“How is it possible you failed? You’re a bunch of idiots!”

Drake’s rating: Never eat orange fish sticks

Drake’s review: The sharp-eyed among you may have noticed that, in my now 100 (!) Mutant Reviews, I have yet to tackle a superhero movie. In fact, I generally breathe a sigh of relief whenever orders to attend the monthly Mutant Roundtable show up in my email sans any mention of writing about filmic superheroics. That’s not to say I don’t like superheroes, or comic books (or graphic novels). In fact, I have quite a collection myself and am quite willing to wax on about the artistic talents of John Buscema, Jim Starlin and George Perez, or engage in a debate over who was the best writer on The Avengers (Steve Englehart, of course). And this is all without even touching upon what I consider to be the Great American Comic Book, Love & Rockets by Los Bros Hernandez.

But I also find that the comics medium, for me, doesn’t always translate well to the big screen. Superhero comic books are a long-form medium (in many cases, decades long) and the resulting sprawling, messy, glorious soap operas don’t always translate well into a short-form medium such as a movie. Making the movie means cutting away all that charming mussiness and turning out a slimmed-down version of a character or storyline that can fit comfortably inside two hours.

OK, maybe three hours. I hear the supers flicks are getting longer all the time.

Still, my favorite movies that have been adapted from the comic book medium are Blade and The Rocketeer. Unencumbered by years of backstories, plotlines, and additional characters, both characters could make the leap to the big screen without leaving too much of themselves behind.

But, y’know, I ran into one of those darn blu-ray sales and before common sense could prevail, I was the proud owner of a Mexican movie made to capitalize on the wave of Batmania that swept across the world in the 1960s.

So, yes, I now own The Bat Woman (La Mujer Murcielago), which crams superheroics, James Bond, The Creature from the Black Lagoon and lucha libre* all together into one wild trip that would have had Adam West murmuring, “Hang on, old chum!” Bereft of much in the way of special effects (and bereft in much of the way in costuming for star Maura Monti), The Bat Woman nonetheless grabs hold of the ridiculousness of the superhero comic book and takes it on a low-budget ride through beautiful Acapulco, daring the audience along the way to find the titular heroine, a beautiful woman whose skills with pistol and wrestling are matched only by her considerable wealth, any more absurd than Bruce Wayne’s caped and cowled alter ego.

So what we have here is the requisite mad scientist, Dr. Eric Williams (Roberto Cañedo), complete with his very own Igor (Carlos Suárez), attempting to create a race of fish-men with which he will rule the world. But to create those fish-men he needs the pineal glands of men. Strong men. Combative men. Men full of vigor. In other words, this being Mexico, he needs luchadores!

But wrestlers turning up dead (and without their pineal glands) has a way of drawing the interest of the authorities. And, since even said authorities are unsure of what to do, they contact Bat Woman to solve the case. Why Bat Woman? Well, she’s an expert pistoleer, a master of the equestrian arts, and an expert wrestler to boot. In fact, her skill in lucha libre means she’ll be able to easily go undercover in her wrestling guise to search for clues to this deadly mystery.

Director René Cardona was certainly no stranger to the world of Mexican wrestling films, having already made movies with lucha libre stars El Santo and Neutron. What’s surprising here is that the action in the ring is fairly limited, with Bat Woman** wrestling only a single match. Now whether that’s due to the fish-men plot being deemed more important than the wrestling, or the inability of Monti to wear her bikini in the ring is up to debate.

And, as the great George Takei might say, oh my! The trademark of the Bat Woman is her costume, consisting of boots and gloves, a bat-themed mask and short cape, and a bikini that was no doubt considered skimpy even by the broadening standards of 1968. It’s a credit to Monti that she never wavers in her command of the film, shooting, tossing and slugging the bad guys with abandon even though she’s dressed more for a day in the sun than a fight for her life.

And it’s interesting as well that The Bat Woman, although obviously influenced*** by the Batman television series, never delves into the same campy atmosphere. For the most part the film is played straight, with lengthy stretches of underwater shooting that bring to mind Thunderball rather than Batman. It was a good decision, and the film probably stands up today as well as it did nearly 60 years ago because of it.

So how well does it stand up? Surprisingly well, in all honesty. Taking advantage of the beautiful natural scenery, Cardona and cinematographer Agustín Jiménez shot a great looking movie that’s a real snapshot of the time. Although the plot delves into the more ridiculous elements of comic book lore, it’s still right at home given the era it was filmed in. Make no mistake: the absurdity of its comic book origins are on full display in The Bat Woman, but that’s just part of its charm. Granted, this is no replacement for Captain America unearthing a decades-long government infiltration by Hydra, but it’s still a pretty fun time with a superhero flick that was made way back when the genre was almost entirely unrepresented at the box office.

And let’s face it, not every superhero is pragmatic enough to work on their tan while fighting crime.

*That cultural phenomenon that takes the age-old battle of good and evil and puts it into a wrestling ring peopled by high-flying masked wrestlers with names like Mistico, Super Crazy, and El Satánico.

**Although Maura Monti did her own stunts and swimming for the movie, she did tag in a double trained in lucha libre for the wrestling scene.

***”Influenced” is probably too light a word, but to be fair, Batman co-creator Bob Kane was also “influenced” by a number of comic strip artists, so it’s not like this doesn’t run in the Bat Family.

Intermission!

• I dunno. When you’re creating your terrifying fish-man, you might want to use a shark instead of a goldfish. An orange fish-man doesn’t really looks scary.
• Dr. Williams’ boat is called Reptilicus. You just know that with a name like that he’s up to no good.
• Bat Woman doesn’t have a fancy Batmobile, but she does have a black Thunderbird with a red racing stripe on the hood.
• In her first confrontation with Dr. Williams, Bat Woman throws acid in his face to escape. He’s left with a scarred face for the rest of the film, bringing to mind the Batman nemesis Two-Face (a character that was understandably absent from the 1960s TV series).
• It’s really funny that Bat Woman wears a grey bodysuit in the wrestling ring, making her look even more like Batman.
• I know awkwardly wrestling in the surf with a stuntman in an orange fish-man costume will never replace the high-octane stunt work and CGI of modern supers flicks, but at least The Bat Woman skips the BIFF! BAM! POW! cartoon graphics.
• Be prepared for some truly ‘60s color combinations in this movie. Green and pink? Sure! Why not?