“What are you?” “The fuzz.”

Justin’s rating: But does he have rabies?

Justin’s review: Listen up, ladies and gents, because today we’ve got an all-star showdown in the movie deathmatch arena! On the antagonist side of the cage is a bunch of shapeshifting cultists who are terrorizing a small town (including killing their puppies and kitties). And then, over on the anti-hero side, is WOLFCOP. Part man, part wolf, all cop. And he’s just declared hunting season on anyone who smells bad.

Wolfcop comes from the genre where filmmakers set up an irresistible premise and then either live or die trying to make the movie live up to that concept. Snakes on a Plane? Great premise, kind of lame execution. Megaforce? Amazing setup, pretty solid delivery.

By dangling “werewolf cop who fights Satanists,” you’re going to automatically get a good amount of butts in the seat. But with so many ways to go wrong, is it feasible that this lycanthrope law officer got it right?

Well, there’s a sequel, so… probably?

Woodhaven isn’t your idyllic American small town — it’s more like a dystopia. The very small sheriff’s office is unable to keep up with the rising crime, especially with one-third of its staff inebriated most of the time. People and their pets are missing, a secret cabal runs things, and any challenges to the dark order tends to get his throat ripped out.

This alcoholic cop is Lou (Leo Fafard), and you can sense that his escape into the bottle is the only way he can cope with how everything’s gone to the dogs. His tipping point isn’t a poignant TED talk but rather a midnight encounter with cultists in the woods. Instead of killing Lou, the cultists carve a pentagram into his torso, which somehow infects him with werewolfyness.

Now he’s growing hair faster than ever before, smelling everything more keenly, and eager to leverage his superhero abilities on the trash that’s polluting his turf and murdering a mayoral candidate. Believe it or not, the bad guys want him to be a werewolf because they need his blood for a ritual, but they didn’t bank on him finding a spine and a newfound passion for law enforcement.

He’ll have some help, too, as his fellow deputy and lifelong friend Tina and his conspiracy theorist pal Willy are game for some town cleanup. Now it’s a race to stop the cultists before “The Reckoning” takes place.

Be advised: This movie isn’t afraid to get goopy and gory with its copious practical effects. I’ve always thought that werewolf movies see it as a challenge to outdo the transformation sequences in all of the werewolf movies that came before it. This one is pretty gnarly and will make the men cross their legs. And when Lou really gets going with his rampages, he gets quite savage.

Wolfcop isn’t some sort of cynical effort on the part of a major studio. Rather, it was a crowdfunded Canadian passion project that puts to mind how Sam Raimi got his start back in his ultra-indie days. In fact, Wolfcop exhibits pretty clear Evil Dead influences, especially with its in-your-face zooms and cuts. There’s even a montage scene where Lou transforms his sheriff’s car into the Wolfmobile, and if that isn’t Ash and his chainsaw hand, I don’t know what is.

It also shares a devotion to Raimi’s black humor. There are tons of moments where the movie lightens up with a quip or sight gag, and that helps to keep this balanced and not tipping over into truly dark territory. Other werewolf flicks like An American Werewolf in London, Ginger Snaps, and Dog Soldiers have a measure of this, but Wolfcop definitely leans into the laughs more.

While this could’ve been an all-time great, Wolfcop definitely earns the lower status of a B-movie. It’s too short, for one, and the final 20 minutes are a much fuller act slimmed down. Betrayals, revelations, conspiracies, lizard people, solar eclipses, rituals, machine guns, so many close-ups, and wolfing out is crammed into a messy finale. It just had too many ideas for such a short flick, and I suspect that the budget was the main culprit for this.

It was certainly a strange oddity and not the worst time of my life. Wolfcop rises above its one-note joke to be something creative and genuinely lively.

Intermission!

• These opening credits come at you hard
• He’s not having a good start of the day
• Piggies!
• This movie looooves its zooms
• The full moon when Lou is investigating the woods
• Super sniff powers! And the hair is growing back pretty fast…
• Bob shows up to a crime scene with a donut in his mouth
• Drink ‘n Shoot canceled! No!
• “We’re closing early tonight. Down it or drain it.”
• Peeing blood, ouch
• The various colors of the moon
• “What was that? Thank you, Willy, for helping me? You’re welcome.”
• Why does Willy have wolfsbane?
• “You may or may not start to get your period.”
• Tina playing with the face
• Could’ve done without the eye bit
• “Hey! You got any books on devil worship?” is a good thing to shout very loudly in a library
• “You guys makin’ a movie?”
• “I’ll be back in one minute… and 45 seconds.”
• Werewolf cops love their donuts
• “Lou, you’re a wolf!” “COP.”
• The robber fainting at wolfcop
• “Lou, don’t forget to murder somebody else on the way to the car. Low profile, man!”
• WOLFMOBILE
• Wolfcop peeing on the graffiti guys
• You can lose your face and still be alive for a while
• “We need to lay low, there’s a guy running around here with no face.”
• The bartender as Little Red Riding Hood
• This love scene is pretty much just a long, cheesy, and dumb music video
• Now he lost the other eye
• Is that a blunderbuss?
• Ever see a werewolf shooting a machine gun? Come on down.
• A flask full of liquor = supercharged power
• “I could use a drink.” “I could use a hospital.”
• And we go out on the Wolfcop rap