“Brother, when you get a minute, could I get a list of the words that trigger these episodes?”

The Scoop: 2002 PG-13, Directed by Malcolm D. Lee and starring Eddie Griffin, Denise Richards, David Chappelle and  Aunjanue Ellis

Tagline: He’s All Action

Summary Capsule: African-American super-spies battle the forces of Mr. The Man

Justin’s Rating: Looks like someone’s auditioning for Soul Train!

Justin’s Review: How to cook a good Undercover Brother:

Ingredients

• A pinch of Soul, with a capital “S”
• 1 Cup Eddie Griffin’s smile, which can light up the night sky and my heart in a single grin
• 3 Tsp. Denise Richards in leather one size too small
• 1 1/2 lbs. of pure, righteous funk (George Clinton, come on down)
• 1 accidental whisker of a rat named Chris Kattan that fell in the bowl
• Some fire. Fire good. Fire make things hot and burn and bacon crispy.

Instructions:

• Get in the right mood to watch a somewhat-silly comedy that blends together elements of Shaft, “Doogie Howser M.D.,” “Roots” and Austin Powers.
• Clear out of the house anyone who is “in the mood” for a Victorian-era period drama. Shoot to kill, if necessary.
• Gather together a beverage of choice and a snack of choice (we recommend IBC Root Beer coupled with Red Hot Cheetos). Sink down into the couch and let your belly be free of the Belt Buckle Regime.
• If skin is of light-tone variety, spend a couple anxious minutes wondering if a film flinging counter-racial comments about in such a tongue-in-cheek manner can be construed as actually racist. Then come to the realization that there is such a thing as being way too politically correct, and just chill out.
• Keep mistaking Eddie Griffin for that Orlando Bloom guy in Evolution, despite the fact that they look nothing alike.
• Hoot and holler when Doogie Hoswer makes a complete patootey of himself as the whitest-of-white interns at a mostly African-American spy organization. Nod knowingly as you ponder that Doogie is paying for his sins through cinematic purgatory.
• Use a free appendage to dial up a bored friend and lament that Undercover Brother is about sixteen times better than that other 70s spy spoof, Austin Powers 3.
• Giggle like a girl and belch like a stud, secure in the knowledge that you don’t have to worry about others’ opinions of your hygiene or movies. At least, not for another hour.

Intermission!

• Doogie Howser singing… shudder!
• Yes! Golf cart chase!
• When Chi McBride is in his office, he says, “I’m gettin’ too old for this sh**!” He then looks up at a picture of Danny Glover, who has said the same line in all of the Lethal Weapon films.
• Anton Jackson says “Hollywood really *is* out to get Spike Lee?” Spike Lee is director Malcolm D. Lee’s cousin.
• The moves Lance uses on the three security guards are all “Fatalities” from Mortal Kombat
• The left side of the island was deliberately designed to resemble the letter M, for “Man”.
• Rumor has it that Denise Richards was incensed about certain body modifications made on the official poster, which was subsequently changed.
• Based on a series of internet flash cartoons.

Groovy Quotes

Conspiracy Brother: George Washington Carver made the first computer! Out of a peanut! A PEA-NUT!

Jackson: Wait a minute, how’d the white boy get a job at the B.R.O.T.H.E.R.H.O.O.D.?
The Chief: What can I say? Affirmative action.

Lance: I *feel* black.
Conspiracy Brother: But you *look* white…don’t touch me!

Jackson: Hi.
Conspiracy Brother: “Hi”? What you mean “hi”? Like “high yellow wanna be white”? “High” like the *white man* wants to keep us? Wait, you don’t smell any weed on me, do you?
Jackson: Brother, when you get a minute, could I get a list of the words that trigger these episodes?

Jackson: Honey, is that Michael Bolton’s version of “The Thong Song”?

General Boutwell: I used to work at the Pentagon, but now I help get your chicken on.

The Chief: I’m tired of you disrespecting me! Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t fire your black ass?
Jackson: Because I…don’t…work for you?
The Chief: SHUT UP! Save the smart comments for the chunky brother in the smock!

Conspiracy Brother: Jesus Christ: black man. Babe Ruth: black man. Madonna:…slept with black men.

Conspiracy Brother: Oh my God! It’s Macy Gray with Porkchop Sideburns.

Jackson: You know what they say, behind every great black…
Conspiracy Brother: …is the police!

Lance: [screeching] I… am not… a sissy!

If you liked this movie, try these:

• Austin Powers in Goldmember
• The Ladies Man
• I’m Gonna Get You, Sucka!