“He is but one man. One man alone cannot fight the future.”

The Scoop: 1998 PG-13, directed by Rob Bowman and starring David Duchovny, Gillian Anderson, and William B. Davis

Tagline: Discover the past, live the present, fight the future.

Summary Capsule: Stoic Agent Mulder and skeptic Agent Scully discover the truth… is on the big screen.

Justin’s rating: Gillian Anderson twenty feet high is a weird dream come true!

Justin’s review: I used to be a big X-Files fan. Big, but not obsessively so. That came from my college experience, since my college town of Grove City has to be the oddest place this side of Twin Peaks. I swear, if I can just get Mulder and Scully up here, they’ll discover more than they ever wanted to know about cafeteria conspiracies, aliens infiltrating my computer classes, and unshaven beasts that could be related to Bigfoot.

But, sorry, on to the review. The X-Files movie was probably one of my most-anticipated films-to-see of this past summer. I think the show is great: action, terrific plot ideas, humor, and lots of Gillian Anderson. Let me wipe the drool off the screen here. The movie brings these wonderful characters and their quest for The Truth to the big screen, with lots of special effects and poaloozarazzi.

And I was disappointed. Bored, even.

The recap the movie: the X-Files (an FBI paranormal investigative unit consisting of a Believer and a Skeptic) has been shut down, and Scully & Mulder (henceforth known as S&M) have been reassigned to bomb detail. But, since we wouldn’t pay to see two hours of them doing paperwork, a mysterious informant propels S&M to go on a wild, wacky chase. They discover poisonous bees, possible love, and a leftover alien ship from Independence Day.

So why am I not raving for this movie? Well, even though it’s very faithful to the series, it’s perhaps too faithful. There’s nothing in this movie that hasn’t been covered; I kept finding myself saying, “That’s the same conversation/lines they had in such and such episode!” It’s a recycled flick.

Even the new alien (who gestates in the human body like a nice Alien we all know) wasn’t all that cool. It wasn’t a bad flick, don’t get me wrong, but it just didn’t light my fire. I’d recommend it to anyone who hasn’t seen the series and wants to get into it, but faithful X-philes should steer clear.

Intermission!

• Another little ID4 reference comes in when Mulder, drunk as a skunk, goes into an alley and takes a whiz on that movie’s poster. Gee, a little friendly rivalry going on here?
• Want to go to Dallas to see what building was(n’t) blown up? Don’t waste your time. The wreckage effects were mostly modified video of the Oklahoma City bombing wreckage. (How’s that for a conspiracy? A man blows up a building not for vengence in Waco, but for a movie?) Even the city of Dallas wasn’t really represented, it was actually downtown Los Angeles, (with CA state flags surreptitously replaced with Lone Star flags.) Why? Since the cast and crew were also shooting episodes of The X-Files in Los Angeles at the same time as the movie, flying to Dallas would be too expensive.

Groovy Quotes

Mulder: Maybe we should call in a bomb threat to Houston. I think it’s free beer night at the Astrodome.

Mulder: Five years together and how many times have I been wrong? …I’m driving anyway.

[To a bartender, while drinking.]
Mulder: I’m the key figure in an ongoing government charade, the plot to conceal the truth about the existence of extraterrestrials. It’s a global conspiracy, actually, with key players in the highest levels of power, that reaches down into the lives of every man, woman, and child on this planet, so, of course, no one believes me. I’m an annoyance to my superiors, a joke to my peers. They call me Spooky.  Spooky Mulder, whose sister was abducted by aliens when he was just a kid and who now chases after little green men with a badge and a gun, shouting to the heavens or to anyone who will listen that the fix is in, that the sky is falling and when it hits it’s gonna be the s**tstorm of all time.

[Scully is slow to realize a countdown timer signifies a bomb.]
Mulder: Thirteen fifty-four. Thirteen fifty-two. Thirteen fifty. You see a pattern emerging here Scully?

Strughold: He is but one man. One man alone cannot fight the future.

If You Liked This Movie, Try These:

• The X-Files: I Want To Believe
• Men In Black
• Independence Day