“Nice talking to you, babe! It IS babe, isn’t it?”

Drake’s rating: All the ‘80s everywhere, all at once

Drake’s review: It might come as a surprise to many of you, but Crown International Pictures was still alive and kicking in the ‘80s! All right, “kicking” might be a wee bit of an exaggeration, but the studio that had given us such drive-in fare as Satan’s Slave and The Van in the previous decade was still in the business of making movies throughout the 1980’s, and still turning out four or five films a year.

Crown’s output varied, with teen sex comedies, thrillers, martial arts flicks, and the occasional drama hitting the big screen like clockwork before turning up at your local video store several months later. And there’s little doubt that My Chauffeur was probably intended to fill that sex comedy niche for their 1986 release schedule, but it really doesn’t. Granted, there’s a bit of nudity and a few sex-related jokes, but for the most part My Chauffeur is a screwball comedy that takes its cues from His Girl Friday and Mr. & Mrs. Smith rather than Porky’s.

Our heroine and titular chauffeur is Casey Meadows (Deborah Foreman, Valley Girl), a young woman in Los Angeles just trying to make ends meet. Out of the blue she gets an offer to be a driver at a prestigious limousine service and, figuring that it beats washing dishes, she eagerly accepts. Unfortunately, the service is run by a fellow named McBride (Howard Hesseman, Bigfoot), and he is vehemently opposed to a lady-type woman barging in and disrupting his service, which has until now employed only male drivers.

Fortunately for Casey, McBride can’t do much about it since she was personally hired by Mr. Whitherspoon, the company’s owner. Still, McBride isn’t one to give up easily, and he’s certain that he can get rid of Casey and end this threat to his little men’s club by giving her some very unforgiving clients.

And right off the bat the screwball hijinks ensue, as Casey’s maiden voyage into the world of chauffeuring has her taking a drunken, wasted punk rocker named Cat Fight to his concert venue. Easier said than done, considering Cat Fight is a belligerent sort, but Casey takes no guff. She might be an adorable ball of frenetic energy, but she’s also serious about wanting to drive the limousines.

Even Casey’s good nature is tested when she’s put in charge of driving around Battle (Sam J. Jones, Flash Gordon), however. A testy sort only interested in making money, he’s left with Casey after being given the dump of all dumps by his girlfriend. One serious drinking binge followed by a naked run through the park later, and Casey has to take him to her apartment since he’s far too inebriated to tell her where he lives. Don’t cue the violins yet, though. Battle isn’t exactly the romantic type. In fact, he’s something of a jerk. Still, if anyone can break through his square-jawed jerkiness, it’s going to be Casey.

Outside of the Casey/Battle romance, My Chauffeur is largely broken into a series of vignettes as Casey interacts with her fellow drivers and drives clients around Venice, West Hollywood, and Los Angeles. Some of these scenes land better than others, but for the most part they drive along the plot with good humor and keep the film a light affair. This is a very breezy, very ‘80s flick, and if you’re in the mood for that, you’re going to have a good time with it.

Of all the films that she was in, this is the one that should have landed Deborah Foreman roles in larger movies, including zany comedies and romcoms. But due to forces far outside of Foreman’s control, the film instead went unpromoted* and quickly faded from view. Still, if you want to see Flash Gordon and everyone’s favorite Valley Girl end up living happier ever after, then this is definitely the movie for you.

Just be careful accepting rides from Johnny Fever. That dude is not taking the ‘80s well.

*Evidently, someone at Crown International lied about the film’s box office and claimed to the trades that it was the #1 film. When that was proven not to be true, Crown pulled Foreman off of all her appearances to promote the movie and slashed the theater bookings.

Intermission!

• I’m not sure I’d be comfortable being driven around by the little old guy who looks like he might have been on a first name basis with Benjamin Franklin.
• Poodle-fu!
• Cat Fight: Yet another in the long line of what Hollywood mistakenly thought punk rock looked and sounded like.
• Have you ever heard of the Wigs? No? Well, you’re going to hear a lot of their music during this movie. A LOT.
• They’re a hundred miles away from L.A. and they run into hillbillies. Again, Hollywood.
• That is indeed Penn Jillette and his partner Teller playing the grifter and the sheik.
• Director David Beaird later created the short-lived TV series Key West, which was also full of kooky characters. It too faded from view much too soon, but it’s well worth seeing if you ever get the chance.