“That’s not because there are more ghosts here than other places, mind you. It’s just that people who live here about are strangely aware of them. You see, day and night, year in, year out, they listen to the pound and stir of the waves. There’s life and death in that restless sound. And eternity too.”

Sitting Duck’s rating: Installing safety railings at a cliff edge that leads to a sheer drop into the ocean is for namby-pamby wusses

Sitting Duck’s review: So originally I was going to use the 2021 movie The Ghosts of Borley Rectory as my haunted house film for this year’s Halloween week. I have some familiarity with old timey ghost hunter Harry Price and his investigation of what he dubbed “The Most Haunted House in England.” Anyway, it had been sitting in my Tubi watchlist for some time, and now seemed as good a time as any to view it.

What followed was an hour and twenty minutes of pure, unadulterated meh, occasionally punctuated with an obnoxious fakeout scare. The inherent blandness made it near impossible for me to think of anything to say about it. Not even the presence of the unjustly maligned Doctor Who could make things interesting.

When you’re stuck for a review, sometimes it helps to revisit an old favorite. In this case, I went with The Uninvited (no, not that one), which was available at the local library in DVD form. Based off the Dorothy Macardle novel Uneasy Freehold, in many respects it was a groundbreaking movie. Prior to its release, haunted house movies were comedies and/or the supernatural activity featured would prove to be a hoax (though an “Or iiiiis iiiiit?!?!?” stinger might be included).

In contrast, The Uninvited handled the premise with the upmost seriousness. While that certainly ups the horror cred, how well has this 80-year-old movie really aged? Sure, it’s part of the Criterion Collection, something that is often regarded as a sign of quality. But so is Godzilla vs Megalon.

Our story opens with siblings Roderick and Pamela Fitzgerald (Ray Milland and Ruth Hussey, respectively) on holiday in Cornwall. While strolling through the countryside, Pamela’s dog gets loose to chase a squirrel into an abandoned old house. As they go in to remove the wretched mutt, they can’t help but notice how the interior is in remarkably good shape, with nary a wino or patch of graffiti in sight.

Pamela is enamored and thinks they should abandon their current London residence and move into the place. While Roderick is not so enthused, Pamela remarks that getting away from the hubbub of the city would allow him to focus on his true desire to compose his own music rather than just write snarky reviews about other people’s compositions and how bad they are.

They go back into town to look up the property’s current owner Commander Beech (Donald Crisp), who is willing to part with it for the suspiciously low figure of twelve hundred quid. After they finish moving in, they find out it’s because the place has ghosts and not a silverfish-infested basement. Specifically, two spirits which manifest at night; one of a sobbing woman and the other a malign presence in the upstairs studio. What’s more, these manifestations become more intense when the Commander’s granddaughter Stella (Gail Russell) is present.

Clearly there are some dark, dirty family secrets waiting to be uncovered.

The one aspect of The Uninvited that is most frequently praised is the cinematography. And for good reason: It’s faaaaab-u-looouuus. The use of non-electrical lighting in the house during the night scenes and the resulting shadows evoke a very spooky mood. This is further enhanced by the movie being shot in black-and-white. And though there are only a few instances of the ghosts visually manifesting, the effects work is reasonably effective.

Another plus is how the movie handles its Composite Character. To contrast, the textbook example of a poorly executed Composite Character is Glinda the Witch of the North in The Wizard of Oz. In the book, Locasta the Witch of the North was the one who provided Dorothy with the magic slippers, while Glinda the Witch of the South tells Dorothy how to use them to get home. Presumably Locusta had been ignorant of these capabilities. But by combining these two characters, the screenwriters give the impression of Glinda being a not-so-good witch who deliberately withholds this key information from Dorothy, which gets handwaved at the end with the copout line, “You wouldn’t have believed.”

In the case of The Uninvited, we get a bunch of minor characters (among them the village priest and the Fitzgeralds’ London buddies) condensed into another minor character in the person of Doctor Scott. Thankfully, none of the characters had any serious conflicting traits, making the resulting consolidation reasonably convincing.

Acting is competent across the board for the most part. However, I must contradict the majority on one point. Many others who praise this film like to note how wonderful Gail Russell is in portraying Stella as a vulnerable ingenue. That may be true. But the whole time she’s on screen, I’m constantly distracted by her terrible fake British accent. I can make allowances for how this was her first movie, but they only stretch so far.

There are a couple of points where the film has not aged too well. The romance between Roderick and Stella is heavy on the melodramatics that were popular at the time (the fact that Milland was 39 and Russell was 19 also makes it feel a touch skeevy). The attempts at levity can also be rather hit and miss, tilting more in favor of miss. But one point where things could have gone wrong but didn’t is how the narrative takes a couple of the hoarier Gothic tropes and subverts them. I won’t tell you what they are, as it’s better to experience them yourself.

Intermission!

• Geez, another And Introducing credit
• And now you have rabies!
• You didn’t even try!
• I’ve never thought of Bleak House as recreational reading
• Spoiler Alert for Spanish speakers
• Sleeeeeeeeeep!!!!!
• Should have cleaned up earlier
• Getting some Mrs. Danvers vibes here
• Objection! Counsel is leading the witness
• She’s easy to convince
• Cukoo cukoo bibbity bibbity bibbity
• Good thing it’s not easy to run in heels
• Obligatory MST3K Connections: Alan Napier (Dr. Scott) portrayed Elinu in The Mole People. Elizabeth Russell (Mary Meredith) portrayed Countess Lorenz in The Corpse Vanishes. Composer Victor Young was stock music composer for Radar Men from the Moon. Art director Ernst Fegté was production designer for The Amazing Transparent Man. Makeup artist Wally Westmore was makeup supervisor for Village of the Giants and The Space Children. Visual effects technician Farciot Edouart was visual effects technician for Village of the Giants and The Space Children. Costume jeweler Eugene Joseff was costume jeweler for The Mad Monster, The Corpse Vanishes, and The Brute Man.