“I need to be a monk?” “That’s right, it’s the only way to defeat evil” “That means I need to shave my head?”

Josh’s review: Hong Kong kickboxer Chan Wing (Lung-Wei Wang, Five Deadly Venoms) is brutally beat up by dirty fighting Thai fighter Bu Bo (Bolo Yeung, Bloodsport). Although he technically wins the fight, Chan Wing is left paralyzed after a particularly nasty after-the-bell hit. His gangster brother Chan Hung (Phillip Ko, Dreadnaught) vows to enact revenge.

And here’s where things get weird.

A ghostly monk has been visiting Hung, trying to get a meeting, eventually leading him to a temple in Thailand. Here, it’s revealed that Hung is connected to this ghostly Buddhist via a past life, and their fate is intertwined. Hung must train to become a monk so he can battle a powerful group of black magic sorcerers and their army of creatures to break a curse that would lead to his — and the monk’s — demise. Oh, and he’ll also have to find some time for that kickboxing match.

When I first started The Boxer’s Omen, I thought I was in for a Kickboxer or Bloodsport-type flick, perhaps with some more high-flying and mystical kung fu given this is a Shaw Brothers production. It has elements of Kickboxer even though it predates it by six years. The main character watching his brother become paralyzed in a fight and promising to avenge him being the big one. It is also eerie that in Bloodsport, Bolo Yeung’s Chong Li fights an opponent that has been blinded. But really, that is where the similarities end. This movie takes a turn into the wild and never looks back.

Simply put, this is a story of good vs. evil. The good guys wear white, or orange, and the bad guys wear black. The good guys shoot light and rainbows, the bad guys shoot lightning. The good guys have blue lightsabers and the bad guys red. Scratch that last part, but you get it.

Hung (later Kaidi Baluo) is not really a likable guy. He is a gangster who seems to take what he wants, when he wants. This is apparent when he catches a glimpse of his girlfriend’s mammalian protuberances (as Zappa would say) through her open flowing shirt and proceeds to yank her off the couch for some forceful smooches. This ends with one of the most prolonged flesh pressed against glass scenes since Midnight Express. Because we don’t get much background on this guy, it is hard to really care about him as a character. Didn’t even know he was also a champion fighter with 50+ wins until he is walking into his fight with Bu Bo.

Phillip Ko does an okay job with his performance. I will say a lot of that just comes down to yelling or grunting in pain, but considering the things to which his character is exposed, coming up “just okay” is remarkable. Aside from Elvis Tsui Kam-Kong (City on Fire), the stony-faced monk Qing Zhao, everyone else understands the assignment and delivers over-the-top energy.

Director Chih-Hung Kuei mixes some kung fu elements with what my limited knowledge recognizes as Japanese ghost story aesthetics. What I am most thrilled about is the pure imagination he poured into this thing. Going back and reading some of the paragraphs from my notes made me laugh out loud just as I had while watching the film.

The effects are something to behold. For what looks like a small budget, they really did a great job for the most part. I’m not sure they always got the effect they were looking for as those damn demon bats were just the cutest little dudes I have ever seen. Props to the props department on this one for getting creative. Some of these effects look like they were created with things found around the house or at a hardware store. For example, when the sorceress gets her skin ripped off in one sheet (I’m jealous because that is what I go for every time I peel a Cuties clementine) by Buddha Claus, then gives birth to the three dudes who made her, they are clearly wrapped in cling film like leftover mummies.

Aside from wild effects, there a lot of live animals trampling around in brain goop or going into or out of a person’s mouth. Creepy crawlies include spiders, snakes, alligators, eels, maggots and mealworms.

I have to admit that my exposure to Shaw Brothers movies is limited to the big Kung Fu titles like The 36th Chamber of Shaolin, Five Deadly Venoms, and The Eight Diagram Pole Fighter. The Boxer’s Omen is my first foray into the horror side of things. Watching this one made me excited to explore more of their lesser-known offerings, especially those made by Chih-Hung Kuei. If you are looking for an optical feast full of “WTF” moments, this is it.

Intermission!

• For more Phillip Ko, consider Dreadnaught from 1981. It has the great Biao Yuen as a nerdy laundry man who doesn’t realize that his master launder father has taught him kung fu through the art of doing laundry. There are some fantastic dance fighting dressed as dragon scenes.
• Doctor: “He will be paralyzed permanently.” Hung: “For the rest of his life?”
• The sorcerer has to jump the fence to get into the temple grounds. Why is that so funny to me?
• One notable effect that is really well done is in the scene where Hung is sitting in a pot and is attached by ropes to the monks surrounding. Words written on the pot begin to move from outside to inside and then onto Hung as the ropes emit red energy. Really cool stuff.
• A disclaimer. If you’re like me and hate The Food Network because you don’t like watching people eat, you may want to avoid this one.
• Hung has apparently stolen Carmen Sandiego’s coat.
• My favorite part is at the beginning of the credits when the filmmakers thought it was necessary to write “Persons and events depicted in this film are fictitious.”