“And now my pig, you die.”

Justin’s rating: There’s a high wind advisory over this movie!

Justin’s review: There’s an evil farm in the middle of nowhere that’s been particularly bad luck for any family that’s lived there. And I’m not talking about black mold or nosy neighbors. It’s the kind of place where people turn inside-out and get possessed by very vengeful spirits.

It’s also the old family homestead of Cory (Eric Larson), and since he’s lost most of his relatives, he’s decided to seek out this place and figure out its secrets. He’s also enlisted the help of a half-dozen or so of his college buddies, whom I guess exist so that the movie has people to explode. One of them is a magician of the David Copperfield variety, and he alone justifies the price of admission. The expedition sets out to investigate this cursed place, and not everyone is going to be coming back at the end of it. I kept thinking that Cory must be the most popular guy ever, because there are very few people I would drop everything to go investigate a hell house for.

Demon Wind might best be approached as a spiritual successor to Evil Dead 2. There certainly are a lot of commonalities between the movies, including an isolated house in the middle of nowhere, demonic possession, copious amounts of fake blood, and an anything-goes approach to goofy shock horror. It’s also another movie where the evil omens are so strong and obvious that only extremely stubborn young adults have the capacity to ignore them and hang out.

It’s not exactly the same as Evil Dead 2, of course. For one thing, Demon Wind leans harder into the supernatural, as Cory has dream visions and the kids are able to walk through a burned-out door to arrive inside a fully intact house. In there, weird poltergeist-level stuff starts happening almost right away, but hey, why not stick around and see if good things are right around the corner? Before long, a hard wind rushes in — a demon wind, you might say. But by then, the crew is stranded (their cars won’t start) and a thick fog rolls over everything that moves them around in space. Naturally, it’s also when three demon kids show up, turn one of the girls into a talking doll, and then disappear. Her boyfriend makes a face that is best interpreted as “mild bummer” and goes on with his life.

This is kind of the M.O. for Demon Wind. Weird, inexplicable stuff happens, nobody reacts to it as you’d expect, and the battle between good and evil gets more and more ridiculous the closer we get to the final act. The house is some sort of gateway to hell, so it’s generally a bad idea to stay there. But stay the kids do, fighting back with a small arsenal of guns that they brought (for some reason) and a pair of enchanted daggers.

It’s so hard to figure out if this is so-bad-it’s-good, so-shlocky-it’s-entertaining, or just kind of bad. Demon Wind certainly isn’t boring, often throwing idea after idea at the screen without any worry if it makes sense or not. With better acting or a more lucid plot this might be respectable as a film, but I think it would’ve lost something in the process. You get the sense that this movie was made by people who absolutely loved a lot of much better horror flicks and tried, unsuccessfully, to emulate them. I’m not giving Demon Wind my recommendation, mind you, just pointing out that it exists and it’s easily the weirdest thing you’ll see all week… if you dare to.

Didja notice?

• A burning body on a cross is certainly a dark omen to start a movie with
• That many candles is a severe fire hazard for any home
• Guess that guy eats his yogurt
• So that snowglobe was the cabin’s self-destruct mechanism?
• Creepy girl with creepy stick makes for another creepy omen
• Maybe you should be wearing more clothes in your own dreams?
• Angry gas attendant really doesn’t want to give out directions
• Cory is quite dedicated to following his dreams, just not in the way you think
• What American cafe doesn’t serve tall glasses of goats milk?
• Every movie needs a magician riding in on a convertible doing tricks
• The bird poop was hilarious
• How is that skeleton still hanging on the relatively unburned cross after so long?
• So now he can see the past by touching things, because… magic?
• Yeah go ahead and read that scary Latin phrase painted in blood out loud. Probably a good idea.
• That’s one fast-moving fog!
• Maybe don’t go talk to the teleporting demon kids?
• “And that’s when my girlfriend turned into a talking doll”
• That’s one convenient book of exposition he found
• When demons are surrounding your house, it’s best to go outside and make a last stand in an open field while shouting out pithy one-liners.
• You can spin-kick a demon’s head off
• That guy’s earrings are the most disturbing things in this film
• Nothing like a goat head with a giant tongue to liven up your day
• Oh those are bad disappearing effects
• Wait, did he turn into an alien elf?
• It was all a dream? Or was it?