“Lights, camera, and anguish.”

Justin’s rating: I did not know that wizards could double-major in college, but that shows my ignorance

Justin’s review: For the longest time — since I was a young teen until now — I thought that this movie was some sort of imagined thing. But no, I must’ve seen it way, way back in the day, and then actively blocked it from my mind for some reason? My only memory of it was a guy in a green mumu and that it was very, very weird.

But before the movie itself, a story behind the movie. Mike Jittlov was a special effects animator who created a short three-minute film called The Wizard of Speed and Time in 1979 as a way to get noticed by the Walt Disney company (it and another short he made were featured on Disney’s TV shows). After a very long road, Jittlov self-funded and self-produced his passion project of turning the short into a full-length feature film. This made virtually no splash when it arrived but gained traction in the years that followed as a quirky cult entry by a one-of-a-kind personality.

The Wizard of Space and Time is, in essence, a retelling of Jittlov’s life and his struggle to get a movie completed and noticed by Hollywood — albeit, with a whole lot more special effects and goofy music than was probably present the first time around. Jittlov himself plays Jittlov, a green-jacketed animator and inventor. Think Ernest meets Pee Wee Herman meets Weird Al.

Movie Jittlov is a gleeful, soft-spoken, upbeat film enthusiast who’s a self-made animator. He made a short film full of his odd creations that happened to get noticed by some desperate studio execs. And when I say “animation,” I’m not talking about cartoons. His style is mostly taking pictures and real objects and then making them move in all kinds of bizarre ways. Basically, lots and lots of stop-motion.

As this film blitzes through the plot, there’s some great sneeze-and-you’ll-miss-it barrage of snarky quotes. It’s clever, more so than you might expect from the affable and quiet-spoken lead. Mike ends up making a connection with an up-and-coming actress named Cindy who — wouldn’t you know it? — is going to be in his film.

But can an “effects man” step it up to make a feature film in an industry hobbled by unions and rules? Can this be any more self-referential?

There’s a sheer frantic pace to The Wizard of Speed and Time that kicks off in the first minute and doesn’t let up. Scenes are sped up, cuts are quicker than Michael Bay, everyone talks fast, there’s all the slapstick in the world, and nutty animated gadgets and gizmos are constantly whirring around the place. It feels like every part of this story is on fast-forward — and that can be absolutely exhausting to watch. As special as this all is, it could’ve been a lot better if scenes had a little more time to breathe.

Yet it’s impossible to shake the feeling that this is a completely unique product from a guy who cared a whole lot about it. Jittov’s animations never cease to be entertaining, either, and from what I can tell, he’s a pretty likable fellow just trying to share his passion with the world.

I guarantee you that you’ve never seen anything like The Wizard of Speed and Time. It’s barely a coherent story, but as a spectacle, it is the Great Pyramid of Giza. Scarcely a scene goes by without some bizarre special effect firing off, and it’s hard not to root for Jittov and his zany friends as they pursue their dream job.

This isn’t, as people often say, a love letter to Hollywood. It’s more like a giant middle finger to Hollywood, unions, and red tape — and a love letter to the true imaginations and creative drives who should be unleashed to do what they do best.

Intermission!

• I think I went blind from the opening credits
• “And maybe another dimension…”
• The Evil Dead and Dawn of the Dead at the movie theater
• “Oh no, it’s a cattle call!” “Moo.”
• Did he really ask what the difference was between color and black-and-white?
• “Careful mom, the toys are loose.”
• He doesn’t shake hands. Apparently, he doesn’t in real life either.
• “Why are you acting in this?” “Because I’m always available and very affordable.”
• Some light BDSM tossed right into the middle of this kids movie
• This movie does NOT like unions
• I like the animated dinosaurs
• His bike has one heck of a security system
• Mickey Mouse’s head just nuked the world
• “Nice asteroid!”
• Angry people should not have access to lightsabers
• “At least the bats and mosquitos are gone!”
• Don’t ever order a pizza “with everything on it”
• Could there BE any more slapstick?
• The toys starting to fire a laser barrage
• I love this dorky electronica soundtrack, it’s like a Disney parade from the ’70s
• “Where are you guys filming this, a combat zone?”
• The permit helicopters are so goofy
• THE BEDROOM SCENE
• You can pack a van with the phrase “Free pizza for everyone!”
• The Wonder Bread bus
• The suitcase car looks fun, but no brakes
• Jittlov really did hold his breath for two minutes under the pool
• “I don’t want my pool haunted by a green jacket.”
• “Lunar advertising without a permit!”