Welcome to What Ifs — a new column where we look at proposed, partially made, or sealed films that never saw the light of day. What if they came out? That’s what we’re here to imagine.

And our very first subject is…

Batgirl

To date, Batgirl may be the most expensive unreleased film ever made at $90 million. It was the victim of Warner Bros. cleaning house after a merger in 2022. The official line is that the movie didn’t test well at all and the studio figured that it would rather take a $90M tax write-off than a bath in the theaters.

So Batgirl got shoved into a vault — or perhaps a trash can — somewhere and fans of the Batman franchise were left wanting. And you know what? It’s not inconceivable that it was “unwatchable,” as some claim. There are plenty of superhero flicks that are pretty awful, and nobody wants to be a punchline like, say, Batman and Robin decades later.

Yet this move really does irk me for several reasons. First, I like me some Batman-related movies, even if they’re bad. Second, Brendan Fraser was in this as the villain Firefly and you jerks took Brendan Fraser away from me. It also had Michael Keaton’s Batman and JK Simmons’ Police Commissioner Gordon reprising their roles, which is not insubstantial.

And finally, nothing makes me want to see something than someone telling me I can’t. Maybe you’re like this too.

There’s a whole lot of potential with Batman spin-offs, including Batman Beyond, Batgirl, Catwoman, etc. And while those will no doubt be explored, I’ll always harbor a mild hope that Warner Bros. might have a change of heart and let us see this flick.

10 Things I Hate About Life 

1999’s 10 Things I Hate About You ended up being one of the long-lived romcom classics of the ’90s, remaking Shakespeare into a hilarious comedy with feisty leads that hated each other. But did you ever know that there was a sequel… or a spin-off… or a movie in the same vein?

That would be 10 Things I Hate About Life, a movie that I truly think was cursed. Initially it had a lot going for it, including a $64 million budget, some of the principal creators of the 1999 film, and Even Rachel Wood and Billy Campbell. The concept was that two people accidentally meet while staging their own suicides and end up pursuing a relationship rather than killing themselves.

This interesting (if slightly risque) premise went into production in late 2012, but only about a half-hour of the film was shot before the production was halted due to Wood’s pregnancy. However, after an aborted resumption of filming in late 2013, the whole project fell apart. The producers sued Wood for not showing up to film, and Wood accused the filmmakers of not paying her. This never got resolved, and 10 Things I Hate About Life went into the never-been pile.

From what I’ve seen and read of this, I would’ve really liked to have seen it. It looked funny and biting and full of energy, which is the only way I’m going to show up for romcoms.

There was even a trailer with some of the initial footage: