On the Twelve Days of Christmas, my true love gave to me…

Twelve Grouchy Gremlins

Eleven Mooching Relatives

Ten Yodeling Muppets

Nine Of Your Favorite TV Dinners

Eight Shots Of Yule Whiskey

Seven Shrieking Monsters

Six Functional Flipper-Fingers

FIVE HELLSPAWNED PIECES OF COAL!

Four Imperial Nitwits

A Triple-Dog Dare

Two Bickering Hostages

And A Machine Gun In The Wrong Hands!