“I’m an actress, not a human sacrifice.”

Justin’s rating: No pottery was made or broken in the creation of this film

Justin’s review: Let’s once again dip into Roland Emmerich’s geeky, pre-Stargate filmography with another weird ’80s cross-genre trip. I have to admit that I’m developing a soft spot for his more daring indie days, even if those aren’t the films that people know him by.

Ghost Chase kicks off with two teenage filmmaking cousins, Warren (Jason Lively, the worst Russ from European Vacation) and Fred (Tim McDaniel) who are having a dickens of a time getting their slasher flick made. In a stroke of good luck, Warren is named in his grandfather’s will and inherits… a clock? Yes, a clock, but not just any clock: This clock contains the spirit of his grandfather’s butler Louis, and he knows where some serious money is hidden.

As one might suspect, spirit Louis soon inhabits the body of a butler robotic dummy and leads the boys and their friend Laurie (Jill Whitlow, Night of the Creeps) on a treasure hunt through some old family history. Opinions may vary on this, but I found that lisping Louis is more cute than freaky, even for a doll. I take it that this is Emmerich’s attempt to replicate a bit of that E.T. mania, just with wispy white sideburns.

This quest isn’t running unopposed — The Breakfast Club’s Paul Gleason has even more anger management issues than ever and is hot on their tail. He’s some sinister studio exec of the variety that insults every minion around him and makes a bumbling German dude follow the kids.

“Ghost Butler Robot” is not what I thought I’d be seeing going into this film. This is a gigantic pile of imagination and goofiness, slapping together practical effects, Hollywood, the supernatural, scifi, adventure, childlike wonder, and not just a bit of teen movie tropes. It’s a stew of a film that can’t pick a lane — and honestly doesn’t seem to want to.

There’s a cleverness at play here, with many creative setpieces and a lively soundtrack (sometimes a little too lively), if not a completely cohesive story. The middle grinds to a halt before revving back up for an ending in an ancient house with more ghosts. You can tell that this was still during the period where Emmerich was learning how to put together a film but hadn’t quite mastered it yet.

If the pacing was better and Warren wasn’t a continuous jerk who doesn’t deserve a red cent of buried treasure, I’d gladly parade Ghost Chase in the yearly B-movie festival (what, your community doesn’t have one? Pity.). Even with a heap of flaws, it’s got a charm that kept me glued to the screen. THAT’S how you grab the bull by the horns.

Intermission!

• I always appreciate an animated opening title sequence, even if it’s just eyes
• 39 takes on a scene is not a good sign
• Amazing ’80s high-tech lair!
• The thunderstorm behind the hotel sign is a really neat effect
• A football helmet is essential protection gear for a GHOST CHASE
• That castle coffee maker is weird, so weird
• This film is brought to you by Kellog’s entire cereal catalogue
• This soundtrack gets points for liveliness, that’s for sure
• Some Night of the Living Dead there for you
• How can Louis reach the gas and brake pedals?
• Wait, he just up and dies? “What a wimpy ghost.”
• “Hey, hey! Get your hands off that ape!”
• This basement has a full jail cell AND a suit of armor AND a fully functional spike trap?
• He’s literally burning money
• Wait, what’s with the skeleton fish?