This month we asked the team, “Which actor grates on your nerves and is usually a dealbreaker when it comes to watching his or her movies?”

Anthony: When I was invited on the Matinee podcast, Syp and I had a discussion about separating art from the artist, where he had raised the strong argument that if you boycott movies and shows starring someone you don’t like as a person, you won’t be watching anything. Very fair point, then again the sheer volume of streaming content available ensures it will never be a problem to steer clear of Z-listers like Dean Cain and Kevin Sorbo. But those are low-hanging fruit, picking on them is like doing a culinary critique of a McNugget. Even if they sit on very the same disgusting shelf as my target of choice: Kristen. Stewart.

First time I was ever made aware of her was in David Fincher’s thriller masterclass Panic Room. She was playing a child of divorce full of piss and vinegar, and she was doing it so convincingly it was hard to feel reality wasn’t seeping through in her work. I was absolutely there for what she would do next. And then came the glittering vampires movies. No, not true, RIGHT BEFORE those movies came out. You see, for some reason, those books had a pretty hardcore fandom, and when fans learned she was gonna play Beluga (or something), she became their favourite actress of all. And she didn’t like that. Because, you know, movie fans only pay for her entire friggin life, who the hell wants that?

Being interviewed by MSN about excessive enthusiasm over the coming movies, she berated her own fans, calling for them to leave her alone, and referring to them as “retarded.” Setting aside the dichotomy of hating the people who pay generously for the life you chose, as an autism parent I have a HUGE problem with someone using neurodivergence as a slur to degrade people they don’t like. And just in case anyone feels that might have been a brain fart from an otherwise nice person, she later took a giant crap on people using antidepressants (they literally saved my life), spat on make-up models, THEN took a big fat paycheck to be a Chanel spokesperson, blamed her teachers for not “doing extra work” for her to keep studying while she was making multi-million dollar movies, fell asleep during an award show where she was being honoured, made some disgusting remarks about diversity, and friggin’ CHEATED on Robert Friggin Pattinson, the nicest dude in Tinseltown since Stanley Tucci and Keanu!!!

I DID give her a chance for the coming-out Xmas comedy Happiest Season, and she thankfully justified by bottomless hatred of her by being in a completely different movie than the rest of the cast. Aside from that one, anything she stars in is a automatic pass for me. Even the unnecessary Charlie’s Angels re-re-reboot which still sounded fun, passed. On the other hand I haven’t missed a single Pattinson movie since the aforementioned atrocious quadrology of five movies.

Drake: I try not to be too judgmental about actors, since they’re doing a job and it’s likely that their on-screen persona has been largely manufactured by the studio.

But still, it’s Chris Pratt.

Can’t stand the guy. Can’t stand his dopey looks or his attempts at “acting,” which really boils down just playing a minor variation of the same part over and over again. Which a lot of actors do, granted. But honestly, I can’t stand that part, and so infinite repetitions of it aren’t endearing or cute, they’re just endlessly irritating. I mean, it took me six years to get around to watching those last two Avengers flicks. That might not be entirely Pratt’s fault, but I’ll happily put the blame on his shoulders since, in every scene he was in, I was hoping Dave Bautista would just break character and dribble him like a basketball.

I also saw that new Jurassic Park movie that he was in (no, not the new, new one, but the new one from 10 years ago) and that was pretty bad. Again, not necessarily his fault but I was wishing dino-death on him for about 90% of the runtime. The other 10% I was like, “Man, they should have stopped at the first flick back in ‘93.”

So, sure, maybe I’m just not a fan of the flicks he’s in, but I still maintain that he’s a terrible actor who somehow lucked into leading roles in franchise movies that are made even worse by his appearances in them.

Sitting Duck: You know, my response to last month’s Roundtable would have been perfect for this one. But I suppose I can’t just reuse it, as that would be cheating (or at the very least lazy). So I guess I’ll have to come up with a new one. Hrmph!

Okay, I think I have one, even though film was not his primary medium. A performer who always grated my cheese was Fred Allen. Now I imagine this blandly generic name is meaningless to most if not all of you, so I’ll fill you in. Fred Allen was one of the many individuals who abandoned the sinking ship of Vaudeville for the life raft of radio, where he had a popular and long-running comedy show. But nowadays there are just a couple things still (barely) remembered about him. The first is how the recurring character of Southern blowhard Beauregard Claghorn would serve as an influence on the Looney Tunes character Foghorn Leghorn. The other is his epic feud with fellow radio comic Jack Benny which was actually a phony baloney sham carefully scripted by the writers of both shows who regularly collaborated on how it progressed.

Part of my issue with Allen is that his show wasn’t very funny. Much of this comes from how the comedy leaned heavily into being topical, something which rarely ages well. But a larger factor in my dislike comes from his radio persona. To get a better idea of what I’m talking about, let’s make a comparison with his pseudo-archnemesis. The defining trait of Jack Benny the radio character was his outrageous parsimony, which made Scrooge McDuck look like a reckless spendthrift. This was so over the top that you instinctively knew there was no way that it could bear any resemblance to Jack Benny the person. Meanwhile, Allen’s persona was more akin to a smug jerk who had nothing but contempt for those he interacted with. Whether or not he was like this in real life (and I’ll be generous and presume he wasn’t) is irrelevant. The fact is it felt like it could have been the real Fred Allen. And that really sours my view on him.

Justin: I can’t help it — some actors simply rub me the wrong way no matter who they play on screen. To be fair here, I’ll pick one female and one male actor as an example.

Melissa McCarthy is like someone forcing me to chew tin foil while telling me that it’s such a treat and that I should love it. She’s too loud and abrasive without a real knack for humor, and yet there was a stretch of time there that Hollywood kept trying to make her happen. I guess because of Bridesmaids? I dunno, but she is the opposite of a draw for me.

For a guy, I’m going to go with Quentin Tarantino-the-actor. Putting aside my thoughts on his writing and directorial talent (or overrated lack thereof), QT is a guy who should not be in front of the camera. Ever. He’s that kind of person who clearly thinks that they’re crushing it in their role, speed-talking his way through bit parts while looking like a skeevy uncle. A skeevy uncle who likes feet, way, way too much.