“It’s just one big frying pan out there.”

Drake’s rating: When you want a karate fight with a little movie sprinkled in

Drake’s review: Everyone has to start somewhere, and for acclaimed television director T.J. Scott, that somewhere was behind the camera for a low-budget action flick shot in some Toronto government building basements during a chilly November in 1992.

A former actor and stuntman, Scott’s directorial debut might be low on things like plot and story, but TC 2000 does feature more than its fair share of martial arts-driven action sequences, which made the director a natural fit for later projects such as Xena: Warrior Princess and Spartacus.

Ostensibly a near-future tale of environmental collapse, with the wealthy living in underground cities while roving gangs rule the surface world, TC 2000 really doesn’t have the funds to push its post-apocalyptic vision, so it relies instead on casting a few martial arts movie names and filling up the movie with fight scenes.

Like, a lot of fight scenes. A LOT.

Pretty much every cast member in this flick is going to get to kung-fu fighting at some point. They throw kicks and punches and toss each other around with wild abandon, before engaging in some small talk and pushing the plot forward. And then it’s right back to punching and kicking.

Fortunately, Scott has some real talent on hand for the action bits. Future Tae Bo creator Billy Blanks (Bloodfist) is on hand to star as Jason Storm, a Tracker-Communicator who works for the underground elite to keep the riffraff out of their underground paradise.

We never see the elites, of course, nor their groovy digs. Mostly we see the entryways to the underground, which are concrete basements filled with metal pipes. And then a fight breaks out because the movie really wants to keep you distracted with lightning-fast punches and flying kicks.

But Storm and his partner Zoey (Bobbie Phillips, Showgirls) are not only having problems with a gang leader named Picasso, they’re grating up against the underground’s head of security as well. Which of course leads to a fight between Storm and the security chief’s right hand man, Bigalow (Matthias Hues, I Come in Peace). Even when they’re on the same side, these guys just can’t stop fighting.

But tragedy strikes when Zoey is killed and Storm, suspecting foul play by someone in the underground, leaves for the surface world. Where there’s naturally more fighting going on, but at least one of the combatants this time around is the great Bolo Yeung (Double Impact). So often cast as the heavy, with menacing appearances against screen opponents ranging from Bruce Lee to Jean-Claude Van Damme, Yeung gets to wear the white hat this time around as Master Sumai, whose martial arts skills are going to come in handy when he and Storm inevitably team up to take down Picasso and the underground’s security forces as well.

Which is probably easier than it sounds, since TC 2000 has a limited budget and armies of henchmen just aren’t in the cards. So it’s a combined force of maybe a dozen guys, and if you’ve ever seen Yeung, you know those odds are in his favor.

Still, the security chief has a hidden ace to play, and that’s the deceased Zoey. Having obviously seen Paul Verhoeven’s RoboCop before the world went all screwy, he resurrects her as a cyborg meant to be the next big thing in Tracker-Communicators. Renamed TC 2000X, Zoey is given a pro wrestler costume and high heels and is programmed to put an end to her former partner once and for all. Through the copious use of karate, obviously, since that’s just how disputes are settled in the near future of TC 2000.

TC 2000 is one of the many, many direct-to-video* martial arts actioners that were filling up the shelves of your local video store back in the day, and pretty much a middle-of-the-pack one at that. Blanks is fine in the central role, but he lacks the charisma to be a solo action lead. You’re kind of breathing a sigh of relief when Bolo Yeung shows up, as he’s much more of a commanding presence on the screen. The production design hurts this one as well, with most of the film shot against dreary concrete, with the extras looking like they were laughed off the set of The Warriors.

The fight sequences are the real selling point here, and are generally pretty good. The only problem is that there are too many of them, with none particularly standing out as the film’s centerpiece. Bolo Yeung’s scenes are probably the best,** but they’re hardly the peak of his cinematic career, while Billy Blanks’ fights all kind of blend together into a blur of fists and feet.

TC 2000 isn’t the bottom of the barrel of martial arts flicks, but it does get lost floating around in the depths buried under the layers occupied by Jet Li, JCVD, and Donnie Yen. You could go digging down through better films to find it, but you might find that your time would have been better spent skimming a title from the top.

Or, if you’re just in the mood for some Billy Blanks, firing up a Tae Bo session.

*Although it did have a theatrical release in Canada.

**Because he’s Bolo Yeung!

Intermission!

• Hey, the TC guys have zap guns! The special effects cost money, though, so don’t expect to see them too often.
• Look at those beefy monitors! How did we ever fit those onto our desks?
• Angry grimaces lead to a karate fight. An inconclusive ending leads to more angry grimacing.
• Matthias Hues’ kicks make the cutest little whooshing sound.
• Is it really an invasion when there are only five guys?
• Uh-oh. The TC 2000X gets flashbacks. That seems to be a common problem with cyborgs.
• Oh, those early ‘90s computer graphics.
• Bolo flexing the pecs, just because he can.
• And now, since there’s no one to currently fight, it’s a double training montage!
• Death punched right thru a door. What a way to go.