“Didn’t you get my memo? A full eclipse protects me from everything, including silver.”

Justin’s rating: Where can I score some of them werewolf drugs, man?

Justin’s review: Sometimes it’s fun to fall down a rabbit hole of movies that a particular writer or director made, especially when you’re a big fan of their other works.

I’ve long been an admirer of director Anthony Hickox, whose enthusiasm and love for genre-blending gave us Waxwork, Waxwork II, Hellraiser III, and Warlock: The Armageddon, among others. And as an odd companion piece to 1989’s Sundown: The Vampire in Retreat, Hickox went to the other side of the horror aisle to tackle werewolves in 1993’s Full Eclipse.

I probably set my expectations way too high when I heard the premise for this flick, which is about a LAPD squad that is made up of werewolves. To be fair, there’s no budget high enough to meet my imagination on this topic. So I’ll take it as it is.

Mario Van Peebles (Gunmen) is Max — of the non-Mad and non-Payne variety — a slightly burned-out detective who’s invited to join a secret group of vigilante cops. But if you’re going to roleplay Batman on your off-hours, you’ve got to have an edge, preferably in the form of a questionable chemical drained from the brain of a werewolf.

Oh hey, as a random aside, did you know that injecting yourself with werewolf goo starts turning you into a werewolf too? They probably should put warning labels on that or something. Anyway, back to our scheduled review!

Max’s new crew is led by Adam Garou (Bruce “Blue Lips” Payne, Dungeons and Dragons), who’s definitely the alpha wolf and definitely the bad guy in cop’s clothing. Before Max and Adam get into a dogfight, they and the rest of the Pack get to go on some crime-busting expeditions as sort of superheroes. The problem is that a full eclipse is approaching, and that’s going to spell all sorts of bad things for this group of lycanthropes.

Probably the weak link here is Van Peebles, who acts a little too serious with too limited a range for a movie with such a campy theme. I distracted myself from him by trying to place his love interest, who I finally pegged as Patsy Kensit from Lethal Weapon 2 who I had a crush on as a teen.

You know how I said my expectations were high? Full Eclipse did pretty well trying to reach those. It’s an intense, slick, and — more than anything else — fun werewolf flick with a superhero flavor. A vigilante cop squad with special powers is a ticket to a good time, especially when you got Hickox bringing a lot of his trademark style to bear.

This translates into a film where everything’s a bit over-the-top, but you don’t mind. The soundtrack literally growls, cops surf buses while plugging bad guys, Max grabs two pistols and goes John Woo on everyone in slow-mo, people shoot pistols while also sporting bloody claws out the knuckles, scenes artfully fade into each other, and super healing factor makes it possible for our heroes to get hit numerous times with no ill effects.

Full Eclipse is pure, uncut cheese, and if you find cheese tasty (why wouldn’t you?), you’ll dine well on this even if it makes you constipated the next day.

Intermission!

• This guy is getting married for all the wrong reasons
• Throwing yourself down vent shafts doesn’t seem that wise
• So. Many. Blood. Squibs.
• The Robocop gun twirl
• I like the weird growls and jaguar roars on the soundtrack
• I do love that Max runs everywhere with dual pistols
• “Bionic X-Men” is a weird name-drop
• I can’t get over Max’s weird hairstyle with the small locks in the front
• Whoa that suicide was intense
• The claw marks on Jim’s desk
• “Bullets and buttheads!”
• Garou’s headpiece looks like Magneto
• Love the wolverine claws
• If you walk away from the altar, cop a big attitude about it
• Lady, what kind of bite-kiss are you going for there?
• This movie is a big “just say ‘no’ to drugs” ’90s message
• You just shot him to inject him — all that blood is going to make a huge mess on the carpet
• Dude she just rips the door like aluminum foil
• “Someone’s been bad…”
• Pro-tip: Don’t blow up a van full of werewolves, you just going to tick them off
• Throws a steering wheel on the desk: “We need a new vehicle.”
• “This is my brain. This is you on my brain. Any questions?”
• Maybe don’t jump out of a window if you’re not superpowered?
• When someone tells you to “lie down in my blood,” what do you have to lose?