“I got a 24-karat case of love!”

Anthony’s rating: Snoogans, man, total Snoogans!

Anthony’s review: I don’t think it’s ever been the point of any Kevin Smith movie to be “good.” His cinematic resumé is as wild as his hetero life-mate Jason Mewes and the quality of it all varies from studio-friendly to the movie equivalent of MS Paint. Because even though he is always referred to as a Filmmaker, Smith is, if anything, a storyteller, and film isn’t necessarily the medium where that talent of his shines the most.

So instead of asking if the film is good, when it comes to the Jersey Boy, you ask if it’s enjoyable.

And full disclosure, it’s been some time since I said that about him. Podcasts? Hells yeah, bring ’em on. Comic books? Don’t mind if I do. Films? Eh… not really since Zack & Miri. Red State and Tusk were interesting examples of alternative horror films, yet you could feel the quality dipping as sharply as the budget. Yoga Hosers was probably the reason Smith stopped toking and was wholly unwatchable. I made it nine minutes into Jay & Bob Reboot before switching to the grass-growing channel, Clerks 3 had none of the verve (or budget) that made the second a generational manifesto, and has ANYONE even SEEN Killroy Was Here?

Also, in between all of that there’s been a flurry of promised projects that never came to pass: Moose Jaws bit it, Hit Somebody just won’t, Mallrats 2 keeps getting boogaloo’d and GOD I would actually pay, not use… websites, to see what he had planned for Fletch with Jason Lee.

But then out of seemingly nowhere this year came The 4:30 Movie, whose trailer I stumbled on by chance a little while back and thought, “Wait, this looks… good?” I really struggled between hope for finally enjoying a Smith movie again versus not letting my expectations ruin it.

So, to whether it is good of enjoyable, I shall say this: It’s a happy movie. And that. Was. Refreshing.

Watching this very simple story with these very silly characters unfolding made me feel like our maestro of the tale found his way back to the sandbox of his youth, literally, and just wanted to tell us a story. HIS story. Beat me up with a tractor shaft for saying so, but I couldn’t help being reminded of ol’ Sam Clements himself, letting himself be a kid again when he went back to the source and gave us Tom Sawyer. I’m not saying Smith made an American classic, I’m saying the sharp turn reminded me of Mark Twain.

The plot follows Brian David, a mid-80s teenager who finally found the proverbial guts while making himself a donut to call the girl he’s been in love with for a long time. Lucky for him, she likes him too, so a date is set to meet at — wait for it… steadyyyy… — the 4:30 showing of an R-rated movie.

That plan spoils the fun of his two stooges, Belly and Burny, with whom Brian was slated to spend the day at the local multiplex paying for one movie but sneaking into others all day. And threatening all their plans are two overbearing mothers and a ban for life imposed by the peculiar theater manager.

Thus, Brian has to find a way to make the date happen or else his love life is over for ever because… teenagers. It also all happens to be semi-autobiographical, as Brain David is a facsimile of the director himself.

And really, that’s it, that’s the story. Though simple, it is plenty. In many ways, it’s not as much a film about or set in the 1980s — it IS a 1980s film, and that’s coming from a Gen Xer who could have been any of the three main dudes. The story is straight-forward, doesn’t try to convey a deep-rooted metaphor, has a political message, and doesn’t want to change the world. It’s simply about a young guy looking to unite his two greatest passions: watching movies and being with the girl he’s loved for a long time.

“Today could be a movie,” he tells her at some point, one of many self-winks the author inserts throughout, and I couldn’t agree more. We’ve ALL had such simply yet awesome day in each of our lives that could be an awesome ’80s movie. Smith is among those who went ahead and filmed it.

That said, I must mention some annoyances, as there always are in Kev’s flicks (and they are usually the same). These start with his roster of close friends making obligatory cameos. If it serves the story then fine, but if it’s just for the sake giving Justin Long a chance to improv, his daughter a chance (at trying) to act, or Jason Mewes a chance to be Jason Mewes, just move along nothing to see here, as you’ve done that a dozen times already.

I will, wholeheartedly, remove that criticism when it comes to Jason Lee. The dude has been much too absent from our screens in recent years, and here he plays a proxy to Smith’s own late father Donald, whom any Smith fan will know how much the director is fond of. Lee clearly understands the task, and in his 30 seconds, he shows us all why he was such a beloved patriarch.

Perhaps more notedly is the familiar pattern taken by the story. After a falling out between Brain David and the testosterone-on-legs Burn, the latter wanders and accidentally meets his hero, a Sargent Slaughter-like wrestler (deliciously played by Sam Richardson) who turns him around by sharing a slice of life-worn wisdom. If you can’t recognize a crucial plot point from Mallrats, then why are you even reading this? It’s had to say if our tale-spinner was just lazy or simply made that part of his trip down memory lane, but either way it was for a moment distracting in its familiarity.

Oh, and Kev, we get it, things have changed a LOT since the decade of excess, no need to make jokes about it every 30 seconds. Especially as the “Cosby is an American treasure” one felt a little in bad taste.

But those annoyances, unlike the aforementioned recent slate of SmodCo films, barely register thanks to the sheer fun the trio of protagonists seem to be having. Those guys know what their director means to legions of fans, and they know they’re headlining something special, so they clearly did their homework and went all out to be worthy of the fandom.

The result is a light, jolly-hearted and brisk watch. Young Austin Zajur, introduced to the VewAskewniverse as Silent Bob-wannabe Blockchain in Clerks 3, is a superb fit to play a younger version of the bearded one, and his two scene-stealing partners Reed Northup and Nicholas Cirillo both never shy away from biting down hard in every line written for them. The wrestling moment between gave me quite the chuckles, I admit without shame.

There’s sadly little chance that The 4:30 Movie will be remembered as iconic as the initial trio of movies that made Kevin Smith the geeks’ messiah he is today, especially since the TV and movie markets have been saturated with 1980s-themed projects ever since Stranger Things took the world by storm, but it is a very welcome step back in the right direction as a filmmaker for a guy who spins a yarn like few others could.