“Things that try to look like things often do look more like things than things. Well-known fact.”

Sitting Duck’s rating: 10 out of 10 broomsticks that fail to pass their emissions tests

Sitting Duck’s review: One of the more commonly seen recommendation quotes that appears on the covers of Terry Pratchett’s Discworld books is that he “does for fantasy what Douglas Adams did for science fiction.” This is both accurate and misleading. Accurate in that the Discworld novels lampoon its target genre in a thoroughly British manner much like The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. Misleading in that the tone of both works are wildly different.

As I get older, I find the mean-spirited cynicism of Douglas Adams increasingly unappealing. This was hammered in a while back when I watched the six-episode TV version of The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy in the single sitting on a whim. By the time it was over, I had fallen into a suicidal despondency. Obviously, I got better, but it wasn’t a pleasant experience.

Meanwhile, Terry Pratchett’s stories generally feature a more upbeat and whimsical tone. Mind you, he wasn’t afraid to get dark when appropriate. He also became rather disillusioned in his later years, and this was reflected in the stories he wrote during that period. But for the most part he avoided being actively hateful.

As is often the case with a popular author, there have been attempts to adapt his writings to other media. One of the first was a six-part animated miniseries of Wyrd Sisters produced by Cosgrove Hall and broadcast on Channel Four. It was a decent enough choice to start with, as it had been written not long after Pratchett got past the Early Installment Weirdness stage of the series (which had stuff like Death being actively malicious) and for the most part it was a standalone story. But even the best material can be screwed over with a sufficiently hacky adaptation. Let’s watch and see which kind it is.

Our story begins on a blasted heath, where a coven of witches is deciding when shall they three meet again, and if next Tuesday will be convenient for everybody. Their gathering is interrupted when a man with a baby rushes in, only to be slain by two soldiers. One clearly doesn’t realize what a bad idea it is to mess with witches, while the other understands all too well. As the former is about to to kill the baby, lead witch Granny Weatherwax uses Headology on the other to pressure him into slaying his compatriot. Granny then suggests to him that he might want to go off and become a sailor or something.

As second witch Nanny Ogg takes care of the baby, it gets noticed that the man has a crown with him as well. This bodes ill as far as Granny is concerned, and for good reason. For there has been murder most foul, as King Verence was slain by his cousin Felmet, who did so at the instigation of his domineering wife to claim the throne. It’s clear that the child is not safe within the kingdom, so both he and the crown must be secreted out of the country posthaste.

On that front, junior-most witch Magrat Garlick has an idea. Currently, there is a troupe of touring players in town. Perhaps they would be willing to take the child (who, though a failure to communicate, gets named Tomjon). A talk with the troupe’s manager gives Granny a favorable impression. So Tomjon is handed off and the crown is slipped into one of the prop boxes, thus allowing the traditional narrative to run its course.

Though it might be desirable for it to go at a full gallop. Felmet is progressing as a merciless tyrant who ravages the countryside at a fearsome pace, leaving misery in his wake. Worst of all, he’s insisting that witches should start paying taxes! At the rate Felmet is currently going, there won’t be much of a kingdom left for the rightful heir to reclaim. The very essence of the kingdom is displeased with this turn of events and expects the witches to do something about it. So it’s decided that they’ll apply some high-powered witchcraft by moving the kingdom forward in time to the point where Tomjon is of age so that can perform his destined task.

As you might guess from the title and the plot summary, Wyrd Sisters leans heavily into Macbeth as a target for lampooning. However, other Shakespearean works get a nod. Among the more prominent are the character of the Fool being a nod to the one from King Lear and the play performed during the climax being reminiscent of the play within a play from Hamlet. There is also a plethora of other brief references as well as the character of Hwel being a stand-in for the Bard himself.

Something that stuck out for me was the character designs. After about twenty years or so of being immersed in anime, my mental defaults as regards cel-style animation have been heavily influenced by Nippon. So seeing this was a bit disorienting at first. I think it may be the noses that really did it. In anime, noses are frequently indistinct. Here they’re big and proud and frequently reddish, as if some of the characters have colds or indulged a bit too much in strong drink. However, it proves to be to be a good fit for the Discworld aesthetic.

Voice acting is strong all around, which is good since a bad enough performance in a prominent role can really sink an animated production. In particular, the actresses for the witches manage to capture the personalities of their characters with incredible aplomb, from Granny’s no-nonsense attitude to Nanny’s party gal persona to Magrat’s flaky Wiccan identity. As is often the case for animated productions, the cast mostly consists of performers unknown to those who don’t take a strong interest in voice actors. But there is an instance of celebrity casting here. I speak of Death being performed by none other than Christopher Lee. This is especially appropriate, as Pratchett has stated in interviews that he imagines Death sounding like Lee.

As an adaptation, it sticks quite close to the book, with most of the dialogue being virtually identical. This is for the best. There is such a thing as being too faithful to the source material (the 1980s BBC miniseries adaptation of The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe comes to mind). However, Pratchett’s brilliant dialogue is not something you want to leave to the tender mercies of some clueless hacks reinterpreting it. Fortunately, it remains mostly intact, with the occasional line trimmed here and there, as well as bits of narrative that don’t quite translate to the visual medium.

However, it’s the tiny details that really bring it home. Things like the clanking of Magrat’s occult jewelry. Or actual lyrics for The Hedgehog Song. Or dwarves singing about gold. Or how, during the flashback when the Fool is being sent to the Fool’s Guild to learn the family trade, a series of bad jokes are recited in the background in the style of a Gregorian chant.

I will concede there are a few aspects which may confuse those unfamiliar with the Discworld series. Stuff like the orangutan at the bar who takes issue with someone uttering the M Word. Or why Hwel is afflicted with visions of the Marx Brothers and Laurel and Hardy. There are probably some other bits that will confound the noobs which went unnoticed by me because I have subconsciously filled in the blanks. All I can say is that I hope it encourages such viewers to check out the original novel.

Intermission!

• “I don’t like abroad. I don’t like the food and you can’t trust the water and the shamans always hog the deck chairs.”
• “I don’t hold with looking at the future. But now I think the future’s looking at me, and I don’t like its expression at all.”
• “How many times have you flung a magic ring into the deepest depths of the ocean, and then when you get home and have a nice bit of turbot for your tea, there it is?”
• “Quaffing?” “it’s like drinking, only you spill more.”
• Broomstick emissions
• “Being assassinated is natural causes for a king.”
• Jester handkerchief
• Improvised demon summoning
• “The dead shouldn’t kill the living. Could be a dangerous wossname. Precedent.”
• “You could give him boils or something. Hemorrhoids are good. It won’t stop him ruling. It just means he’ll have to rule standing up.”
• “As you progress in the craft, you’ll learn there’s another rule. One that Esme’s obeyed all her life. When you break rules, break them good and hard.”
• “A witch doesn’t know the meaning of the word failure.” “It means lack of success.”
• “All the Disc is but a theater, and all men and women are but players. Except those who sell popcorn.”
• Gold songs
• “We can’t let this happen. Witches just aren’t like that. We live in harmony with the great cycles of nature and do no harm to anyone. And it’s wicked of them to say we don’t. We ought to fill their bones with hot lead!”
• “Look, it’s a trick dagger. Actors probably can’t be trusted with real ones.”
• “People don’t invite witches. They just know we’ll turn up if we want to.”
• Obligatory MST3K Connection: Christopher Lee (voice of Death) is virtually unrecognizable as the title character in The Castle of Fu Manchu.