you’re going to post in the comments. My point is, maybe it’s because horror thrives in the short form, stories told in a tent or around a bonfire when listeners are already primed to get to the scares.

As far as I can tell, Campfire Tales practically escaped notice in the late-90s teen horror craze despite a pretty strong cast that included Amy Smart, James Marsden, Christine Taylor, Christopher Masterson, Ron Livingston, and Glenn Quinn.

If you count the short intro segment as a tale, this 87-minute flick packs in five stories. The framework involves a group of friends who get stranded in the woods after a car crash. To pass the time waiting for help — this was before cell phones were standard fare, don’t forget — the foursome start telling scary stories in the ruins of an old church.

As might be expected from the setup, Campfire Tales leans on hoary old tropes and folklore. Unlike Urban Legends, which came out the next year, this film doesn’t do anything particularly clever or new with them; it simply tries to tell them as straight and creepily as possible.

So we get a couple making out whose car ends up with a hook-hand hanging off it, some creatures hunting humans in the woods, a home invasion by an online stalker, a mute farmgirl who meets a biker, and a twist ending that’s not too hard to see coming when it does. All of the tales have that cadence that builds and builds to that one wham moment — some more effective than others.

Campfire Tales was, believe it or not, made by a trio of directors fresh out of college, which is impressive considering the end product. This small ($2 million) budget flick was supposed to get a theatrical release in the post-Scream era, but the deal fell through and it went direct-to-video instead. Thus, it didn’t get that important leg-up that might’ve put this in the more well-known pantheon of ’90s teen horror, but it did gradually start to build an audience thanks to DVD and streaming releases over the years.

Think of this as a slightly scarier and slightly gorier version of Are You Afraid of the Dark? and Goosebumps, with each tale starting in cheerfulness while eventually dragging the viewer toward a not-happy-at-all ending. You know SOMETHING is coming, and perhaps you can even guess it if you’re familiar with the tale in question, but that doesn’t take away the their full effectiveness.

Campfire Tales forms a bridge between kiddy horror and full-blown adult slashers, and that puts it in a rather rare category. It’s not a mean movie, nor one that’s very original. Yet its straight-forward storytelling and pretty solid acting make this perfect for, say, a Halloween night with mixed ages and tastes. However, without a main cast and some innovation with these urban legends, it can’t do much more than “fine” no matter how gracious you are to it.

Intermission!

• That’s a big ol’ hook hand
• The woods and church ruins are some striking cinematography
• “I just had GREAT SEX!”
• When you pick up a jawbone, maybe it’s time to get out of there
• Oh, and don’t talk to serial killers on the internet
• Serial killers have an awful lot of patience hanging out in bushes like that
• Well at least she gets her bike
• “They say they’re still surfin’ the net looking for this guy.”
• You notice that it’s always “Tracy’s party” in these movies whenever people talk about somebody’s party somewhere?
• Thank goodness for a pee break
• That chalk writing sound is the WORST
• It’s charades time!
• That’s a pretty good head-severing effect