“I’ve spent half my life wondering how we got this far without killing each other off. Now I know. I’m still not sure I like it.”

Anthony’s rating: Full of fun ’70s goodies!

Anthony’s review: Although it is classified as a TV movie, The Questor Tapes is one of those failed pilots your grandparents told you about.

A quick history refresher for those too young to remember when phones had no screen and were bolted to the kitchen wall next to the fridge: In the ’70s, there were only three TV networks, cable was in its infancy, and “streaming” meant going to the bathroom. Those three networks reigned supreme, and any actor, director, producer or writer was incredibly lucky if they managed to not only land a series order but actually see it become a hit. Before getting there though, you had to show the bigwigs a proof of concept: a pilot episode that would encompass what your show would be about and what it would look like. And since the network paid for the damn thing, if they turned it down, they would recoup their investment by broadcasting it as a “movie of the week.”

Gene Roddenberry knew all about that process. His one successful previous series, about the shirt-ripping captain and the alien with pointed ears, had required two pilots before being greenlit, and that was after production company Desilu agreed to shoulder a large chunk of financing by themselves. That one, Star Trek, lasted only three seasons because of low ratings. Yet once cancelled, something weird happened: It became a huge hit in syndication.

So Rod’s previous partners, mainly at Paramount, came asking if he had other ideas. A handful of them went to pilot, none of them bore fruit, but The Questor Tapes stood apart because Roddenberry himself pulled the plug rather than cave to network demands of changes to be made.

And you know what that means — it was ahead of its time.

The film concerns a team of university scientists who are building an incredibly advanced android. However, the big problem is that its lead scientist vanished without a trace, and the “tapes” needed to program his creation are missing crucial parts. The team’s attempt to use their own programming fails, so the creator’s sidekick uses the original tapes. Only once everyone gives up does the android wake himself up, and recruits the sidekick to help him find his “father” before the nuclear “furnace” in his chest overloads and explodes.

I won’t go into spoilers because the end twist, delivered with rushed exposition, is worth the watch if you’re a fan of Gene’s personal brand of science anticipation. Let’s just say the scientists didn’t know what they were playing with, and the machine they unleashed has a world-saving job to do.

I must admit I am torn between regret The Questor Tapes never went further… and grateful for it, too. While Star Trek showed us a future humanity that has overcome its darkness, this one brings the same optimism but at a time before we managed to get our act together. As such, I would have loved to see the stories that could be told within the concept, but then again it was the ’70s and network weren’t ready, or able, to tell the kinds of stories we can now see on Apple+ or Netflix or any other place that takes a chance on edgy storytelling.

Props, if not for dialogue which quickly becomes repetitive, but for the actors delivering them. A pre-M*A*S*H Mike Farrell perfectly plays the diffident and idealistic sidekick, while TV fixture Robert Foxworth gives an amazingly smooth and realistic performance as the android with a heart of radioactive gold. Pushing the heroes to their limit is the late-great John Vernon, whose perfectly clear, deep voice never ceased to remind me of Orson Welles in warmth and tone. Matter of fact, if you’re around MY age, you’ll recognize most of the faces found onscreen as most of them, like Vernon and Foxworth, were synonymous with ’70s and ’80s Television.

Should you not be versed in the televised entertainment of the era, you might have a hard time ignoring the weird music, the stoic direction, the lower quality cinematography, and everything else that makes it a true offering of 1974. But the ideas hinted are some that still feel progressive or, at the very least, relevant. The inability of humans to save their own society, the rise of artificial intelligence and its implication, the role of governments in our evolution, and sheer frailty of reinforced steel doors are all things that we love to see on TV today.

There has been a few attempts at adapting the concept, notably by Ron Howard in the late ’90s and by Roddenberry’s own son in 2010. In a way, though, we DID get to see the main character grow, in the form of Star Trek’s Data. Both characters share the same outlook and demeanour. Many of the hinted storylines for Questor himself (like his ability to have sex) were explored in Stark Trek: The Next Generation.

