“He was so sweet in the beginning — sending little love faxes all the time.”

Justin’s rating: Brought to you by Paul Newman popcorn

Justin’s review: You might think that a movie revolving around communications technology that existed at the cusp of the internet age and well before smartphones would be extremely dated today, but oddly enough, Denise Calls Up was quite prescient in its forecasting of close friends who talk, bond, and grow together while being physically separated. It’s kind of like 2020: The Movie if everyone had super-chunky phones and bulky laptops.

The idea for this indie flick is that there’s this group of seven NYC friends who are slightly agoraphobic and don’t get together that often, yet they also stay in almost-constant communication with phone calls, emails, and even faxes (remember those?). Almost the entire film bounces between the seven in their respective homes having various conversations with each other while studiously avoiding each other.

It’s not that long before this question starts hovering over the entire picture: If these people are actually friends, why are they going out of their way not to be together? Each keeps coming up with transparently lame excuses and sometimes going on solo excursions, but one does wonder if they’re under a very specific curse that will kill any of them if they come within 20 feet of each other.

In any case, between these somewhat charming and off-beat conversations are a few gradual plot threads. A few of the friends are trying to set up Jerry and Barbara, even though they’ve never met, and the titular Denise attempts to get to know the not-so-anonymous sperm donor who has now not-so-indirectly gotten her pregnant. Oh, and everyone sort of promises by the end to actually come to an in-person New Year’s Eve party together.

But these weak plot threads do not a solid plot make. Denise Calls Up nails the quirky, Seinfeldian conversations of ’90s indie but doesn’t have much of a story to go with it. And not having the actors physically in the same space is a lot more limiting for character interactions.

I also need to include a specific disclaimer that this movie has perhaps one of the most awkward and cringy “phone sex” scenes I’ve ever had the misfortune to witness. I mean, if you want a dialogue-free scene where people rub these gigantic receivers over hairy torsos while eating lollipops, well, Denise Calls Up has you covered. You freak.

In the end, Denise Calls Up needed something more, perhaps a couple somethings more — such as a lot more humor — to congeal into a more fully formed movie. It’s an interesting idea, and I adored Denise’s off-kilter dialogues and how she’d keep calling Martin from various weird places (including an amusement park ride, a ferry, and a horse-drawn carriage). Tim Daly and Liev Schreiber give this some star power as well.

It’s just not enough. The whole effort kind of feels a slightly tedious stage play of a friend that you’d attend (because you’re a normal human being who actually sees your friends) and give them a pity compliment about how this was quite introspective.

Intermission!

• All of those leftovers from the party — why didn’t you put them away before now?
• Those adorably chonky 1995-era laptops
• Such incredibly loud keyboard
• Denise’s first call to Martin is adorable
• “Our relationship is brand-new, brand-new Mary! And already broken promises!”
• The picture of the kid made me laugh
• Don’t take calls while on the can
• Denise calling Martin while on a fairground ride is funny
• “Daddy?” “Son!”
• “Half her face is gone. Her aunt was very explicit in regards to the details.”
• Martin’s baby name suggestions are the worst