“These things! They’re huge, ugly, slimy, giant Mr. Potato Heads!”

Justin’s rating: I have to believe that Louise Fletcher was at least in one movie as a nice person. Somewhere.

Justin’s review: Who’s in the mood for another ’80s remake of a ’50s B-movie? No? What if I told you it was directed by Tobe Hooper (Lifeforce) and featured visual effects by John Dykstra (Star Wars) and creature effects by Stan Winston (just everything cool that was ever made in movies). Yeah, I thought you’d change your mind.

Invaders from Mars is an update of the classic 1953 flick, but with better visuals and a spin on the Spielberg childhood fantasy haze that coated so many of ’80s flicks.

Young David (Hunter Carson) spies a UFO crash down on the hill behind his house during a thunderstorm. Nobody else spots it, but when his dad investigates and comes back changed, David begins to be alarmed.

And alarmed he should be, because Tobe Hooper isn’t going to give us cuddly ETs with cute catch-phrases. No, he’s going to deliver paranoia, goop, and a whole lot more teeth than you feel comfortable seeing. Also, there’s the most unlikable teacher I think has ever been filmed who is, naturally, played by Louise Fletcher.

David obviously is at a great disadvantage, being too young and small for anyone to believe him or to fight the aliens directly. He has to suffer seeing his family and friends become these subsumed pod people without a way to strike back. It’s only by allying with the school nurse (Carson’s actual mother, Karen Black) and the NASA Marines* that he even can stand a chance.

Depending on who you ask, Invaders from Mars is an under-appreciated cult film or a serious misstep by Tobe Hooper. I think the director has always been controversial to some extent, never playing it safe, and so it’s not surprising to me that this is another divisive project.

And I can see the criticisms, especially in regard to the generally poor acting by its leads. Karen Black in particular mis-delivers every line in a way that begs for mockery. Even her screams sound fake and awkward. I don’t know how to explain it, but they do.

Yet it’s hard to discount this film entirely, because Invaders from Mars looks absolutely fantastic, especially for a Cannon film. So what if it’s a little hokey, as long as we get truly weird bulbous aliens and cool ray guns?

I can see this totally freaking out some kids back in the ’80s, but really, what genre movie didn’t at the time? It’s that willingness to play things a little weird and risky that I appreciate, especially since that attitude no longer seems to exist in cinema.

Invaders from Mars is messy and often silly enterprise, yet it’s also a visually stunning effort with some fun ideas and crazy aliens. I have no doubt that if Hooper had guided the acting with a more sure hand, this would be considered a genre classic today.

*They share a base here for some reason, so I’ve created a new armed force division in my head called NASA Marines. Instead of riding boats to the action, they load up in space shuttles and parachute in from low-earth orbit.

Intermission!

• Dead frogs make for good projectile weapons
• The shot of the path and sky outside of David’s window is absolutely beautiful
• That’s a big ol’ pile of bacon
• “Later.”
• It’s that old playground structure that’s just a bunch of cubed bars
• The famous frog eating scene
• The Vertigo cam in the hallway
• Oh tell me that lead alien is Mother Brain
• Alien-controlled quicksand
• Seriously, could they make any MORE noise in the school basement?
• What the heck is that alien drill doing in the basement?
• Little kids can barge into a combined NASA/Marines base with little problem
• Marines do NOT mess around when someone pulls a pistol on a general
• The rocket explosion was pretty cool
• “Marines have no qualms about killing Martians!”
• Why are you bringing a KID into a WAR ZONE? What the heck, NASA Marines?
• NASA Marines are able to set up a lot of barbed wire very quickly
• SETI dude’s going to get eaten, isn’t he?
• Nope, he gets ray gunned
• This movie only has the budget to show two aliens at any given time
• The neck drill does not look pleasant
• Did she get paid a bonus every time she said “David Gardner?”
• David gets in one really goo punch
• “We don’t carry loose change into combat, sir.”
• Wait, was it all a dream? What is this ending?