“I think the smart money should shut up.”

Justin’s rating: Give this man an apple, he’ll take three bad guys out before he gets to the core

Justin’s review: With the unfortunate death of Treat Williams this summer, I felt that I should do something in honor of all of the mid-tier heroic goodness that he graced us with over the decades. And what better tribute to give than to look at the first of three (!) sequels he did to 1996’s The Substitute, which made the series wholly his own.

If I recall correctly — it’s been a long time — the first movie was all about answering the question, “What if a former mercenary took a substitute teaching gig at a school troubled by crime and stuff?” This was, oddly enough, a very modest success, and not two years later, Treat Williams took the baton from Tom Berenger to continue answering this complex question a few more times. And if you’re wondering, no, there’s not much connection beyond theming and some minor lip service between the movies. However, a couple of the original creators did return, so there’s some genuine effort put into making this worth seeing.

Mercenary Karl Thomasson (Williams) comes back home to NYC after his teacher brother is murdered in an attempted carjacking. Since everything points to a nasty gang at a local high school, Karl 21 Jump Streets it up by joining the faculty, continuing his personal investigation, and protecting his niece Anya. It also gives him the opportunity to roll out the template from the first movie — you know, the unorthodox teacher with a certain set of skills who ends up inspiring a class and wrangling the bad guys.

(This was actually filmed in Brooklyn at a former high school, which lends some authenticity to the setting).

Of course, the class that Karl adopts is the roughest, toughest, most unruly collection of troubled students. I know this, because I am a keen observer of details. I think the locked prison gate, metal detector, and barbed wire leading up to that floor was a subtle clue in that direction. But he’s not too worried, for Karl has a yo-yo, years of experience teaching soldiers around the world, a mysterious janitor, and some outside help. Oh, and a lesson plan.

The tension of these movies is whether the pretend teacher is over his head or the bad guys are — and a smart director knows to walk this line carefully enough to make us see things going either way until the last minute. Still, it is fun to see this Trojan merc turn the odds on local thugs who are used to getting their own way through intimidation, murder, and an automatic pitching machine. Williams balances an affable personality, a pretty buff stature, and a cargo hold of confidence, making for a strong lead. And I really loved how he genuinely tries to teach the kids history — and starts to make some headway with turning these minds around to something more productive.

What I’m trying to say is that The Substitute 2: School’s Out is more than a lazy cash grab. It’s a really solid piece of entertainment with just enough thrills, fight scenes, infiltration, and some captivating teaching scenes that make 90 minutes feel well spent indeed.

Intermission!

• Hey, a bad Alice Cooper cover song!
• Backwards hoodies are the ski masks for the ’90s generation
• Family reunions are best done at funerals
• “Did you know he was teaching me karate?” *lame kick*
• It only takes a couple of days to get a teaching certificate
• Most schools have a floor with a locked gate and barbed wire! You know, for the dangerous kids.
• The yo-yo scene is pretty brilliant
• “What have we learned? Never judge a book by its cover.”
• Torture by automatic pitching machine
• The janitor arriving into the bathroom via duct
• “You crawl around in these walls long enough, you hear some things.”
• “Was that radio expensive?” “Nah nah, I stole it.”
• Every janitor has a collection of Vietnam weapons in his subbasement
• The methane bomb trap
• About time this movie had a flamethrower
• Tons of people gunned down and stabbed? “Back to class!”