“She’s an urban legend, sir. That woman died years ago.”

Justin’s rating: Greek ninja sounds like it should be a yogurt promotion

Justin’s review: It must be a weird brain infection that I have where I don’t care whatsoever about (most) modern MCU and DCEU films, but I’m quite nostalgic for and drawn to superhero flicks made prior to 2008. Maybe that’s because none of these were dipped into a slick and boring formula that Marvel films later become. Maybe it’s because they were a hot, hot mess of movies trying to be the next X-Men or Spider-Man.

Or in this case, because it was both the only spin-off to Ben Affleck’s Daredevil and the first Marvel movie starring a female hero. That’s something of note, yes? Plus, there’s been an increased awareness of this film following the deep cut of including Elektra in 2024’s Deadpool & Wolverine.*

Instead of an expected origin story for this random ninja who showed up to fight Affleck in a playground, Elektra serves as a sequel that follows her post-death adventures as an assassin who’s, y’know, a good assassin. I’m sure we all have at least one of those in each family.

So three small pet peeves I want to get out of the way. They need to be said. First is that it bugs me how Elektra does her job with long, free-flowing hair whipping every which way. That looks cinematic, I’ll admit, but it’s silly if you’re a precision killer who’s never heard of a scrunchie. Second is that it feels a little weird for an assassin to pick the sai as a signature weapon. As Raphael the turtle could tell you, those aren’t stabbing or slashing weapons, just disarming ones. And third, as much as I do like Jennifer Garner — Alias was the bomb, yo — she’s too nice and kind to play a character who was this hard-edged ruthless killer in the comics.

In this stand-alone flick, a resurrected Elektra turns her back on a contract and comes into direct conflict with The Hand,** an ancient organization of evil ninjas. So this isn’t so much a superhero flick as a ninja-vs-ninja one. Not that this is a dealbreaker, mind you! But I wouldn’t have minded some cross-comic pollination to spice things up. Heck, I would’ve settled for some basic continuity from Daredevil, but it seems that everyone forgot that Bullseye killed her dad in that film and had to come up with another parent-killing foe in this one.

It really feels like the screenwriters had a bankable star who could be made into her own headlining character… but didn’t have a clue how to weave a cohesive story around her. She’s a tortured soul, of course, which I know because the film goes into flashback overdrive every few minutes. I myself have frequent flashbacks to that dark year of the soul*** where I was set upon this course of great destiny.

As Elektra breaks out all sorts of Jedi-like superpowers, the Hand recruits a small rogue’s gallery of villains to take her out. These include Typhoid Mary, Kirgi, Stone, and a charming lad named Tattoo. So she takes the targets and seeks out her — and Matt Murdock’s — mentor Stick, played by the legendary Terrance Stamp, for advice.

For those raised on modern Marvel films, Elektra will shock you by how short (1 hour 40 min) this is. And yet it wastes so much of that time with plodding build up and an odd dedication to cramming in as many assassin film tropes as possible. Oh, and we also get a rather annoying teenage girl who comes down with a huge case of hero worship and even cuts her hair to look like Elektra’s.

By all accounts, Elektra was a rushed project, and it kind of shows. It’s not the worst of the early batch of 2000-era superhero flicks — despite the savaging it got from critics at the time — but it has a hard time standing out in any way. At least a stronger-than-expected soundtrack tries its best to inject life into tired, predictable story beats.

*Jennifer Garner is still crushing it, too. Good for her. She deserves another shot at this role.

**Speaking of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, the Foot are a satirical twist on Daredevil and the Hand, with special ooze in both stories granting powers. Oh, and the Hand are led by a guy named Stick, while the Turtles are taught by a rat named Splinter.

***1997.

Intermission!

• Elektra is going all-in on Greek letters, I see
• Ninjas like to scrub the floor every day to “get rid of their DNA”
• I actually do really like this soundtrack, it conveys a lot of energy
• NINJA-ORGANIZED FAKE FRUIT
• “In some parts of the world they just cut your hands off.”
• Why would you think that this stranger you just met by breaking into her house and stealing her necklace was “cool?”
• She got her warrior beads on eBay
• Is the bow the best weapon for a sniper attack? Really?
• Ninjas, when killed, evaporate into a green mist that no doubt smells like pine
• You can break your own neck by turning your head very quickly
• When your tattoo winks, that’s weird
• You don’t want Typhoid Mary to blow you a kiss
• The graffiti bird coming alive is cool
• Sitting and meditating is more important than learning to fight with weapons, apparently
• Typhoid Mary does have the most interesting powers, such as when plants keep dying all around her
• That is one weird kiss
• “Don’t mock me, I’m still your superior.”