“So he’s being a helpful stalker? Kind of like Batman?“

Justin’s rating: I learned about the Wisconsin Dells from this movie

Justin’s review: I don’t think that most people are worried enough about the future availability of movies and film preservation. With streaming becoming the de facto gatekeeper of what is and is not available and with physical media not supported and promoted by studios nearly enough, so much is in danger of being lost within a generation. And I’m not speaking of ancient black-and-white flicks from the ’30s — I’m talking about a lot of flicks that came out in the ’80s, ’90s, and 2000s that may be quietly vanishing.

One example would be Tourist Trap, a Disney TV movie that very few people know even exists, despite it starring Daniel Stern, Paul Giamatti, Julie Hagerty, and some dude named Ryan Reynolds. It only received a VHS release back in the day, and if it wasn’t for some kind soul who put this on YouTube, it’d be almost impossible to see otherwise.

And that’s a shame, because this is actually a pretty underrated flick that originally was supposed to get a theatrical release before studio execs decided to use it to fluff up The Wonderful World of Disney. It’s very much in danger of being forgotten forever, unless Disney decides to dig it out of its vault some day. I don’t trust in that, so consider this review (as with many others on this site) my way to preserve its memory.

In Tourist Trap, George (Stern) is a fairly nice guy who’s feeling as though his suburban family’s drifting apart and in dire need of some together time. With the convincing of his Civil War ghost ancestor Jeremiah Piper, George packs the fam into a giant RV and heads out on the road for adventure.

As they’re on the road, George discovers…

what?

what’s that?

Oh, the ghost thing? OK, I thought we could skim right past that, but here goes. George is an absolute Civil War nut — he’s got an amazing miniature battlefield in his attic — and has always been able to see and talk to his deceased great-great-grandfather Jeremiah, played by Giamatti. It’s that extra dash of weirdness that takes a genially entertaining flick and elevates it to a must-see.

Is it explained why George can see and talk to Jeremiah? Nope, he simply can. Deal with it. The two get along famously, and Jeremiah genuinely wants to help George connect with his family. George, in turn, wants to take the family on a trip following Jeremiah’s battles across the country.

Since this takes a page from the Vacation series, George’s well-meaning trip descends into chaos almost immediately. He knows very little how to best handle an RV, a guy has a bathroom emergency in their very midst, they get predictably lost, strange roadside attractions are explored, fishing leads to drowning, a Wild West showdown ensues, frisbees are tossed, and a cocky survivalist (played by the star of Sledgehammer!) gets under their skin.

This may be some of the most restrained acting I’ve seen from Daniel Stern, less manic overacting from his Home Alone and Bushwacked days and more of a slightly clueless and obsessive dork. It’s too bad that he doesn’t get more screen time with Paul Giamatti, who only periodically appears.

Margot Finley (D3: The Mighty Ducks) as the daughter Rachel was a standout with her humor and a bit of Gen X attitude. She gets into a cute romance with a young Ryan Reynolds, which is all kinds of surreal. Apparently she left the acting biz at the end of the decade for another career, which is a shame, because she’s a natural here.

I’m not going to say that Tourist Trap would’ve been the next Parent Trap if it had gotten that theatrical release, but it is genuinely engaging and could’ve become a comfort staple for a lot more people. I laughed a lot and had a great time hanging out with George and family — not to mention the great summer vacation vibes. Definitely give this one a watch you haven’t gotten enough snarky ghosts this week.

Intermission!

• This was written by Andy Breckman, who wrote Rat Race and made Monk
• Super old email — back when films would create these overly complex email application interfaces
• Memo Minder for parents who can’t be there to talk to their kids
• “Are you wearing a bra?” “No.” “I hope the answer’s yes.”
• Totally normal to have a carbine rifle on the wall of your office. Your BANK office.
• That’s a pretty cool battlefield he’s got in the attic
• All the people hot and dying against Jeremiah
• They didn’t have a lot of Civil War actors, so the filmmakers used people on both sides
• Ghosts like sleeping in bed with people, stealing the covers
• Ghosts can also shave and smoke
• “Are my sideburns even?”
• Nice little Home Alone reference
• “It’s a trick!”
• “Dad, can I drive?” “Not in this lifetime!”
• The gas lamp that turns into a blazing inferno
• This bathroom only has a curtain? That’s pretty poor design.
• THE WISCONSIN DELLS
• “That man has a bunny in his wagon… that means he is deranged.”
• Where is Thumpkin? is a call for an interstate war in some parts
• Who showers while driving?
• “That guy looks like dad!”
• “Why would I think you would be standing on the side of the road looking like Big Bird?”
• “Dad, some guy is sucking on Mom’s leg in the laundry room!”
• “I can incapacitate a 200-pound man with a frisbee.” “What if he doesn’t have a frisbee?”
• A stick and a pan can get you the time at night
• Daniel Stern with hippy hair, brrrr
• “So, I chopped it up for her.” ahahaha
• Jeremiah’s imaginary rope and Taps was pretty dang funny
• That’s a pretty great fake shootout
• “That’s the guy with the finger!”
• “Where’s the back door?” “We don’t have one.” “Where do you want one?”
• Frisbees are deadly
• I think that’s the director as Abe Lincoln. He’s a good hugger.
• You can choke out and beat up a ghost
• Those donuts? “They’re not jelly, they’re just old.”
• “Stay!”