“Fifty dollars if you make it, twenty-five if you don’t.”

Drake’s rating: Vroom! Oops. *Crash*

Drake’s review: So waaaaay back in the 1970s there was this guy named Evel Knievel who became famous just for jumping his motorcycle over things. Well, OK, sometimes he jumped over things. Other times, he ended up crashing and rolling and breaking bones. Either way, though, Knievel was famous. And I mean really famous. His name was known in any given household, his jumps were national news, there was an Evel Knievel pinball machine, and the Ideal Toy Company released a whole line of Evel Knievel toys.

He was everywhere. Including of course, the big screen. In 1971, just as Knievel’s star was on the rise, George Hamilton, a man famous for having a tan, decided to make a movie about the man famous for jumping his motorcycle over things.

The resulting film, as you might imagine, is not very good.

Hamilton, who really made his mark in B-movies nearly a decade later with Love at First Bite and Zorro, the Gay Blade, has flashes of offbeat humor here and there. He seems to know how outrageous the material is and for brief moments leans into it. But then he pulls back again and lets Evel Knievel (the movie, not the man) settle into a pedestrian pace as it cuts between the Knievel of 1971 readying himself for a big jump, and the Knievel of the past tooling around his hometown of Butte, Montana.

But Evel, then known simply as Bobby Knievel, is looking for more than the bustling metropolis of Butte can provide, and so begins his journey towards a life of daredevil antics, national fame and dozens of broken bones. The movie is interspersed with film clips of Knievel’s actual jumps and crashes as Hamilton-as-Knievel reminisces about his experiences. He also waxes on about “weirdos” riding motorcycles, then proceeds to jump a bike over a couple of trucks. As non-weirdos do.

Evel Knievel also leans heavily into promotional territory, as constant references are made to “the canyon.” Evel Knievel (the man, not the movie) was lobbying to jump the Grand Canyon at the time, but the United States Department of the Interior was firm in their denial. Evidently even George Hamilton’s impressive tan and winning smile didn’t change their minds, as Knievel was forced to change his choice of venues to the Snake River Canyon a few years later.

In between jumps and monologues (including one wherein Knievel assures us that he doesn’t know what the word “impossible” means… I guess there was no room for a dictionary on his stunt bike), Evel finds the girl of his dreams and pursues her relentlessly. To the point of riding his motorcycle into and through a women’s boarding house as he calls out her name. Evidently Knievel doesn’t know what the word “boundaries” means, either.

The film ends with footage of Knievel’s successful 129-foot jump at California’s Ontario Speedway, and he speeds down a dirt road towards “the canyon.” The one he’s never going to jump.

But that doesn’t end Evel Knievel’s attempt at big screen success. Knievel was back in 1977, this time playing himself in Viva Knievel. And if you think I’m hoping another Mutant takes the bullet on that one, you’re absolutely correct.

Intermission!

• Evel Knievel finally attempted a jump over the Snake River Canyon in 1974. It did not go well. The parachute on his rocket-powered skycycle deployed at launch and the headwinds blew the craft back so that it landed in the canyon, having only made a few scant feet of headway.
• In 1977, Knievel made plans to jump over a water-filled tank of sharks. That’s right: He was literally going to jump the shark. A rehearsal crash that broke both of his arms brought a premature end to that stunt, however.
• So, while Evel was recovering from that attempted jump, a promoter named Sheldon Saltman released a book titled “Evel Knievel on Tour.” Saltman had promoted the Snake River Canyon jump and had brought a tape recorder with him to record interviews and information about the event for a book. When the book painted an unflattering picture of Knievel, he and a friend assaulted Saltman with a baseball bat, shattering the man’s arm as he tried to defend himself.
• As a result of the cowardly attack, Knievel found out what the words “liable” and “guilty” meant. Sentenced to six months of work furlough and three years of probation, Knievel was also sued by Saltman. The $12.75 million judgment forced Knievel to declare bankruptcy and he never paid a dime of what he owed. However, his toy line was ended, his sponsorships and marketing deals were done, and Knievel’s career was effectively over.