“Brother, you take the prize. That’s the weirdest line for getting into my pants that I’ve ever heard, and I’ve heard ’em all.”

Justin’s rating: Data would learn a lot of what it means to be human from this film. Would probably corrupt him, though.

Justin’s review: Do you believe in movie coincidences? Because while I know there’s no actual connection or conspiracy happening here, how strange is it that a film called Android came out the same year as a big movie about androids called Blade Runner? Of course, practically no one heard of the former, as it was a low-budget scifi flick that Roger Corman actually tossed aside as not worthy of his time.

It’s the year 2036, and on a remote space station, a scientist named Dr. Daniel lives with his highly illegal and extremely dorky android, Max 404. Daniel is working on another android called Cassandra, despite androids being outlawed due to an uprising on earth. We all remember the android wars, right? Terrible time, that.

Complicating their quiet mad scientist lifestyle, a ship full of escaped prisoners is allowed to land — mostly because both Daniel and Max are hot for a date and the crew has a girl among them — and the intergalactic cops are following closely behind. There’s romantic tension and criminal tension and monkeying-with-bad-science tension, all brewing on this cute retro-futuristic station.

Max is utterly obsessed with the opposite sex but limited to “instructional videos” and little dolls as his primary outlets for romantic interactions. At least, until the convicts arrive. After all, when you’re a billion miles away from other humanity, you’ll take what you can get.

But while Max is dreaming of electric love, his creator Richard notes that he has the same sort of android disease that’s made similar models unstable and even homicidal in the past and quietly decides to terminate him.

Everyone’s harboring a powerful set of objectives, and it’s anyone’s guess who will come out on top. Max wants love and connection (not to mention survival). Daniel wants to activate his superior android and get rid of Max while snagging a date with the female convict on the side. The prisoners are thinking of killing the other two and making off with something valuable before the cops get there. And the space cops want to not be blown up, but it’s about to be a disappointing day for them.

Then there’s the wild card of Cassandra, the new android who comes online much later in the film. What she wants is a surprise that I’ll leave for you to discover.

My expectations were pretty low with this one, which meant that my mood got pumped up when I discovered that Android was pretty slick and entertaining… for what it was. The pacing is brisk, the characters subtly well-defined, and the humor welcome. I do wish that there was a more interesting story at the center, although Max 404 is so weird and off-kilter that he actually kept me guessing what the heck he was going to do next.

For a $1 million scifi flick from the ’80s, Android does A-OK. Sometimes “shallow” and “simple” is fine when all of the efforts are focused on delivering a situation that’s unfolding at a rapid pace.

Intermission!

• Enjoy those three seconds of stop-motion androids
• Sex involves shooting eye lasers at each other, according to animations. Also, bumping chests.
• Androids do love playing video games, though
• Could that guy have any more pins on his hat?
• “Your lips, they’re quite full, aren’t they?”
• The chicken button! I love the icon.
• Did that flower just explode?
• This guy’s a peeping Tom
• And now time to watch some Metropolis, why not
• AMAZING LASER EFFECTS WOW
• “I’ve never seen an android.” Oh yes you have.
• Head in the bottom drawer is the ultimate sign of contempt
• The dude loves his hat, what can I say