“With the advances of science in these notes of my father’s, I will succeed in creating a perfect being”

Drake’s rating: She’s alive! Alive!!! But not for long.

Drake’s review: There are those movies out there that are hidden gems, would-be classics that never found an audience in their day and are ripe for rediscovery.

I mean, those films do exist, but given my viewing proclivities they probably won’t be showing up in my queue. No, instead I get things like Frankenstein’s Daughter, a movie that is almost Ed Woodian in its lack of budget and overabundance of nonsensical dialogue.

Carter Morton (Felix Locher) is a scientist looking for a way to stop the aging process. Working out of the laboratory in the basement of his house, because Carter is a proponent of working from home, he informs his assistant Oliver Frank (Donald Murphy) of his plans. Frank is both skeptical of his employer’s ideas, and smug in his own scientific superiority.

Meanwhile, Trudy (Sandra Knight), Carter’s niece, is having nightmares while she sleeps and fending off the advances of Frank when she’s awake. Frank’s interest in Trudy is more scientific than physical, however, as he keeps slipping her a concoction that turns Trudy from her normal lovely self into a monstrous creature that runs around in a bathing suit and terrorizes gas station attendants. Why does Frank drug Trudy? For SCIENCE, of course! And also because he’s secretly a Frankenstein, and his lineage demands he tamper in nature’s domain.

But when Trudy’s frenemy Suzie (Sally Todd) catches Frank’s eye, he decides that she’s just who he needs to complete his piecemeal collection of body parts. Frank is going full-Frankenstein and building a woman out of spare parts, a creation that his bodysnatcher sidekick Elsu incorrectly dubs “Frankenstein’s daughter.”

And honestly, Elsu should know better. After making grand proclamations about working for Frank’s father and grandfather, he of all people should know that the family is named Frankenstein, not the monster. It’s an embarrassing slip-up, and makes one wonder if Elsu’s been hitting the formaldehyde just a bit too hard.

But why is Frank creating a woman instead of a man? Well, because it’s 1958 and Frank realizes that, with over 22 million women now in the work force, they’re the ones getting things done.

Just kidding. In truth, Frank’s not only smug and skeptical, but a misogynist to boot. He tells Elsu, “But now we’re aware that the female brain is conditioned to a man’s world, and therefore takes orders where the other ones didn’t.” Sure, Frank. Tell you what, come over and say that to my wife. I guarantee you’ll be picking up your teeth like a handful of dropped Chiclets.

Frank’s monster gets loose, of course, and runs around in a vinyl and duct tape outfit because the costume design budget for this flick was probably around five bucks. When the police come knocking Frank lets Carter take the fall so he can continue on with his work. Trudy’s boyfriend Johnny (John Ashley, from Dragstrip Girl and about a zillion beach movies) goes to help the old man, allowing Frank to go full creep-o on the girl and show her his great work. Surprisingly unimpressed with Frank’s vinyl-clad monster, she flees and lets the police know that her house has a mad scientist infestation.

And let’s face it, we all know where it goes from there. Although unfortunately lacking in villagers with pitchforks and torches, the end of the movie sees the familiar destruction of the creator and created alike. Frankenstein’s “daughter” fares no better than her cinematic forebears, getting lit (in a bad way) by an errant Bunsen burner while her creator takes a jar of acid to the face. The detective on the case looks on passively at the carnage, Trudy and Johnny go swimming and Harold Lloyd, Jr. channels his famous father and takes a pratfall into the swimming pool.

The End. Yes, of the film, but also of this review. Now get outta here. And if you have a basement, make sure to check it every month or so for mad scientists. Those things can really get out of control.

Intermission!

• Felix Locher was an inventor, as well as the father of Jon Hall. Hall was a prolific actor as well as an inventor himself, and with his father created the Locher-Hall Telecurve map, which integrated global air routes with the distance traveled.
• According to John Ashley, the end of Frankenstein’s Daughter was shot at Silent Film star Harold Lloyd’s home as his son had a role in the film.
• They even have a musical interlude and let Harold Lloyd, Jr. sing. It’s pretty traumatizing.
• That is a man playing the creature. Not knowing Frank’s creature was supposed to be a woman, the designer put lipstick on the prosthetic at the last minute.
• Frankenstein’s Daughter did have a minuscule budget: around $65,000. It was sold to Astor Films for distribution. Five years later, Astor went out of business. A coincidence? I think not!