“You see? Now it’s too late.”

Drake’s rating: Well, my peace was certainly disturbed

Drake’s review: Guy Pearce is a pretty darn good actor, and he’s been in some pretty darn good movies. From L.A. Confidential to Memento to 2014’s The Rover, he’s shown himself to be a talented actor able to play a variety of roles. But even a good actor can find himself in a bad movie, and I have little doubt that at some point during the filming of Disturbing the Peace, Pearce thought to himself, “What the heck am I doing here?”

Because, as opposed to the good movies I mentioned above, Disturbing the Peace is a bad movie. In fact, it is a very bad movie.

A wannabe modern-day Western, Disturbing the Peace is an underwritten, overly violent mess that sees Pearce as Jim Dillon, a former Texas Ranger who retired and gave up his gun after accidentally shooting his partner. He now works as a lawman in a small town in Kentucky, where he still shuns the use of firearms in favor of a loaded sap to bring down the more hardened criminal types. Unfortunately for Dillon, his little town is about to be invaded by a gang of bikers looking to rob an armored truck and they’re not the types who fight fair. In fact, they’re ready and willing to kill whoever crosses their path.

Still, Dillon is a thinker, and at first he MacGuyvers his way through a few goons. But duct tape and a screwdriver isn’t going to be enough to stop the bikers, who are led by Diablo (Devon Sawa, Final Destination), an ornery sort who looks (and acts) not unlike a Community-era Anthony Michael Hall. No, to stop this unnamed gang of motorcyclin’ miscreants, Dillon will have to lock & load one more time and hope that his aim has gotten just a bit better since he last held a gun.

And… that’s the movie. Sure, there are other characters here, like the sneaky weasel of a mayor who wants to fire Dillon (even though Dillon seems to be a U.S. Marshal, and thus not fire-able by the mayor of Podunk, KY) because Dillon and the local diner owner are an item. And there’s the diner owner herself, who evidently takes MMA classes in her spare time. And Dillon’s deputy, who is so boring that I’ve already forgotten everything about him and can’t give you anything other than the fact that he exists in this movie. And they’re the notable characters.

Meanwhile, the bikers consist of Diablo, Psycho Guy, Old Guy, Unsure Guy, Other Psycho Guy, Hot Chick, and, of course, Branscombe Richmond?! What’s he doing here? I never thought he’d end up in anything worse than Aces: Iron Eagle III and then this happens. Oh, the humanity…

Sometimes, in a bad movie like this, some small hope shines through, a bit of clever dialogue or a bit-part player whose performance makes you hope that they might go on to bigger and better things. Like a Wendy’s commercial. Well, belay that hope if you ever find yourself watching Disturbing the Peace. While the direction occasionally flirts with near-competency*, the performances are often so bad as to be distracting. Seriously, I could build a reasonably sized boat from all the wooden acting on display here.

So what the heck was Guy Pearce doing in this mess, a flick that the actor himself called “just abysmal?” Well, it seems to be one of what he himself terms his “divorce films,” made for the simple reason that he needed money at the time. And that happens, and it’s not like Pearce just phones in his performance here. But, as a good actor it must have been difficult to read the lines he was given in Disturbing the Peace without rolling his eyes and letting out a mirthless guffaw or two. That would certainly be an understandable response to being in this movie, because it’s definitely a legitimate response to watching it.

*Which is the highest compliment I’ll give this movie.

Intermission!

• Note: Shooting the hostage doesn’t work out nearly as well if Keanau Reeeves isn’t the one doing the shooting.
• OK, let’s NEVER use the shaky cam again. Thanks.
• And Branscombe Richmond just got blown up. He’s probably relieved to be done with this flick.
• I’m actually impressed that the two women can pull off a fight scene in those tight jeans.
• Dillon’s crossing the street, getting shot at with an automatic weapon, and gets nary a graze. That’s some serious plot armor.
• The bikers in this flick don’t sport unified rockers, don’t seem to have a club name and Diablo’s diamond patch is all wrong. Man, they’re killing my immersion here.
• Aw, a happy ending. Happy for me, at least, because that means this movie is over!