“What’s, like, your take on heaven?”

Justin’s rating: Not a lot of vampire movies directed by women, either

Justin’s review: If you’re looking for a spark of originality in the vampire genre, you best seek out the Canadians, for they have the most polite undead you’ll ever meet. In fact, here’s one right now — a ghoul named Boya (Gordon Currie, Friday the 13th Part VIII) who crawled into a sleeping bag in a Toronto basement in 1969 and didn’t wake back up until a golf ball flew through a window to smack him in the ’90s.

Boya’s not a mean vampire; he drinks animal blood instead of human and has no interest in going on rampages, starting underground crime syndicates, or fighting Kate Beckinsale. In fact, he makes best buds with a taxi driver named Earl and starts dating Molly, a donut shop clerk.

In a real way, Boya’s time traveled into the future — not for the first time, we discover — and that comes with a little bit of acclimatization. I liked the subtle touch of the rather catchy soundtrack playing oldies from the ’60s, etc. to reflect his world coming into ours. But instead of this being a fish-out-of-water tale, it’s more about a chill vampire making friends and living his best life.

That’s not to say that things don’t get a little complicated in the ever-dark streets of Toronto. Some thugs — led by crime boss David Cronenberg, believe it or not — are giving Earl a hard time. Also, Boya’s 1960s ex-girlfriend, who he fed off of, senses him and tracks him down for a reunion.

Blood and Donuts reminded me how much I love the creativity and quirky character focus of the ’90s indie scene. It’s not trying to be a strict genre movie as much of a sampler platter — a little comedy here, romance there, crime drama, romcom, film noir, horror, pastries, you name it, this has a little of it.

It’s a small, focused affair with a cast that I grew attached to rather quickly. Boya reminded me a little like a subdued version of Brendan Fraser’s Link from Encino Man. Molly’s a sarcastic quipper, Earl has a Christopher Walken accent that accentuates his goofiness, and the bad guys are about as bad as Canadians allow themselves to get.

Director Holly Dale infuses Blood and Donuts with more creative touches and skilled performances that the low budget is easily overlooked. The decision to set the almost all of the film during the night gives it an otherworldly feel, where the domain of the vampire is far more believable. The excellent CRPG Vampire the Masquerade: Bloodlines did the same thing for the same effect.

The direction also subtly explores Boya’s vampiric nature without making a big deal out of it. We explore his heighten senses as he wordlessly tracks all of the people in the diner, we see him scuttle on the floor after a rat, we see him connect to Molly through dreams, and we observe the way he manhandles the thugs in a creepy way that shows us  the kind of vampire he could be if he lost control.

Unfortunately, like many indie films of this era, Blood and Donuts doesn’t boast the strongest driving narrative. Little things happen, little events and such, but it’s not going anywhere. There’s no major crisis to be solved or goal to be reached. It’s Hang with a Vampire.

Strange as it is to say for its subject matter, Blood and Donuts is a good-natured film that’s more interested in introspective little conversations than going all Buffy with huge confrontations and dramatic fights. I think you might just like it — I know I did.

Intermission!

• Probably the first vampire movie I’ve seen that starts with the moon landing in 1969
• You get long fingernails when you’ve been sleeping for a couple decades
• Taxi drivers sometimes cry about their dead dogs
• Graves are vampire long-term storage for clothes and accordions and photo albums
• Blood makes good photo album glue in a pinch
• Wall punching and rat killing go hand-in-hand
• You can’t get liver at donut shops
• “Most people have their dignity, most people long to leave their mark.”
• Literal lemon juice poured into wounds
• Guess stakes don’t do much to vampires
• Bathtub pigeon time!
• “Well, we all age.” “No, we don’t. Not all of us.”
• Time to jump-start Earl with very hokey speciall effects