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Justin’s rating: This place would be an Airbnb today

Justin’s review: If you ever go to Disneyland or Magic Kingdom, you might find yourself walking briskly past an attraction that’s full of stairs in the California or Florida sun. This is the Swiss Family Treehouse, a pretty cool walkthrough attraction that few people walk through, mostly because (a) stairs in the sun who thought this was a good idea and (b) I don’t think anyone remembers or knows about the movie on which it was based.

It’s this. This is the movie. And the only reason I know about it is that we taped pretty much every episode and movie of the Magical World of Disney back in the late ’80s, and this particular entry entered into heavy rotation into our family’s VHS player for years afterward.

As I sold my kids on this before we watched it, Swiss Family Robinson is kind of Minecraft-on-an-island. And that’s honestly not too bad of a description!

A family of colonists heading to New Guinea ends up shipwrecked on an island after the crew deserts in a storm. But it’s not sour grapes for them: The island is beautiful, they’re a pretty capable bunch, and there are tons of supplies and even a menagerie of animals on the wrecked ship.

The absolute fun of this pretty wholesome adventure is seeing the family create a new life for themselves — including an ultimate treehouse with gadgets that would make Gilligan’s Professor ashamed. It’s definitely a cozy fantasy where the viewer is invited to think, “Boy, I wouldn’t mind being stranded here either” without remembering that there’s no wifi password.

It reminded me of this book — I can’t remember the name — that I owed as a teen. It was a manual of how to build almost anything in nature, from dams to underground bunkers to traps to hunting snares. I think a lot of boys (and girls) go through a phase where they fall in love with the idea of taming nature and turning a place into your own personal stronghold.

The family here is a loving bunch, with the highlight being the youngest boy who turns out to be totally animal crazy. Rewatching this today, I had a good laugh at how many animals are thrown about and (ab)used in this film.* The animals are very much part of the fantasy here, but I don’t think they got to say “no critters were harmed in the making of this movie.”

There are pirates to fight off, an elephant to tame, a tiger to trap, a trip around the coast, a holiday race, and a kidnapped girl to rescue and romance. None of it is the highest of stakes, but it fills up the runtime nicely, as does the good-natured joshing and escapades that the family does. This film indulges in its jungle setting with loads of dangers — quicksand! storms! — and even wraps up with some Home Alone-style booby traps as the pirates return for a frontal assault.

Reportedly, this is one of George Lucas’ favorite films, and he cribbed a couple scenes to include in the Star Wars trilogy, such as the anaconda fight/trash compactor scene and the log trap that took out the AT-STs. He even stole the director’s name — Annakin — for a certain Dark Lord of the Sith.

I miss when movies used to spark my imagination and make me want to emulate them in some way. Swiss Family Robinson was a huge fixture of my childhood imagination because of how much fun it was to think of living in this ultimate treehouse and creating a little tropical utopia with all the animals you could ever want as pets — or food.

*My favorite part is when they ride a zebra, the most untamable and unridable of any mammal.