Still, given the current advances in technology and their seeming rejection of philosophy, I truly feel that the time is right to try again with The Questor Tapes. With the current, scary state of the world, we need more than ever Rod’s idealistic ideas of as better tomorrow. Until it happens, I do recommend this one, for the sheer fun of watching a good, quality 1970s telefilm.

Intermission!

• The latex budget for the self-building scene must be equal to the entire first season of Star Trek
• You know how every alien species always seem to speak perfect English in scifi? So anyway, the ONLY lab tech who left an ENTIRE change of clothes in his OPEN locker rather than a lab coat, like everyone else, happens to have the exact same measurements as the android. What. Friggin. Luck.
• Was BJ Hunnicutt ever young? Or did everybody just look old in the 70s?
• I love Peter Weller but he should’ve watched this movie; Foxworth’s android moves look so much smoother than Robocop’s. Seriously, it’s like all his joint are on ball-bearings rather than hinges. Dude’s got skills!
• Guy just walks out of the EMPTY lab with someone else’s clothes and security guard just… ignores him. Then probably cashed-in his paycheck and went home. I want his job!
• Okay, seriously, Chekhov’s gun HAS to be a LITTLE bit subtle, guys!
• No need to bother with a fake name, just call yourself like the robot everyone’s working on, and you will promptly be ignored. Like a demagogue telling his cult followers he doesn’t give a crap about them, he just needs their votes
• What’s that ’70s obsession with bending window bars like their made of putty?
• Holy Crap! Androids know the Vulcan Nerve pinch! Not saying Roddenberry’s writing was lazy or anything…
• Well of COURSE he can memorize a map with a quick glance, Steve Rogers proved one can do that!
• 90 whole seconds between abject terror and and giving him a piece of his mind! You go doc!
• “My imperative commands”­ Might as well say “Resistance is futile!” Rod did love him some cyborgs!
• “Are you gonna kill me?” That question always baffles me. Will you really believe him if he says no? Do you really want him to say yes?
• Logic and sexual fantasies, the two staples of a good Roddenberry picking!
• Took Data seven seasons and a movie to feel, Foxbot did it in 32 minutes!
• “A medium-fair skin tone? In other words he looks normal!” Paging Lt.Uhura, your ex-boo forgot he’s supposed to be progressive! (Gene and Nichelle were in an open relationship in the ’60s, did you know that?)
• Rod’s got a thing for Canadian actors, doesn’t he?
• I would’ve expected an android to have a Tom Cruise-like kinda running style, not Shatner’s. Go figure!
• You never said / You never asked, a trope that needs to die painfully and be wrought through all nine circles of Hell.
• Okay, an android who can read faster than I lose my hair but is unable to pronounce the name of a very famous French author. Ask for your money back, BJ!
• Holy Crap! That Asian lab tech is Mr. Takagi! Didn’t recognize him without his John Phillips of London suit!
• I can strangely relate with the android, asking the dude if he can call him a friend, and then shaking hands on it. Pretty much how one makes friends once you reach 45.
• “My pimp, the android,” great alternative title.
• Chekov. Gun. Check.
• “One’s creator not sane? An interesting question.” Rod’s always had a weird fascination with gods gone coo-coo for Fruity Pebbles.
• Oh yeah, gunned down by the cops with a machine gun — in a park full of kids — and no bullet holes. GOD I love the ’70s!
• How is he talking to a guy two rooms away through glass doors?
• Is that a soundtrack or did Micheal Winslow fall asleep in a crackhouse again?
• I admit I flunked physics and chemistry, but I’m pretty sure Nuclear Reactor and Hydrogen Bomb are two completely different things.
• “I wouldn’t miss it for the world!” Famous last words, the exact ones I said when Phantom Menace came out.
• You know old cartoons where you can tell which rock will move because it’s drawn a different shade than the other rocks… Not just cartoons, folks!
• Oh shit, they’re doing Tron 10 years before Tron!
• “You chose…wisely.” Is there a franchise this thing DIDN’T influence?
• The bad guy’s redemption arc is all over the place. and damn quickly too!
• Ah! That explains the weird score: made by a guy name Mellé. French for “messed-up.”