“Don’t move. I’ve got a gun. Not here, but I got one.”

Justin’s rating: Great tagline: “It’s not just a movie. It’s every movie.”

Justin’s review: Every now and then it is a good idea to throw aspirations of high society to the wind and indulge in some base Leslie Neilsen spoofery. When I do, I send out a blessing that this white-haired gentleman gladly gave his dignity to keep us entertained. In fact, I have yet to see all of his parodies, so I wanted to make some headway with that by finally getting around to Wrongfully Accused.

While not a Zucker/Abrams/Zucker production, it’s the next best thing — a movie by the guy who wrote much of the Naked Gun, Hot Shots, and Scary Movie series (not to mention Police Academy, Bachelor Party, and Real Genius). Yet Wrongfully Accused ended up being Pat Proft’s one and only shot at the director’s chair, probably because it failed to crack $10 million at the box office against a budget of almost the same amount. Also, he wrote the Star Wars Holiday Special, so I bet Proft made some powerful enemies at Lucasfilm.

While tacitly anchored on The Fugitive as a source framework, this flick goes on to spoof several dozen movies at the time as well as Minnesota. Why Minnesota? Why not, I guess. In any case, it’s like a who’s who of ’90s movie references shown up for the open bar at a class reunion. Why else would Ace Ventura and Anaconda end up in the same vicinity?

But you know the drill for this kind of movie: Plot doesn’t really matter; it’s merely a goof machine that’s spitting out as many jokes and homages as possible in the hopes that enough stick to entertain. There’s also a shameless commitment to exaggeration, cartoonish violence, and sight gags that’ll probably shock a laugh out of you at least once and make you feel embarrassed about it afterward.

While there are allegedly other actors in this (hi Kelly LeBrock! Michael York!), Leslie Nielsen carries this whole production as you might expect. He plays the same kind of cheery airhead who brings chaos and confused looks wherever he travels that he always does. Considering that he was 72 years old when making this, it’s pretty astounding he still has the pep and wild expressions of a man 20 years his junior.

Proft chose his targets well. Even though it’s been over a quarter century since this came out, so many of the references hold up because those films became enshrined in ’90s lore. And having Nielsen bellow “I’ve been wrongfully accused!” over and over while Richard Crenna (gleefully throwing himself into the Tommy Lee Jones role) chases him will never get old.

This sort of movie was my jam as a teenager, with non-subtle cartoony humor meeting me right where I was at, developmentally. Today I might be a little more sophisticated (cough), but I’m not above being amused by a film trying this hard for laughs. It’s relaxing to know what kind of low-stakes giggles you’re in for, in a way.

I’d argue that this is one spoof that really does deserve to be rediscovered rather than forgotten for good. It’s more clever than you might think and just as shamelessly silly as you might expect.

Intermission!

• “The following dramatization is true, based on real events, from other actual movies.”
• Nice reuse of The Fugitive title font
• Lord of the Violin
• Kelly LeBrock and cigars are a dangerous combination
• Lambchop crying
• Seeing a fancy concert turn into a rock concert is pretty amusing
• Don’t feed treats to dogs if you don’t know which end is their face
• “My head is spinning like a dreidel in a sandstorm.”
• CGI is well used to make a tongue stick out of an ear
• “A speech that will have terrorists peeing their pants.”
• Slinky break!
• Nice carbonite chamber reference
• Execution “buffet style” sounds excessive
• I laughed pretty hard at the pre-flight (pre-drive?) safety talk with the prison guard doing all of the hand motions
• “Mr. Booger Lips!”
• The train chasing him down through the woods
• Hungry and on the run? Pretend to be a baby bald eagle so the mama will feed you.
• Oh that shopkeeper’s Minnesotan accent is priceless (“you betcha”)
• The Usual Suspects moment hits out of nowhere — and it is priceless
• “Stalking, schmalking!”
• “Sister?” “It’s like a brother except we do each other’s hair.”
• Close your eyes during flashbacks or you’ll go blind from the white flashes
• Dropping the manhole cover on the Marshal’s head was a great little bit
• HAHA the Baywatch moment: “cold cold cold!”
• “I have a meeting in… Mensroom.”
• ANACONDA
• The news lady losing her voice when he hits the mute button. She really freaks out if you watch the background.
• Mentos plugs never get old. Until they got old.
• Don’t hide out in dirty diapers, it’s never worth it
• Charlie’s Angels pose
• The traumatic fallout from diaper stink
• “Put him in the 10 bullets or less lane.”
• The poor guy who gets 200,000 ccs of adrenaline
• Walking and talking in circles
• Suction cups are highly destructive
• The Mission Impossible room… which is Jewish for some reason?
• That is not a very stealthy car if you’re trying to evade capture (and I love how crazy it is)
• Cornfields are great for North by Northwest, Field of Dreams, and Children of the Corn references
• There are a few jokes tucked into the end credits
• “I packed light. Everything I need is right here in my pants.”
• “Pull up a bucket of nightmares and sit down.”
• “Signal yes by shooting yourself in the head three times.”
• Cats are fun to throw against windows
• Don’t stand on a windy grate in a kilt