“Open your eyes.”

Kyle’s rating: If I part my hair just the right way, I look like Tom Cruise. No, really.

Kyle’s review: Once again, the power of negative hype has brought me a wonderful viewing experience. I remember looking so forward to Vanilla Sky, but on the day it came out while I was driving to the theater the entertainment radio show I was listening to was savaging this film so badly I decided to wait a few days to examine viewer reaction.

And whoa, this certainly polarized the movie-going public! It was either the worst film ever with inept performances and direction, or it was a perfectly crafted gem with layers upon layers of thought and philosophy. Many people couldn’t tell if it was one or the other. I knew I would be able to tell, but I wasn’t about to risk my money just for the opportunity. Remember, it’s all about the Benjamins, and if you aren’t sure a movie is worth the risk you’re better off buying an issue of Surfer Girl and a nice big chocolate milkshake. Woo hoo!

But I figured Vanilla Sky would be a worthy rental. I was right! And I found out a lot of people were wrong: this is a great movie! Kind of. After you see it, you’ll be thinking about it for days! Maybe. All this means I’m the greatest ever. Definitely.

Plot recaps are stupid. Here is the necessary stuff: Tom Cruise is David, a rich New York playboy who controls a magazine empire, and his best friend is upcoming author Jason Lee. Tom has fun with life and occasionally sleeps with groupie Cameron Diaz, but his shallow life is changed in the span of an evening when he meets the captivating Penelope Cruz and resolves to become a better person. Sadly, before he can try, jealous Diaz goes psycho, Tom gets a really bad face job, and suddenly reality starts bleeding and clocks start drooping off of tree branches. All in a figurative sense, of course. Through it all, Tom grins. A lot.

Let me prepare you for something: The end is pretty wacky and will probably be a letdown if you don’t know what is coming. I knew, and if you want to you can find out elsewhere, and although I’m not going to ruin things for you here I strongly recommend getting the end “spoiled” so you can appreciate the flourishes and clues about the nature of reality here without wasting your mindpower wondering where this is all going. Just consider it, please!

If you’re into sci-fi or you dig Cameron Crowe films, don’t get scared away by bad hype. There are weak spots here and in hindsight I would have told Crowe and Cruise (we’re all close, you know) to handle certain stuff a little differently, but there is a purity of purpose here that gives this film a transcendent quality you can’t help but grin widely at.

Plus, I found the performances to be fantastic! Cruise was a perfect blend of arrogance, confidence, confusion, desire, obsession, determination, and charm. He’s basically me, and he pulls it off well. Jason Lee is always great. Kurt Russell is a solid presence and his scene at the end added even more questions for me than I expected.

The biggest revelation for me here was the captivating Penelope Cruz. I didn’t think much of her before (and I still don’t, really), but in Vanilla Sky she was the shiny jewel at the center of the story, holding together everything while also driving everything that happens. Man, I’d risk the insanity of a fractured reality for happiness with Penelope! Of course, I’d take that risk for a free milkshake, so maybe my perspective is off.

So really, although lots of people (maybe even some you know, like your neighbor and stuff!) dislike this film, you should remember that beauty and good films are in the eye of the beholder, just like we learned from Star Trek. Everyone interprets stuff differently, which is why your best chance to get in a fight is at an art museum. I interpreted Vanilla Sky to be a thought-provoking, quality personal work. Maybe your interpretation will be different. But isn’t it worth the cost of a rental to find out? Yes!